CAYOM Sixth Annual Academy Awards!

[riczhang]

Yayayay! Thanks guys. My first screenplay winner ever. And good for Cardinal. Fully deserved. Kinda hoped that the second tie would've been Chuck Norris though. I had these two in my top 2 I believe.

[Blankments]

Kermit: Next up, we’ve got our last Muppet presenter, who is conveniently the latest member of the Muppets. We also have a man who ditched us. *laughter* Please welcome Jason Segel and Walter! *applause*

 

Walter: Wow, we’re presenting the Oscars! Can you believe it, Jason?

 

Jason Segel: Sure thing.

 

Walter: Hey, Jason?

 

Jason Segel: Yeah, Walter?

 

Walter: Can you write in a role for me in Avenue Q 2? *laughter*

 

Jason Segel: ...No, Walter. *laughter*

 

Walter: Oh, come on! I’d be a great addition to the ensemble.

 

Jason Segel: That may be true, but just because you’re a great addition to the ensemble doesn’t mean you’d make the best ensemble.

 

Walter: That... is a moot point. *laughter*

 

Jason Segel: Here are the nominees for Best Ensemble:

 

451

 

THE CARDINAL IN THE KREMLIN

 

CAREFUL LAID PLANS

 

CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. GIANT SPIDERS

 

SOCIETY

 

And the winner is...

 

CAREFUL LAID PLANS!

 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Wow, it’s great to see you guys really liked us!

 

Leonardo DiCaprio: Two Oscars in one night isn’t that bad. *laughter*

 

Rooney Mara: Thank you Joel and Ethan for your great direction.

 

James Badge Dale: Without it, we wouldn’t have had a chance to be the Best Ensemble.

 

Jeremy Irvine: *smiles*

 

John Goodman: ... I wanted Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson to win again. *huge laughter*

 

All: Thank you, Academy!

[riczhang]

Thanks! (I was hoping for Chuck Norris here though. )

[riczhang]

And Congrats to Numbers, Creator, and ChD who won Oscars when I was away.

[The Creator]

Here. Anyways, lots of variety. My only comment: It seems any time there's a very well received (like top 5 on the CC) blockbuster film, a stigma comes against it at the Oscars for no reasons...or maybe it's just with my films. It happened to Genesis, then Nirvana, then Dawn, and now Avarice.

 

All these rookies make me a bit nervous for Obliteration. I don't know if they can handle its epicness.

[The Dark Alfred]

Careful sweeps.

[Blankments]

Kermit: Now, we reach the heavy hitters. The next presenter is a man I want to direct the next Muppet movie. Or the next Star Wars movie. *laughter* Please welcome last year’s winner for Best Director, Wes Anderson! *applause*

 

Wes Anderson: Directing is a pretty fun thing to do. I was happy I won last year, so let’s see who I can make happy this year. Here are the nominees for Best Director:

 

JOEL COEN and ETHAN COEN for CAREFUL LAID PLANS

 

ALFONSO CUARON for 451

 

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN for EXPEDECADE

 

STEVEN SODERBERGH for CYBER

 

STEVEN SPIELBERG for AVARICE

 

And the winner is... Steven- I’m just messing with you. *laughter* I just wanted to see them both get excited. *laughter; he opens the envelope* The actual winner is...

 

JOEL AND ETHAN COEN FOR CAREFUL LAID PLANS!

 

Joel Coen: Wow, we’re up here for a third time!

 

Ethan Coen: You guys must really like us. *laughter*

 

Joel Coen: Who do we have left to thank?

 

Ethan Coen: Well, our actors that just thanked us for Ensemble could be nice.

 

Joel Coen: Oh, yeah! Thanks for being the great actors you are.

 

Ethan Coen: I’ll also take this time to thank my daughter, Dusty, and my son, Buster. I love you two.

 

Joel Coen: I’d also like to tell my son, Pedro, that I love him too.

 

Ethan Coen: Thanks again everybody! *applause*

[The Creator]

Now I'll be disappointed if Careful Laid Plans wins just because I'm tired of seeing the film that wins Director also win Picture. It's odd.

