Cookie Does Requests or Whatever (Cookie's Corner Y6) - Unlike Garfield, this thread doesn't hate Mondays

[4815162342]

15 minutes ago, cookie said:

The Most Wanted Man in Great Britain

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

This is the third installment in Numbers 'history' trilogy, which so far has hade quite the stellar track record (And the Band Played On and Fortnight were my #1 picks of their respective years). Does this third installment, depicting a young Charles II's escape from a Cromwell-ruled England, stack up to such high expectations.

 

Let me just go ahead and say that for whoever vies my #1 spot this year already has tough competition, for yep, this was awesome.

 

I think the most surprising part is how fun and funny a lot of it is. Even if it's mostly a straightforward drama, there are more than a few randomly awesome bits that not only I think would really go down well with a big crowd, but also make the movie feel very breezy even against its historical backdrop.

 

And even outside the awesome bits, it's genuinely engaging. I don't know how much attention @4815162342's paid to historical detail, but as a story, it's really engrossing and you come to care about the characters involved. Tom Holland and Florence Pugh have nice chemistry

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

and I felt genuinely sad when Pugh revealed that baby was stillborn even if we had just met its parents two minutes earlier

and Sam Heughan is a real dark horse as Wilmot. That hammer scene is cinematic perfection.

 

But my god, as brief as his scenes are, just hand Best Supporting Actor to Dan Stevens as The Colonel right now. He's such a shithead that the combined jealousness coming from Ben Foster, Justin Theroux and Boyd Holbrook can be smelled from the next town over. There's not a single moment he isn't a massive turd, and my new headcanon is that he was just born that way. Seriously, Stevens is a riot whenever he's on screen and if there's anything I wish this movie had more of was more scenes of him being a complete bastard.

 

I don't actually have that much else to say that wouldn't just be me heaping praise at this point, so here's the grade:

 

A

 

Congratulations on three home runs in a row, @4815162342

 

 

Thanks a whole bunch. It was very fun to write.

 

This one has by far the most historical deviations of the three history movies, for dramatic/narrative purposes. 

[cookie]

2 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

This one has by far the most historical deviations of the three history movies, for dramatic/narrative purposes. 

Might honestly be better for it.

[4815162342]

4 minutes ago, cookie said:

Might honestly be better for it.

 

For one there wouldn't be any Colonel.

[cookie]

In honor of the third consecutive A for @4815162342's history trilogy, a list of my favorite Numbers characters in no particular order:

 

Albino Pidge

Shithead Stevens

Daddy M'Baku

Carrie Coon, Miles Teller Eviscerator

Torpedo Neeson

Hammertime Heughan

Coran Cornwallis

J.K Simmons Wizard

 

Honorary mention: Peter Dinklage Wizard

[Ezen Baklattan]

4 minutes ago, cookie said:

In honor of the third consecutive A for @4815162342's history trilogy, a list of my favorite Numbers characters in no particular order:

 

Albino Pidge

Shithead Stevens

Daddy M'Baku

Carrie Coon, Miles Teller Eviscerator

Torpedo Neeson

Hammertime Heughan

Coran Cornwallis

J.K Simmons Wizard

 

Honorary mention: Peter Dinklage Wizard

Disrespect for Half Off Aloth? Rude.

[cookie]

So I started Lumberjanes...

 

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

28 minutes ago, cookie said:

So I started Lumberjanes...

 

 

....what is there not to get?

 

Should I be scared again?

 

WHAT WILL YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS YEAR

Edited September 25, 2019 by Spaghetti

[cookie]

2 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

....what is there not to get?

 

Should I be scared again?

 

WHAT WILL YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS YEAR

It took me until the third act, but I think I kinda get it... kinda.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Just now, cookie said:

It took me until the third act, but I think I kinda get it... kinda.

 

....the movie or a just one element in it?

[Ezen Baklattan]

Also is that Homer Simpsom video gonna show up for every Noelle Stevenson movie I have?

[cookie]

Lumberjanes: Secret of the Eye

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

1

Spoiler

This is what smashing Scott Pilgrim and Cartoon Network together while doing LSD looks like.

 

No, seriously, this was... weird. I haven't actually had a chance to read the comics in full, but the way they're translated here... I don't know if it's for the better or for the worse. I'm going to assume for the worse.

 

It takes quite a while for anyone to actually explain all the random encounters that happen and by that point I was honestly close to checking out. Where did the three-eyed foxes come from? Did Jo just have that "golden eye" with her the whole time? I guess Apollo and Artemis were just two god kids fucking around in the camp, but the way that "twist" is delivered is really bizarre. And what was up with Dave Bautista, even if he was funny?

