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CJohn

The Dark Tower | August 4, 2017 | McConaughey, Elba | Reviews coming in, it's a bomb etc. etc. - we know this drill by now

By CJohn, in Box Office Discussion

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ZattMurdock Global Phenomenon

ZattMurdock

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Twenty years from now this film will be critically acclaimed just like Blade Runner. JUST WATCH.  

 

(I'm tempted to make a Jesus Christ image out of the director's face but I can't even spell his name, let alone know where to find a good picture of his) 

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That One Girl Global Phenomenon

That One Girl

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1 minute ago, iJackSparrow said:

Twenty years from now this film will be critically acclaimed just like Blade Runner. JUST WATCH.  

 

(I'm tempted to make a Jesus Christ image out of the director's face but I can't even spell his name, let alone know where to find a good picture of his) 

 

Nikolaj+Arcel+Royal+Affair+Premiere+Arri

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Daenys Cult Classic

Daenys

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http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/08/02/the-dark-tower-review

 

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I was not surprised to discover that Idris Elba's the best thing in the movie (he struggles mightily to sell large chunks of the film's expository dialogue and...well, what can I say? Everyone's got their limitations), but I was surprised by how much I disliked Matthew McConaughey's take on The Man In Black. Word on the street has long suggested McConaughey would be chewing his way through the scenery on this one, and that turns out to be right on the money. In theory, you can imagine how that might work - Walter's pure evil, but there issome goofiness to the character! - but in practice it's showboaty and embarrassing. There's a scene where the MIB pops up in a character's kitchen, wearing an apron and cooking himself a chicken dinner. Knowing the character, you can see what they were going for here, but like so many other elements, it just feels ridiculous (also ridiculous: every time McConaughey refers to his "magicks"; there's a moment where he says something to Roland along the lines of "Ah, I see you are still impervious to my magicks!" that made me reenact the "White Guy Blinking" gif right there in the theater).

 

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thelich343 Indie Sensation

thelich343

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10 minutes ago, iJackSparrow said:

Spider-Man isn't showing up. Trust me. Sony wouldn't dare to fuck their partnership with Marvel Studios up. 

First, I doubt MS would suddenly let go of Spidey just for something that trivial, because now that they've actually revived him, they still kinda need him, the MCU is 10 years old, fans are getting older, movies are getting frontloaded, they need the freshness and the youth appeal, you'll notice them gunning for it in the new films.

 

Second, MS wouldn't even complain in the first place. Why would they?

 

Third, and most important, yes Sony would fuck it up. It's what the internet says they're good at, remember?

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