BOF Presents: Les Sympathiques (THE STORY'S NOT OVER)

[Ezen Baklattan]

PART 3

 

The confrontation scene was a pain to write, due to the overlapping vocal duel of Javert and Valjean. If the lyrics don't match up completely well, I apologize.

___________________________________________

 

 

*Holtine, after her heartbreaking performance, has returned to the rest of the whores. Another gentleman, Squaremonsieur, comes into the scene, planning to be up all night to get lucky.*

 

SQUAREMONSIEUR: Well look at this here, a budding Nolanite, / Come on, baby girl, I’ll give you a good night. / The usual likes, / for just one little bite.

HOLTINE: Shit, you’re so extra, / Get out of my face.

SQUAREMONSIEUR: How dare you, bitch! / I won’t give more!

HOLTINE: Please, I need them!

SQUAREMONSIEUR: You’ve got some nerve, you little like whore, / You’ve got the goods, / It’s not like the Godzilla trailer, / The audience sees what it gets in advance. *Holtine is furious. How dare he insult Godzilla?* It’s not for a like whore to act so bland, / It’s not for the harlot to make something big, or lead me to the GIFs!

*A furious Holtine roundhouse kicks Squaremonsieur. He begins bleeding.*

HOLTINE: I’ll get you banned, you ingrate, no likes for you! / I’ll make a GIF of me beating your ass, / You don’t get to screw!

SQUAREMONSIEUR: By Nolan you’ll pay for what you have done, / This extra will make you suffer, you see! / I guarantee, you’ll see the end, / of you’re time on the net, / For this insult to the maker of the best of DC!

HOLTINE: Wait, no, don’t report me! / I have too many warning points!

SQUAREMONSIEUR: Make your excuse to the mods!

 

*Televert and several constables travel in, originally seeking to get with the like whores himself, but noticing this dubious scene and stopping.*

TELEVERT: Tell me quickly, what just happened, / Sir, record this on the next page! / Let him make his post descriptive, / if it justifies the rages. / In this nest of likes and slander, / Let one speak who stayed awake! / Who flamed at this good man here? / Does my ban hammer have to quake?

SQUAREMONSIEUR: Tele, would you believe it, / I was crossing from the Speakeasy / When this prostitute bitch slapped me, / left me feeling quite queasy.

TELEVERT: Just one sole witness in society, / Is enough for a full report, / This witch is going to be punished, / at the mercy of the court.

HOLTINE: There’s a child who sorely needs me, / telling stories of Batman! / I cannot help her keep surviving, / if you give me the big ban!

TELEVERT: I have heard such bogus stories, / Every day on the world wide web, / You’d best thank all your lucky stars, / if you do not end up dead. / Honest work for honest wage, / That’s the way to please RTH.

*As Holtine begins to be taken away by Televert, Valblank comes in to investigate the scene, making a plea to Tele*

VALBLANK: A moment of your time, Tele, / This woman seems honest and true,

TELEVERT: Are you kidding me?!

VALBLANK: You have done your duty, but leave her be, / She loved Gravity as much as you.

TELEVERT: But everyone did...

HOLTINE: Seriously, bb?!

VALBLANK: She’s had enough strikes, / much less a child without likes, / I’ve seen your profile before, / Give me a way to help you, / How have you come to stride, / in this disturbing thread?

HOLTINE: Tele, don’t remove me from these boards, / It’s hard enough I’ve lost my pride, / You let your foreman throw me out, / Yes, you were there, just standing aside, / I never screwed up! / But please I need support, / Pinkette is on the verge of suspension, / If RTH lies above, with his noble heart, / He’d take me instead, / so please open up your heart.

VALBLANK: In his name, My new goal has begun. / I will see it done, I will see it done!

TELEVERT: But M’sieur Mayor!

VALBLANK: I will see it done!

 

*Meanwhile, Valblank is returning to his home for the evening, but Televert reports that he must return to the trail of Blank Valblank, who is really a man named Alpha. Televert assures him that he need not worry, and this man will be promptly banned. Televert leaves, and Valblank feels rather guilty, but with other emotions mixed in.*

 

 

 

VALBLANK: He thinks that I’m the poster, / without a profile check! / That stranger he has found, / could take my place in heck! / Why should I report the truth? / Why should I right this wrong? / And van I go just one scene, / without bursting into song? / If I speak, I am banned, / but can I really deal this back hand? / I am the master of hundreds of posters, / They all look to my likes, / Can I abandon them, even though I try to change the system? / If I speak, they are banned, / Someone please change what is planned...