[Blankments]

Kermit: Our next presenter has won FOUR Academy Awards for Best Actor. That’s a record. He’s also a pretty good dancer. *laughter* Please welcome Daniel Day-Lewis! *applause*

 

Daniel Day-Lewis: Thank you all for that nice applause. It’s often hard to find good roles for women, but this year, we had an... abundance of them. *laughter* Despite how weak the field was this year, all five of these actresses gave fantastic performances and deserve to be here tonight. *applause* Here are the nominees for Best Actress:

 

SAMANTHA BARKS as ELPHALBA, the Wicked Witch of the West, in WICKED

 

EMILY BLUNT as GLINDA, the Good Witch of the North and South, in WICKED

 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE as EMILY, a girl who has an unexpected pregnancy and must decide how she will live her life, in SOCIETY

 

MICHELLE MONAGHAN as REBECCA and JANE, two people who an immortal man falls in love with, in HIGH LIFE

 

NAOMI WATTS as LINDA HUTCHINS, a federal agent dealing with Chicago’s criminal empire and a murderer, in 24 HOURS

 

And the winner is...

 

NAOMI WATTS for 24 HOURS!

 

*standing ovation as she heads to the stage*

 

Naomi Watts: Wow. Thank you. Just... thank you. I can’t believe this. Well, I’d like to thank Ben for his fantastic direction and a really good script that was had a tough but layered female lead. Of course, that thanks goes to Chris too. I’d like to also thank Liev and my kids for always supporting their wife or mother. Finally, I’d like to thank Nicole Kidman, for helping first break into Hollywood. Thanks!

Edited March 11, 2013 by Blankments Into Darkness

[4815162342]

Watts wins!!!!

 

YES!!!!!

[Hiccup]

NO!

[ChD]

The Best Actress category wasn't really...strong this year.

Edited March 11, 2013 by ChFloppit

[4815162342]

NO!

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7Cig84suHM

[riczhang]

Lovely, Nanny finally wins something. Very well deserved.

[Blankments]

Kermit: Our next presenter is an actress who is just amazing. She’s been a superhero along with many other interesting roles. Please welcome Scarlett Johansson! *applause*

 

Scarlett Johansson: This year was a great year for male leads. Several great actors could’ve been nominated, but these five are the cream of the crop. Here are the nominees for Best Actor:

 

BRADLEY COOPER as JONATHAN, a man who lets his best friend start living with him despite his better judgment, in BEST FRIENDS

 

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT as ALBERT CUNNINGHAM, a man who gets caught in the business of bootlegging, in CAREFUL LAID PLANS

 

RYAN GOSLING as CHRISTIAN, a man who can’t die and finds love, in HIGH LIFE

 

NICHOLAS HOULT as THOMAS PELT, a college student who gets caught up in the hacktivism movement, in CYBER

 

ANTON YELCHIN as JAMES KRESTOVICH, a young adult who murders a young woman for reasons initially unclear, in 24 HOURS

 

And the winner is... Wow, Oscar history tonight.

 

IT’S ANOTHER TIE!

 

The first Oscar goes to...

 

RYAN GOSLING for HIGH LIFE!

 

Ryan Gosling: Wow, I honestly can’t believe this. Well, I’d like to thank Spike for being one of the best directors I’ve ever worked with. I’d also like to thank Michelle for being a great scene partner. Working on High Life was one of the best experiences of my career, and I’d just like to thank the Academy for this Award too. Thank you. *applause*

 

Scarlett Johansson: The second Oscar goes to...

 

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT for CAREFUL LAID PLANS!

 

*standing ovation as he heads to the stage*

 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Well... Fourth time’s the charm. *laughter* Thank you Ethan and Joel for giving the privilege to play Albert Cunningham. I’m glad I made you proud. I’d like to thank the rest of the ensemble of the film too, but you should all know who that is. I mean, they were just on stage. *laughter* I’d also like to thank my good friend, Rian Johnson, who helped me graduated from child stardom. I’m so happy I’m no longer the Jewish kid from Third Rock From the Sun. *laughter* Thank you all. *standing ovation again*

 

[The Creator]

The Best Actress category wasn't really...strong this year.

 

Agreed. Now actor on the other hand...there were some good ones not even nominated.

 

Oh and, I stand by who should have won Supporting Actor: not DiCaprio, not James Badge Dale...not even Gary Oldman. Eric Bana

[The Creator]

Gosling...that's a surprise.

[Ezen Baklattan]

[ChD]

Only Best Picture left... Can't say it'll be a surprise.

[The Creator]

And Cardinal in the Kremlin wins...