SURVIVOR MUSHROOM KINGDOM Episode Six: "Kamek's Library"

SLAM! · May 16, 2023

@Agafin @Asyulus @Cap @DAJK @The Dark Alfred @elcaballero @Ethan Hunt @Fancyarcher @Goldenhour36 @Jack Sparrow @JJ-8 @Morieris @Rorschach

Disclaimer: Some books selected by production for thematic purposes.

Each tribe sits at their own table.

Kamek: Nya ha ha! Welcome to my library! It's time for you to write book reports! The two tribes with the highest quality book reports will be safe from immunity!

Koopa Troopa assistants pass out pen and paper.

Cap: You have *got* to be kidding me.

Rorschach: Some of us play BOT Survivor to escape from college work, not to do more of it!

Kamek: Too bad! Get to writing!

Cut to the Koopa table.

DAJK: In The Fault in our Stars, a cancer patient falls in love with another cancer patient...

Morieris: And in Cirque du Freak, a boy becomes a vampire's assistant... Ugh! My brain is fried!

The Dark Alfred: My Into the Wild essay isn't coming out, man! I wish I could just run away and live in a van!

Goldenhour36: Here, I bought five red mushrooms, one for each of us.

(Goldenhour36 gives one mushroom to each tribe member...

...but Morieris shakes her head.)

Goldenhour36: Come on. It'll help you write.

Morieris: I'm sure Rosalina would like a mushroom.

Goldenhour36: Huh?

DAJK: Come on, Morieris. Just take it for the good of the tribe.

(Morieris reluctantly takes the mushroom.)

The Dark Alfred: Golden. What's yours about, man?

Goldenhour36: Oh, uh, it's on Thirty-One Nil: On the Road with Football's Outsiders, and it's about the 2014 World Cup game between Afghanistan and Palestine.

The Dark Alfred: Groovy.

(Rorschach scribbles madly.)

DAJK: What are you writing, Rory?

Rorschach: (adjusts glasses while scribbling) The conch isn't just a shell! It's a symbol of power!

DAJK: Oh yeah, Lord of the Flies.

Cut to the Goomba table.

JJ-8: (pounds table) All right! We need to write the best essays possible or we might go to tribal council again!

Ethan Hunt: I don't think Kamek knows that A Clockwork Orange was based on a book. I'll write about that. It'll knock his little nap hat off.

JJ-8: As for me, I chose The Selective Book of Hearing!

Ethan Hunt: Never heard of it.

JJ-8: What about you guys?

Agafin: Oryx and Crake.

Jack Sparrow: Treasure Island!

JJ-8: Good choices all around! Let's give it our all, folks!

Ethan Hunt: Hey—I'm supposed to be the leader here.

JJ-8: Are you?

(Ethan Hunt looks at his tribe-mates. He gulps!)

Cut to the Pokey table.

Fancyarcher: Let me get this straight. You chose a comic book for your book report?

Asyulus: Not just any comic book. It's an issue of the John Wick comic series!

Cap: Ah. You're a John Wick fan, I bet.

Asyulus: Have you seen those movies? Look at those stunts! Look at the action! Look at that style!

(Asyulus keeps on gushing about John Wick.)

elcaballero: I went with The Great Gatsby. You can never go wrong with a classic.

Fancyarcher: That's a pretty fancy choice. But you know what's even fancier? The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

Cap: Welp. This essay on Howard's End won't write itself.

???: Bark Bark!

(Cap looks over and sees a Chain Chomp bouncing around nearby.)

Cap: Um. Shush. We're in a library.

elcaballero: Did you just shush a Chain Chomp?!

Chain Chomp: Bark Bark!

(Chain Chomp lunges at the table and eats Cap's pen and paper!)

Asyulus: The dog literally ate her homework!

elcaballero: Note to self—never shush a Chain Chomp.

(Cap massages a headache as she frowns.)

Cut back to Agafin and Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Did you know that Treasure Planet was based on Treasure Island?!

Agafin: I'm, um, trying to write.

Jack Sparrow: Well, the robot's based on the guy on the island who dreams of cheese!

Agafin: Jack...

Jack Sparrow: But they kept Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver as the names of the characters! Isn't that fascinating?!

Agafin: 😣😣😣😣

****

SLAM!: Let's see how you did!

THE KOOPA SQUAD

Spoiler

Rorschach - (81.07% + 3%) - 84.07%

DAJK - (80.31% + 3%) - 83.31%

The Dark Alfred - (78.87% + 3%) - 81.87%

Goldenhour36 - (68.49% + 3%) - 71.49%

Morieris - (47.39% + 3%) - 50.39%

Tribe Average - 74.22%

Morieris: We're on top three weeks in a row!

