Monday Actuals: Apes - 8.2M (Please keep the thread SFW!) | Actuals on p1 and p35

[baumer]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.

 

A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:

 

"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."

 

After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."

 

To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."

 

Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."

 

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

[a2k]

9 A.M. PST and still no Monday #'s outside of RTH? Dang...

 

the bo cycle is irregular

[Ethan Hunt]

That could be the conflict. 

Thor: How am I supposed to stop Loki, I'm on my danm period. 

[All about Eve - old]

PM me if you like.

I've sent you a message, Tele.

[CJohn]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.

 

A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:

 

"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."

 

After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."

 

To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."

 

Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."

 

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

You are a gentleman sir. 

[K1stpierre]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work. A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this: "Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free." After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge." To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car." Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight." Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

that is so awkward and hilarious at the same time! What a gentleman you are baumer

[baumer]

You are a gentleman sir. 

 

I'm a gentleman for refusing a blowjob?  

[RichWS]

Thor: How am I supposed to stop Loki, I'm on my danm period.

Glad you're running with this one. It's a winner for sure. Edited July 15, 2014 by RichWS

[Mango]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away. She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me. I have no money and I just need to get downtown. I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

Was she hot?

[Ash Skywalker]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.

 

A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:

 

"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."

 

After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."

 

To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."

 

Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."

 

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

hahaha...     

Edited July 15, 2014 by Ash

[Ethan Hunt]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.

 

A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:

 

"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."

 

After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."

 

To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."

 

Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."

 

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

       

[baumer]

I don't understand the gentleman part.  Why do you two say that?

[baumer]

Was she hot?

 

Not hot, not ugly.

[CJohn]

I don't understand the gentleman part.  Why do you two say that?

You paid the ride AND refused a blowjob. Gentleman. Most man wouldn't do that. 

[grim22]

the bo cycle is irregular

 

The BO cycle?

 

[baumer]

You paid the ride AND refused a blowjob. Gentleman. Most man wouldn't do that. 

 

I drive the bus.  That's my new job...lol....sorry I guess I didn't make that part clear.

[Mango]

Not hot, not ugly.

If it was for free I probably would have taken it then.

[reddevil18]

Since we are just posting random shit, here's a funny story from last night at work.

 

A woman gets on the bus last night and looks sketchy right away.  She comes up to me, basically whispers in my ear and says this:

 

"Look, I just performed a trick (hooker speak for sex) and the fucker didn't pay me.  I have no money and I just need to get downtown.  I'll give you a blowjob if you let me ride for free."

 

After stifling a laugh, I replied, "No, that's okay, I'll pass on the offer but I'll get you where you need to go, free of charge."

 

To which she replied, "It doesn't have to be here and now ( the bus was half full of people), we can meet when you get off work and I can do it in your car."

 

Now I'm really having a hard time holding in my laughter, but I manage to say, "It's fine, just sit down, relax and the bus ride is free of charge tonight."

 

Funniest thing that has happened to me so far in my first three weeks.

Someone offered me a job driving a bus in London when I got here a month ago. I was like "Are you fucking insane? I'd wreck the shit out of the bus, parked cars, cyclists and generally any living thing crossing my path". Now, you story has me rethinking all that...It might just be worth it.

Edited July 15, 2014 by reddevil18

[K1stpierre]

Thor: How am I supposed to stop Loki, I'm on my danm period.

:rofl:Perhaps it can be like a curse. When she's on her period is in fact when she's most dangerous. Her strength and power are twice as strong, at the cost of her being slightly evil due to her bitchy nature. In such a blood frenzy state, she could or might attack those on the good side. It could be at these times, Loki might actually be all, "Oh shit, it's Thor's time of the month....imma scram!"

[CJohn]

The BO cycle?

 

I love to hate this dude. And since we are getting to this part of the derailment...