 

Who am I? / Can I exile this man to 4chan? / Pretend I do not feel his discomfort? / This innocent who bears my pic, / victimized by me as a dick,

 

Who am I? / Pretend I’m not Felix or Toothless now, / I need to raise this damned quota somehow, / These forums all need to be saved, / though everyone must think I’m crazed,

 

Must I lie? / How can I wander in CAYOM again? / Act as a traitor to my fellow men (and women!) / I need to find the new value, / in likes and glory, all we do, / RTH gave me likes, with good music gone! / He gave me strength, to journey on!

 

*Blank runs into the courtroom and finds his seeming doppleganger, Alpha, on trial in front of Televert and a jury*

 

Who am I, Who am I? I AM BLANK VALBLANK!

 

And so Tele, you see the truth, / this man is as much of a cusser as you!

 

Who am I? / NINETY ONE MILLION!!!!!!

 

*Everyone begins laughing uncomfortably. Has Valblank (Still as Milleralorde) had too much Kronol this evening? Televert certainly seems to think so. Valblank suddenly remembers that he was going to meet Holtine later that evening and goes away, seeing as his big revelation lacked the dramatic effect he desired. Lo and behold, Holtine is dying slowly in here bed, thinking of Pinkette*

 

 

HOLTINE: Pinkette, it’s become so cold, / Pinkette, it’s time for bed, / You already watched Mememnto three times, / and don’t you pull the Insomnia card. / Come to me, Pinkette, my ban may be coming, / Don’t you see my warning points appearing? / Come to me, we’ll write Batman together, / How fast time flies with you, in any kind of weather, / Hurry near, Spatula is spreading the news, / We’ll both speak together, there’s no time to lose, / The mods have come for me with no sign, / My Nolan-loving daughter of nine.

 

VALBLANK: Oh, Holtine, I fear yLooou may be gone, / But Holtine, I swear this on my life

HOLTINE: Loon, Monsieur, the games young posters play

VALBLANK: Be at peace, love your life forevermore,

HOLTINE: My Pinkette...

VALBLANK: Shall live with my protection.

HOLTINE: Take her now,

VALBLANK: Your child will finish her story,

HOLTINE: My Pinkette...

VALBLANK: Shall live with my protection.

HOLTINE: Good M’sieur, you come from RTH.

VALBLANK: No personal attacks will harm Pinkette / as long as I am posting.

HOLTINE: Take my hand, / the bitches are growing colder,

VALBLANK: But I will keep you warm,

HOLTINE: Take my child, I give her to you, bb.

VALBLANK: No personal attacks will harm Pinkette / as long as I am posting.

HOLTINE: Take my hand, / the bitches are growing colder,

VALBLANK: Take shelter from the Shays,

HOLTINE: I know to god that you will save her, / I haven’t a fearful itch, / and to all those who truly killed me, say,

 

 

*Holtine fades into thin air. She has effectively been banned in this plane of existence. Everyone cries yet again, but like with every beautiful moment, a moderator comes to kill it. While Valblank is still mourning, Televert comes in, finally realizing that Valblank wasn’t joking.*

 

 

TELEVERT: Of course, Blank Valblank, / I suspected much about you, / Like a Portguese pervert, / wandering out around two.

VALBLANK: Before you say another word, Tele, / Before you chain me like a like slave again, / Listen to me! There is something I must do, / I must foster the like of a suffering child. / There is none but me who can save the day, / Please give me pardon in any way, / Then I’ll return to be your slave, / Then I’ll return.

TELEVERT: You must think I’m insane! / I’ve lusted-er-hunted you across the years, / A man like you will never change, / A man...such as you...

