The Expendables 3 (2014)

[baumer]

I don't even know what that means Matt, but deep down inside, all of us, except perhaps you, are all nerds.  IMO

[Gopher]

I'll probably never see EXPENDABLES 3, but I'll never not read a letter to Sly from Baumer. 

[Crusader]

As someone born in 88 who grew up in 90's in 'special circumstances' movies were escape from the mostly ugly upbringing and since I was a kid my preferences weren't for Kubrick or Tarkowski yet

 

They were for action heroes like Sly,Arnie, Van Damme, Gibson, Ford etc etc and lets face it these guys were an ERA 

 

I have acquired a much finer taste in movies since, obviously , but these guys in this movie are all my childhood heroes and to see such a flat-out terrible film they are all in really breaks my heart ... as a whole this 'saga' is a wasted opportunity Peter Jackson can't even come close to with his Hobbit trilogy

 

baumer's homo-erotic letter is completely understandable to me its a statement from a true fan

[baumer]

I don't get the homo erotic stuff.  It's a letter saying that he could have done so much more with the series.

[Crusader]

I don't get the homo erotic stuff.  It's a letter saying that he could have done so much more with the series.

 

Its just a joke

[mattmav45]

I don't even know what that means Matt, but deep down inside, all of us, except perhaps you, are all nerds.  IMO

 

The wife and I have started Redbox Wednesdays and Blu-Ray Thursdays (we pick up a new Blu-Ray).

 

The writing should be on the wall, but infer from this what you will. 

 

IMO.

[75Live]

I don't know if it was my private screening crowd which was only about 15 people (hence the private part ), but I had a really good time watching the movie.

 

I thought Banderas was the highlight, then Snipes and Gibson.  Most of the younger team was not that good, but I get why there were there for the story.  

 

My only issue really is that the movie looked pieced together in some places just to get some people a few minutes of time.  It was  probably to work around people's schedules, but I have no confirmation there.

 

Not sure where I would rank it among the movies since this one is more fresh in my mind than the others.

 

But I would give it probably a B+, lowest a B.

 

As a side note, the guy that really loves a few of the cast and is the manager that lets me in, got drunk during the movie, was carrying around Dolph's knife from the movies and proceeded to puke in the trash bag that were holding his beer cans.  So having a drunken idiot may have helped the experience, but it did get annoying as well, so it probably cancelled each other out  

[Vanilla]

^{The biggest problem with this film is the middle. When Sly goes around gathering his younger team is not what you want to see. It takes all the time away from the origninals. Other than that there really isnt much of a diffrence between the last two and this one. The PG-13 rating was not a problem, if anything it took away all of the the awful cgi blood squirts they would do.}

 

^{Banderes and Gibson were both great, and Snipes in prison for tax fraud joke was great as well.}

 

^Overall

 

^6/10

[Punishment]

Debating about watching this in the theaters, maybe I'll catch it during a cheap showing.

[Jay Beezy]

Jet Li was the Chuck Norris of this movie, just had him use a gun without making use of his martial arts.

[Kvikk Lunsj]

I don't get the homo erotic stuff. It's a letter saying that he could have done so much more with the series.

You are going to write a let to Sly? That so cool. I hope he response.

[RobinHood26]

So disappointing, beyond poorly directed. The action is tame and you have no idea what's going on. The Music generic as fuck, and the cinematography was terrible. Just beyond flat and lifeless.

 

Everyone seems to just be showing up for there pay check. The only positives, Snipes who is good and a badass when he gets in the groove. Gibson is great when he gets a chance but like the 2nd they completely under utilize the villain.

 

Banderas though fucking kills it!!!!!!! Steals the show, he is the only one who seems that he wants to be there. He's the only one that gets it, he gets the movie this is trying and needs to be but Stallone seems to be lost.

 

Banderas also is hands down the best at actually delivering a one liner. He is the only one who in my mind nailed it.

 

D+ (68.5)

Edited August 17, 2014 by Jay Hollywood

[vc2002]

Dear Sly,

 

You are a terrific writer. You have made and written some of the best screenplays of my youth and of my adult life. You wrote Rocky, did the screenplays for First Blood, Rambo, Cliffhanger, The Expendables and Homefront. All fantastic films.

 

When you made The Expendables, you thought to bring some of the best action guys around, and put them in one film. You called on your friends and because of this you were able to get Dolph, Mickey, Eric and of course Bruce and Arnold. But more than that, you had an ideal. You let each actor do his thing. Jet and Dolph had terrific battle and then you had Jet and Jason fight it out in an epic battle against Gary Daniels. Then you had Randy fight it out with Austin, after you had an epic battle with him. Then, in perhaps one of the most unselfish moves in the film, you got Terry to toss the bomb when you couldn't. The whole point to this is you let everyone shine. The first film was bad ass because of this.

 

The second film got away from this. You still let Statham do his thing but your battle with Van Damme was poorly executed. And in my opinion, the last battle should not have been with you and him, it should have been with Dolph and Van Damme, for obvious reasons ( I know you know this but to spell it out for you...they were in Universal Soldier together and both are world class martial artists).