 

I kinda criticized the first Bounty Hamster movie for being too random and weird for my taste... and this kinda stumps it for me. If it was a comic or an animated film I would've accepted the weirdness more, but I don't know if it really works in live action.

 

At least a trans actress getting a starring role is a good thing and I liked the camaraderie between the kids, so...

 

B-/C+

 

Edited September 25, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

Ouch.

 

Will say that there's more kinda weird stuff in the comics, and the plot literally jumps right in to the fox scene. (It's literally the first scene of the first issue) There's also a lot of stuff that got cut, but the core of the story is there. I can promise that the issues I adapted from are just as chaotic and bizarre, if not more so.

 

Also the eye fell from one of the foxes that dissolved. Not sure how clearly that was conveyed.

 

Either way....hopefully this was my yearly sacrificial lamb.

Edited September 25, 2019 by Spaghetti

[Ezen Baklattan]

But I'll be real:

 

This is what smashing Scott Pilgrim and Cartoon Network together while doing LSD looks like.

 

I don't care if you're mixed on it. That line fucking rules.

[4815162342]

5 hours ago, cookie said:

Mass Effect: Ascension

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

 

2

Spoiler

So remember how I said the first Mass Effect was basically Mission: Impossible in space? Ascension is still that but mixed in with a bit of Jack Ryan

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

and Iron Man 3, for reasons that won't be spoiled

 for good measure. This has its benefits and its drawbacks at the same time.

 

One of the things that impressed me with the first film was how brisk it felt in terms of pacing. It was sort of relentless, worked fast and was a pretty easy watch. Ascension is slower and a bit more intimate, and it takes a fair while for the game to reveal itself. That, on the one hand, is good because the film, in general, feels more confident in regards to its characters and allows them room for development that would've been otherwise taken up by action sequences (not that there aren't a fair amount of them, but they're smaller in overall scale than the first film). This does also mean that the pacing isn't as tight as the first film.

 

I think the movie starts to stretch itself going into the last third. I love me some Garrus, but the whole ten minute bit of him and Shepard snooping around in the Citadel trying to figure out something the audience already knows, on top of his late introduction, is where the film gets long in the tooth for me. I honestly think that segment could've been streamlined where the culprit is revealed to them much quicker since it's already been revealed to us.

 

Pacing issues aside, the strength of this film still lies on the report between the various members of the Normandy crew, but this time they're joined by a subplot involving two psychic-powered teenagers that becomes a bigger and bigger factor as the story proceeds. It gets to that point where it starts to maybe risk overshadowing the lingering dynamic between Shepard and Banes (spoilers, he's back, whatever), but the movie does make up for it with an extended final showdown between the two.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Not sure if leaving Banes alive so he can return a third time won't be cause for diminishing returns, so I hope the succeeding films keep him more in the background.

 

Mass Effect's ambitions have admittedly never been on the same level as the likes of Spark, Voltron or Scavenger Wars in the space opera pantheon, at least not at the moment, but there is something to be said about the niche its carved for its own in that realm. Since it appears that the overarching storyline is soon going to be overlap with the games, though, that appears it's about to be rectified — and if it follows through, rectified big time.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

And Don Draper as Illusive Man is hype

 

A-/B+

 

To address my earlier posts:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

I started thinking this was going to be a bit similar to Scavvies 2 in some areas (the split narrative between a troubled space officer and a psychic teenager gave those vibes), but I'll freely admit I jumped the gun on that front since the movie went off in a very different direction.

 

 

 

Now that I am home from work and on desktop, some expanded thoughts in spoiler tags

 

Spoiler

 

In hindsight I agree that Shepard/Garrus, Buddy Cops could have been cut down. I'm not quite sure as how I would have best managed that, but the main reason to have them apart for that long was to ensure they arrived later than Kaidan and thus were in position to intercept Banes and the backup.

 

I actually debated cutting out the entire airspeeder chase and industrial section showdown and having the full Shep/Banes showdown be at the diplomatic conference, to shorten the third act action a bit. But I kept it in since I wanted there to be another action setpiece that focused more on Shepard resolving things.

 

The dymanic with Gillian and Zero/Jack was definitely something that grew as I actually got to writing the film. They were not as big components in my original head-canon outline. I think I ended up leaning on them more in the end for a few reasons. Since Zero/Jack was always intended to be the ultimate "MacGuffin" of the movie, I felt we needed to get inside her head more and show someone lonely, burdened by pressure, and a little embittered be taken advantage of. That of course meant beefing up Gillian's role some more. In some thoughts Kaidan would play an equal role in talking Zero/Jack down and back to the light side, but as I outlined the film there wasn't really any way for the two to meet earlier in the movie, so there wouldn't be a reason for her to listen to him. I also find Jack to be one of the more complex and interesting characters in the games, so I wanted to make my own spin on her early on, so that the groundwork is laid for if/when the two reappear in a future movie.