TELEVERT (VALBLANK): Fools like you are all the same (Believe of me what you must), / Like slaves playing the constant game, / 91 million, (No, please, I must foster this young child), My duty to the Bottle, (It is a task that I promised the girl), / You have no right (All I did was say one bad word), / (It’s not like the biggest conservatives heard) So come with me 91 million / How the game has changed for you (I will never come with you), / (Blank Valblank is nothing now) But I must use my admin duties

VALBLANK: Don’t you talk of rules breaking, I am warning you, Tele

TELEVERT: But the price you had to pay, / I have power over you, / All posters will just make waste, without promotion to subdue. / You know nothing of Tele, I was once lived in your shoe, / I exploited complaint makers, / I was once a like whore too!

 

*A Mortal Kombat style fight breaks out. Tele can shoot balls of fire out of his hands, but Valblank suddenly is an expert of martial arts.*

VALBLANK: And this I swear to you tonight!

TELEVERT: There is nothing you can post,

VALBLANK: I must protect the prodigy,

TELEVERT: No matter how you pander,

VALBLANK: And I will raise her to be liked,

BOTH: And you will never forget about me!

 

*After the fight nearly ends, Valblank knocks out Televert and base jumps away, escaping into the horizon to find Pinkette*

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

Looks like some shit really went down in this last part. We can take things a bit easier for Part 4, where we get to meet little Pinkette and the 'Masters of the Board.'

Edited October 19, 2014 by Spaghetti

[Jack Nevada]

[4815162342]

Dat CJohn reference

[Ezen Baklattan]

Now for a fun little game for which there will be a prize.Your challenge: Predict the users cast as the Thenardiers. If there is a tie (given how there are two, it is very likely), the first person to post winning predictions gets the prize, which is a mystery! The deadline is next Thursday at noon.My one hint is that Thenardier is a male, but Madam Thenardier is a female.

Edited July 18, 2014 by Spaghetti

[filmlover]

I can't breath. This has brought so much joy to my life.

Edited July 18, 2014 by filmlover

[Blankments]

so much attention to detail

 

I mean "Pretend I’m not Felix or Toothless now" is such a genius specific line to my past avatars that even I didn't get it on first read lol

 

and the kronol omg

[Ezen Baklattan]

Be sure to enter the Thenardier contest!

[Sam]

Now for a fun little game for which there will be a prize.Your challenge: Predict the users cast as the Thenardiers. If there is a tie (given how there are two, it is very likely), the first person to post winning predictions gets the prize, which is a mystery! The deadline is next Thursday at noon.My one hint is that Thenardier is a male, but Madam Thenardier is a female.

Do we post the predictions here or PM you?

[Ezen Baklattan]

Do we post the predictions here or PM you?

You can PM me.

[Ezen Baklattan]

LES SYMPATHIQUES RETURNS!

 

AUGUST 1ST, 2014!

[Ezen Baklattan]

Sorry to do this, but I'm delaying Part 4 until the Forum Games ends. I promise that things will get good, though!

[Mango]

Why have I not seen this until just now? I just read all of this back to back and its phenomenal. Awesome job, Spaghetti.

[Ezen Baklattan]

This is finally continuing on Friday. Pinkie promise!

[Ezen Baklattan]

Also, I'm totally not casting new members who haven't read all of this just to get more likes. That would be cheating!

 

 

[MrPink]

This is finally continuing on Friday. Pinkie promise!

 

I know all about Pinkie promises, so you better be a man of your word

[Ezen Baklattan]

I know all about Pinkie promises, so you better be a man of your word

Part 4 is coming tonight at 9:30pm ET!

[Sam]

I totally forgot about the contest :(Oh well, surprise me Spaghetti.

[Ezen Baklattan]

I totally forgot about the contest :(Oh well, surprise me Spaghetti.

[Ezen Baklattan]

I apologize profusely for all of the delays, but it is finally here. I give you, of the epic saga,
 
PART 4
 
VALBLANK HAS ESCAPED THE CLUTCHES OF TELEVERT, FOR NOW, AT LEAST. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FORUMS IS A PLACE QUITE UNLIKE THE REST. 
 
http://youtu.be/Wa5Lur6IvCw
 
In a smaller part of town, outside of the general bustle of the area, we see a young girl cleaning up some spam on the floor, Pinkette. As a child, she has a bright imagination, but wants to live in a better place aside from this poor lifestyle, singing about her wishes.
 