 

Then comes the third. You get a dream cast. All your friends are in it and you even manage to get Harrison Ford and Mel Gibson. It's never been done before and it certainly got me interested in the film. But once again, you messed it up. You forgot what made the first so special. It wasn't because all these guys could fire guns, it was because they could kick some serious ass. Dolph and Jet are world class martial artists,Statham and Gibson have played ones in films. You have MMA guys and of course Snipes who is also a real life ass kicker. Then you get Banderas to come in, talk the whole film about how good a killer he is, and then what do you do with all these guys? NOTHING. They just come along for the ride, shoot a few guns and then you fight Gibson for about 15 seconds. WTF!  The story line with the young kids was interesting but again, you did nothing with it.  Why not let Roussey show her stuff?  Why not let Lutz fight someone?  And how about killing a few people?  You did none of this, you just had a bunch of actors fire guns.  

 

You have so many story lines here. You even set it up by saying that you were all getting too old for this stuff. But you just let it go. You should have done what you did in the first. Here is how the end of the third film should have went.

 

The bomb is defused. You find Stonebanks. You guys start to fight. But just like Grammer told you, you can't win this thing. Stonebanks is too good. As you are hiolding your own, but clearly losing, out of the smoke, in a slow motion shot, comes Jet Li, who as we all know was in Lethal Weapon 4 with Mel. The two of you stop fighting. Mel looks at Jet, makes some kind of comment about how short he is. Jet stops, takes his jacket and weapons off. He squares off to fight Gibson and the two of them put on on a martial arts display while you stand aside. Jet eventually destroys him, because, you know, he's a true life bad ass. With Gibson dead, Jet picks you up and helps you to the chopper. As he does, he tells you that now you should pay him more money. The two of you laugh and then you live happily ever after.

 

The Expendables was never all about you. It was about a team. But with the sequels, you took the focus away from the team and made it all about you. Shame on you, Sly. You let me down, big time.

 

And you let your fans down.

 

 

 

[MrPink]

So disappointing, beyond poorly directed. The action is tame and you have no idea what's going on. The Music generic as fuck, and the cinematography was terrible. Just beyond flat and lifeless.

 

Everyone seems to just be showing up for there pay check. The only positives, Snipes who is good and a badass when he gets in the groove. Gibson is great when he gets a chance but like the 2nd they completely under utilize the villain.

 

Banderas though fucking kills it!!!!!!! Steals the show, he is the only one who seems that he wants to be there. He's the only one that gets it, he gets the movie this is trying and needs to be but Stallone seems to be lost.

 

Banderas also is hands down the best at actually delivering a one liner. He is the only one who in my mind nailed it.

 

D+ (68.5)

 

[Deep Wang]

I really didn't like the first two movies, so seeing a bunch of people that did like those two hate on this, it kinda makes me want to see it.

[RobinHood26]

I really didn't like the first two movies, so seeing a bunch of people that did like those two hate on this, it kinda makes me want to see it.

 

I think the first and second are better films. 

[ACCA]

I agree with baumer and jessie for the most part.

 

This was a disappointment compared to the first film. The first film is STILL the best in the series. Not only for the reasons baumer mentioned, but also, because to me, it had the RIGHT mix of action and 80's style humor. The first film, to me, still has the best and most original one-liners. I remember reading somewhere that Stallone feels the first one was too serious, the second one too light-hearted, and that he felt they had hit the right mix with the third one. I disagree completely. The first one was NOT too serious! That's a bunch of bullshit from Stallone. How can you say it's "too serious" after making a film like Rambo 4, which was totally bad ass?

 

The key reason why the first film is still the best, and why so many 80s and 90s action films have become legendary to action fans like us, is that all those films take themselves seriously. They're not trying purposely to be funny. They end up being funny accidentally, yet they still remain bad ass.

 

I can give many examples, but here's one from an 80s classic, Commando, with Schwarzenegger:

 

"Leave anything for us?"

"Just bodies"

 

In this example, Schwarzenegger is not trying to be funny, he's just trying to be bad ass. Yet the line also ends up being funny, as well as being bad ass. I call it accidentally funny, because the main intention of the line is not being funny. Also important is the delivery of the line, which is dead serious, as well as his facial expression while delivering the line.

 

In the same vein, here are a few examples of great one-liners from EX1 (for me, many of the great one-liners were from Lundgren in EX1):

 

"Life's a joke gumchew"

"If you don't want that fu manchu knocked back into the 60s you better keep your gum chewing trap shut and show some respect!"

"Hey, need a facelift pretty boy?"

"My life is difficult, I need more money"

"Get out there. Why me? Because you're smaller"

"Insect"

"What are you wearing, size 3? Bring it happy feet!"