Rorschach: Thanks for the mushrooms, Goldenhour36.

Goldenhour36 blushes, acts coy.

DAJK: ...

The Dark Alfred: Hey, that was my line, Rory!

THE GOOMBA SQUAD

Spoiler

Ethan Hunt - 78.22% (individual immunity winner)

JJ-8 - 75.20%

Agafin - 0% (dns)

Jack Sparrow - 0% (dns)

Tribe Average - 38.36%

JJ-8: Why didn't you turn in your reports?!

Agafin: So. Much. Treasure. Island. Rambling.

Jack Sparrow: Looks like I'm swabbing the poopdeck!

Ethan Hunt: :bash:

THE POKEY SQUAD

Spoiler

Fancyarcher - 87.84%

Asyulus - 83.88%

elcaballero - 64.31%

Cap - 0% (dns)

Tribe Average - 59.01%

Cap: If that chain chomp didn't eat my report, we might've had a shot at 1st place...

elcaballero: I'm just glad it didn't eat you!

Asyulus: Don't worry, Cap. We're still all going to the merge!

Cap: Well, with SLAM!'s twists, you better expect the unexpected.

Fancyarcher: At least one thing's expected: your jealousy of my winning streak!

Cap: Aim your arrows somewhere else, Fancy! 😠

SLAM!: Looks like The Goomba Squad is heading to tribal council for the third straight week in a row! It'll be the last tribal council before the mergatory event, so good luck!

If you forgot to submit this week, please remember that the first time not submitting weekend predictions is a freebie, while the second time is an automatic elimination as per the rules!

Here's the final kart—

KART UNLOCKED

The Magikruiser

****

SLAM!: Normally, twist information would be in the second post, not the first. But because this twist is really important and complex, and because I'm typing this post in advance, I'm going to include the twist information here. Please read thoroughly. Here it comes:

MERGATORY EVENT:

FAST KART RACE

You will no longer play in the Koopa, Goomba, and Pokey squads after this Wednesday's tribal. But be wary, because for one week only, one week before the merge, you'll be playing in something similar.

There are eight selectable karts. Some, you can access. Others, you cannot access. The karts include the B-Dasher, Flame Flyer, Pipe Frame, Wild Wiggler, Koopa Clown, Bumble V, The Shooting Star, and The Magikruiser.

For the next weekend challenge...

In addition to submitting weekend predictions...

You must select your kart!

Everyone will pick a kart, and they will join that kart's "mini-tribe." I call the kart a "mini-tribe" because everyone who picks the same kart will have their total scores combined into one average. So let's say three players pick the B-Dasher. Those three players will have their totals scores combined into a B-Dasher score, just like how the Koopa Squad has their scores combined into an average.

Choose your kart wisely, because the three highest-scoring karts (first, second, and third place) will earn immunity for everyone who picked those karts. If your kart's total score earns one of those "podium" placements, then you will not have to attend tribal council—that means you can neither vote, nor be voted out. You must attend tribal council if your kart's total score earns any placement between 4th and 8th. And no one going into this tribal will have individual immunity earned from the weekend challenge, though Tuesday immunity is still up for grabs.

Don't think about piling a whole bunch of players into one kart, because each kart is built to hold a maximum of three players. If more than three players pick the same kart, then all of those players are in danger of disqualification depending on the circumstances of players' choices. I want to be forgiving in case one kart has four players by accident or something, but please do everything in your power to make sure the kart you want gets picked by three players or less, so that you can avoid disqualification.

To remind you of which karts you are eligible to select, I have prepared two lists, one that lists eligibility by kart, and another with eligibility by player. Both lists provide the same information, but you might appreciate the different lists to help you strategize your decisions on which kart you (and/or your closest allies) will select for "Fast Kart Race."

ELIGIBILITY BY KART

Spoiler

B-DASHER

Everyone.

FLAME FLYER

Everyone.

PIPE FRAME

Cap, DAJK, The Dark Alfred, Ethan Hunt, Fancyarcher, Jack Sparrow, Morieris, and Rorschach.

WILD WIGGLER

Agafin, Asyulus, Goldenhour36, and JJ-8.

KOOPA CLOWN

Everyone.

BUMBLE V

Everyone but Goldenhour36.

SHOOTING STAR

Only Goldenhour36.

MAGIKRUISER

Everyone.

ELIGIBILITY BY PLAYER

Spoiler

Agafin

B-Dasher, Flamer Flyer, Wild Wiggler, Koopa Clown, Bumble V, and Magikruiser.

Asyulus

B-Dasher, Flamer Flyer, Wild Wiggler, Koopa Clown, Bumble V, and Magikruiser.

Cap