PINKETTE: There is a Convo on a Cloud, / I like to post there at night time, / No flaming wars or selfish crime, / Not in my Convo on a Cloud.
 
Christopher Nolan, dressed in white, / Carries me like Simba, happy at night, / He’s nice, he’s hot, like no other dweller, / He says, “Pinkette, you’ll love Interstellar.”
 
I know a place where no one’s banned, / I know a place where all get likes, / Giving no likes is not allowed, / Not in my Convo on a Cloud.
 
*Suddenly, a woman puts her hand on Pinkette. It is her adopted mother, Madame Sam Thenard1re.*
 
SAM THENARD1ER: Now look who’s here, the small Nolanite herself! / Pretending once again, that Marvel’s awful, / Better not catch you watching, / The Dark Knight Rises twice! / I’m struggling in this household, / Best I don’t make you pay the price!
*Pinkette, feeling threatened, gets back to removing some of the spam.*
Now take that mouse, / My little madamouiselle, / And go to fetch some likes from Mike Bay’s hell!
*Pinkette becomes nervous. Not the Transformers 4 discussion thread!*
I should have never added you on Facebook, / The stupid things that we do, / Say “Nolan” once more and you’ll be back off this board!
 
*The Thenard1er’s biological daughter, aDIPonine, comes in, and Sam gives her a great deal of attention and love.*
Oh sweet Adiponine you look so very well in that cute Santa hat! / There are sweet little girls who know to love Jolie and know how to make posts, thank Whedon for that!
*Sam then looks to Pinkette, becoming much more hostile.*
Still there Pinkette?! / John Legend can’t save you now! / Now go fetch those stupid likes, / From freaks who’re having a cow!
PINKETTE: Please do not send me out alone, / Be called a ---- on my own
SAM THENARD1ER: Now shut your face! / And don’t be so phony! / Or I’ll show you my slash fics! / Of sweet Steve and Tony!
 

 
*Sam walks over to her husband, Coolio, who is drunk and passed out.*
SAM THENARD1ER: Wakey wakey, It’s opening time.
COOLIO THENARD1ER: *Still drowsy* Well, look at this, / The Classic Convo’s now here, / My dirty jokes, / are now more primed to spread cheer, / My sons of like whores, / practicing those lovely ol’ sins. / Keep the likes all coming in, / They come through my boards, / and they’ll never get bored.
 
*Coolio opens shop in the club, the Classic Conversational Parlour, as several users come pouring in.*
COOLIO: Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down, / See the bus stories sweepin’ the town! / As for the rest, all of them fools, / Posting and trolling, acting like tools. / Seldom, do you see, / Clever men like me, / A gent of comedy, / Who’s content to be...
 
Master of the posts, Handing out the charm, / Anything you wanna say, just raise your arm! / Got an anecdote, or a saucy pick, / Even photo shopped pictures of Fassbender’s dick! / Glad to give a friend some humor, I suspect you’ll do the same for me. / Anything can happen, no need, to keep it all at G!
 
*As he sings, he invites a man dress as Santa, Panda Claus, inside, pushing off a child from his lap*
 
Master of the posts, Watcher of the sea, / Just wait till you see fights from Marvel and DC! / Know just what to say, Catch ‘em all off guard, / If you wanna win, well, then, it’s not too hard! / And, if you’re feeling desperate, give a little song and dance, / Every day is different, roll the die and then you’ll take a chance.
 
CCP PATRONS: Master of the posts, quick to get the news, / Stuck here after all the mess from Weekend blues,
SPOTTSWOODE:  Off topic all the time, never ever rote, / Even though he’s baiting us for every vote!
COOLIO: Everybody’s profile friend, / Everybody’s go to guy,
HOLCS: Even catch some bodies, so sexy, / You’re gonna want to cry!
CCP PATRONS: Posts beyond compare, posts beyond belief, / Gotta keep some quite to avoid the chief, / Hide the pseudo-porn, keep out the piracy, / Otherwise it can be what you want to be!
COOLIO: All posters are more than welcome,  but the chat room is occupied, / Reasonable charges, plus a bit of extra on the side.
*We see Panda Claus sexting someone in the chat room*
COOLIO: Take a look at this, old machine I made, / A perfect rant creator for any old spade. / Give it just a run, sure to be a hit. / Likes will come out flying towards you bit by bit! / When it comes to building genius, / I like to think that I’m the best. / So give me your full quota, and forget about all of the rest!
 