"Size matters"

 

EX1 took itself seriously, and that is why it ended up such a bad ass film, also with some classic one-liners. The problem with EX2 and EX3 is that they make fun of themselves. The sequels don't take themselves seriously enough. EX2 was really bad in terms of making fun of itself, and the actors making fun of themselves. EX3 was only slightly better at this, but still not much of an improvement. The other problem is that EX2 and EX3 were trying way too hard to be funny to the audience, including using re-hashed, overdone one-liners from old 80s films, that just came across as lame. This is in contrast to EX1, which did not use rehashed one-liners, and had some original one-liners.

 

Now I will say that Gibson, Banderas, and Snipes were great in EX3, however that wasn't enough to make a poor film great.

 

In addition, to me EX1 had superior action and cinematography compared to EX2 and EX3. The cinematography in EX2 and EX3 to me looks goofy, and there was too much reliance on CGI in EX3 especially. Adding to what baumer said, EX1 simply had superior fight scenes, and utilized the action stars all effectively. They each had a chance to shine in their own way. In EX2 many of the action stars were woefully underused, and in EX3 a lot of the stars were almost criminally underused.

 

I would score EX3 as a C-, verging on a D.

 

I agree with baumer that Stallone should have directed EX2 and EX3 and kept the same atmosphere as EX1. I also agree that Stallone has let fans down. I have very low expectations for Rambo 5, even though it has an interesting premise. The only way Stallone can even begin to redeem himself in the eyes of fans is if he makes Rambo 5 even more bad ass than Rambo 4, which I seriously doubt will happen.

Edited August 17, 2014 by ACCA

[Deep Wang]

I think the first and second are better films. 

 

Exactly my point!

 

[baumer]

I agree with baumer and jessie for the most part.

 

This was a disappointment compared to the first film. The first film is STILL the best in the series. Not only for the reasons baumer mentioned, but also, because to me, it had the RIGHT mix of action and 80's style humor. The first film, to me, still has the best and most original one-liners. I remember reading somewhere that Stallone feels the first one was too serious, the second one too light-hearted, and that he felt they had hit the right mix with the third one. I disagree completely. The first one was NOT too serious! That's a bunch of bullshit from Stallone. How can you say it's "too serious" after making a film like Rambo 4, which was totally bad ass?

 

The key reason why the first film is still the best, and why so many 80s and 90s action films have become legendary to action fans like us, is that all those films take themselves seriously. They're not trying purposely to be funny. They end up being funny accidentally, yet they still remain bad ass.

 

I can give many examples, but here's one from an 80s classic, Commando, with Schwarzenegger:

 

"Leave anything for us?"

"Just bodies"

 

In this example, Schwarzenegger is not trying to be funny, he's just trying to be bad ass. Yet the line also ends up being funny, as well as being bad ass. I call it accidentally funny, because the main intention of the line is not being funny. Also important is the delivery of the line, which is dead serious, as well as his facial expression while delivering the line.

 

In the same vein, here are a few examples of great one-liners from EX1 (for me, many of the great one-liners were from Lundgren in EX1):

 

"Life's a joke gumchew"

"If you don't want that fu manchu knocked back into the 60s you better keep your gum chewing trap shut and show some respect!"

"Hey, need a facelift pretty boy?"

"My life is difficult, I need more money"

"Get out there. Why me? Because you're smaller"

"Insect"

"What are you wearing, size 3? Bring it happy feet!"

"Size matters"

 

EX1 took itself seriously, and that is why it ended up such a bad ass film, also with some classic one-liners. The problem with EX2 and EX3 is that they make fun of themselves. The sequels don't take themselves seriously enough. EX2 was really bad in terms of making fun of itself, and the actors making fun of themselves. EX3 was only slightly better at this, but still not much of an improvement. The other problem is that EX2 and EX3 were trying way too hard to be funny to the audience, including using re-hashed, overdone one-liners from old 80s films, that just came across as lame. This is in contrast to EX1, which did not use rehashed one-liners, and had some original one-liners.

 

Now I will say that Gibson, Banderas, and Snipes were great in EX3, however that wasn't enough to make a poor film great.

 

In addition, to me EX1 had superior action and cinematography compared to EX2 and EX3. The cinematography in EX2 and EX3 to me looks goofy, and there was too much reliance on CGI in EX3 especially. Adding to what baumer said, EX1 simply had superior fight scenes, and utilized the action stars all effectively. They each had a chance to shine in their own way. In EX2 many of the action stars were woefully underused, and in EX3 a lot of the stars were almost criminally underused.

 

I would score EX3 as a C-, verging on a D.

 

I agree with baumer that Stallone should have directed EX2 and EX3 and kept the same atmosphere as EX1. I also agree that Stallone has let fans down. I have very low expectations for Rambo 5, even though it has an interesting premise. The only way Stallone can even begin to redeem himself in the eyes of fans is if he makes Rambo 5 even more bad ass than Rambo 4, which I seriously doubt will happen.

 

You know, our relationship here started off rocky a couple of years ago, but in the last year we agree on a lot of things.  That's an excellent post and it's articulated beautifully.  Thanks for taking the time to write it.

[Gopher]

If baumer's input means anything, I'm probably gonna like this one a lot.