 

As for Banes, as I mentioned, it very much in my mind was 50/50 whether to kill him or keep him around. I ultimately chose to spare him because I felt that Shepard sparing him was a sign of her growth in that instead of just killing him and discarding that part of her past (like Kylo Ren would do lol), she is acknowledging it and accepting as something to remind her of, and maybe holding out a small hope that the person she knew would come back. I think it better puts her at peace. As for him appearing again, I can tell you right now, he won't be in the next one, and 97% chance would not be in the one after that. His role in the galactic story is done at this point. That said, given how big Cerberus becomes eventually in the series, and given that certain Cerberus characters are either extremely bland or extremely infuriating, I am leaving open the possibility that he might serve as some adapted merger of those roles to a degree.

 

Illusive Man was always going to be either Jon Hamm or John Slattery. I flipped a coin right before I wrote that scene.

 

 

Some of the decisions I made for certain character emphasis and storylines I did to set up how things play out in future films. As a game veteran, I think you by this point have sussed out one of them, which I definitely won't get into in a thread here because it'd be a major spoiler.

 

 

[cookie]

I'm gonna be honest to @Spaghetti; Like Spark 3 initially, there's a chance I might have blinked and missed an important thread somewhere. I'll probably come back to it closer to the top 25 just so I can grasp what I just read.

 

And I swear, these annual sacrificial lambs aren’t on purpose. I actually thought this year would be the exception.

Edited September 25, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

I actually have a few answers for some of your questions, @cookie:

 

Spoiler

Where did the three-eyed foxes come from?

The book itself is kinda vague about this, but given that they provide the "kitten holy" clue, they're clearly connected to the Greek god shenanigans at the camp. Their fight with the lumberjanes was almost a test, the foxes wondering if they might be worthy...

 

Did Jo just have that "golden eye" with her the whole time?

She found it on the ground where the foxes disappeared. Sorry if that wasn't 100% clear.

 

I guess Apollo and Artemis were just two god kids fucking around in the camp, but the way that "twist" is delivered is really bizarre.

It's done a bit differently than in the book, but it plays kind of with the fast and funny nature of the reveal as well as feels in character with Diane. She wants to give Jo the basic version so she'll get off her back. Basically they're at the camp so they can try and be at the lightning strike that grants victory to Zeus' challenge, disguised as mortals.

 

And what was up with Dave Bautista, even if he was funny?

Apollo's disguise. A bit more could have been done with that, granted, but he's basically near the camp so he can try and find out how he can beat his sister at the test, as well as anyone who might stand in his way. He actually, ironically, gets a bit more to do here than he does in the comic.

 

If it seems like a weird Scott Pilgrim/Cartoon Network hybrid....well that's basically what I conceived it as, with a bit of a Taika Waititi-esque flair. I probably should have chosen a director more explicitly comedic than Caro to make the Pilgrimesque style clear, but I really wanted to firmly have an all female crew. It's definitely not gonna be everyone's bread and butter because it really is bizarre at times, but that's part of the charm of it IMO.

 

Also, I actaully cut some weirder bits (including a bear woman and a cutthroat tag war) for the sake of time.

Edited September 25, 2019 by Spaghetti

[Ezen Baklattan]

17 minutes ago, cookie said:

And I swear, these annual sacrificial lambs aren’t on purpose. I actually thought this year would be the exception.

Honestly half the time (including this one) it's usually just something not exactly being your cup of tea. And I promise you that I completely take it in stride.

 

Hell, maybe other people are mixed too, or there's another project that's even more divisive for you. 

 

 

[cookie]

33 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

Honestly half the time (including this one) it's usually just something not exactly being your cup of tea. And I promise you that I completely take it in stride.

 

Hell, maybe other people are mixed too, or there's another project that's even more divisive for you. 

 

 

You know my opinion on Paradise Island through PM, so that’s off the table at least. Haven’t read that Shuri anthology film yet, but it looks promising. XJ-9 could go either way, perhaps.

Edited September 25, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, cookie said:

You know my opinion on Paradise Island through PM, so that’s off the table at least. Haven’t read that Shuri anthology film yet, but it looks promising at least. XJ-9 could go either way, I think.

Spoiler

Also for Paradise Island, I pretty much made all of the edits you suggested.

 

XJ9 I have hope that you'll dig.

 

[cookie]

1 minute ago, Spaghetti said:

  Hide contents

Also for Paradise Island, I pretty much made all of the edits you suggested.

 

XJ9 I have hope that you'll dig.

 

Spoiler

I’m kinda rooting for it for reasons you should know, so