*Meanwhile, Sam is cleaning up a table, gossiping with her friends.*
SAM: I used to dream, that I’d be the bell of the ball, / But God Almighty, what’s happened to it all?
 
Master of the posts, what a bunch of crap, / Anyone around can give a nice tap, / Cunning little brain, think’s that he’s so great, / Better than the Turtle and Maleficent hate! / RTH’s nasty playbook, / Landed me an awful card, / I want to make my worth, but everyone is trying way too hard!
 
*Everyobe begins posting and laughing wildly*
 
PATRONS (SAM): Master of the posts, (Master and a half) / Philosopher, philanthropist, (Don’t make me laugh!) / Servant to the newbs, / Butler to the top, (Hypocrite and fool, what a total flop!) / Everybody bless the landlord! He’s the one who has the most! / Everybody raise a glass! / Raise it up the Master’s ass! / Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the posts!

*As the celebrations continue, we then see Pinkette fetching a bucket of bells from a lowly part of town. Suddenly, she sees Blank Valblank walking down the street. He is walking around with headphones on, dancing to “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone.*
 

 
VALBLANK: Hush now, Do not be afraid of me, / Don’t cry, show me child, what fandoms you have, / Tell me, what is your name?
PINKETTE: I’m called Pinkette, and I thought I shouldn’t talk to strang--
 
*Valblank hoists up Pinkette before she can finish speaking, adding her as a forum friend. Is this kidnapping? I don’t know. Let’s see where this goes. They go back to the Classic Convernation Parlour. How he know to go there, I’m not sure.*
 
VALBLANK: I found her wandering in the archives, / This little child, called foul words in the shadows, / But I am here to help Pinkette, / And I will give you as many likes as proper. / I will pay what I must pay, / to take Pinkette away, / Holtine had made her wish, / There is a promise yet to take, / I could not give her the right dish / I was an extra fool back then, / Now her mother’s with RTH, / Holtine can hang with this Asgard boy, / And I speak here with her avatar, / And I stand in her profile. / And from this day and evermore.
 
SAM: Let me take your coat, M’sieur,
VALBLANK: Pinkette shall live under my care,
COOLIO: Who even are you?
VALBLANK: I couldn’t forget my vow.
COOLIO: Take a gif,
SAM: Have some likes,
VALBLANK: Pinkette shall have a father now,
COOLIO: What to do? What to say? / Why will you take our like getter away? / Yeah, we treat her like dirt, but she never gets hurt, / How can we speak of debt on her? / Let us not haggle for Tele Jr! / ...shit, I mean Pinkette! / Dear Holtine, gone to rest, / But those fake TV gifs are forming a pest. / Shared our posts. Shared each like. / Treated her perfectly, that sweet little tyke. / Like our own M’sieur!
VALBLANK: Your feelings do you credit, sir, / And I’ll ease the parting blow. *Blank goes into the archives and likes a ton of Coolio and Sam’s posts.* Let us not talk of bargains or bones or greed, / Now, may I say, we are agreed?
SAM: That would be quite well, if she hadn’t felt like hell, / Little dear, cost us much, / Giving her support as well, and such, / I don’t even like her, to be blunt, / But na-na-na-poo-poo, you can go punk.
THENARD1ERS: One thing, one small concern / There are those who always discern. / No offence, look at yourself, / Is your sinister past really back on the shelf?
VALJEAN: No more words, here’s your good deal, / Fifteen hundred likes to help me feel, / Come, Pinkette, say goodbye, / You’re better off with this generous guy, / *whispering* Frankly, my dear, they’re full of shit. / They sound like total hypocrites!
COOLIO: I heard that! *Valjean and Pinkette run away*
VALBLANK: Come, Pinkette, come close to me, / Anything you want to say, you can be, / Where I go, it will be true.
PINKETTE: Will there be corn and brrrmmms to see?
VALBLANK: Yes, Pinkette, all of it’s true. / There might even be Corona waiting for you!
*They walk away into the night. Things are looking to get much better.*

Edited October 19, 2014 by Spaghetti

[MrPink]

 

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