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Baumer's/Tele's/Chas' 25 films that have brainwashed people into mindless adulation (Tele pg 26)

By baumer, in Archived Lists and Countdowns

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Dementeleus Cinematic Universe

Dementeleus

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10. Woody Allen movies

 

woody-allen-younger.jpg

 

Yep.

 

I've never really gotten into him or them. Even the ones I've liked I don't feel any passion or love towards, and honestly at this point the skeezyness of his personal life has also tainted my opinion.

Edited by Telemachos
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Noctis Global Phenomenon

Noctis

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Christina Vicky Barcelona, and Blue Jasmine are the only Woody Allen films I like.

Funny story. My World History teacher in Boston knows Woody Allen. Her husband is his cousin. Apparently, he was at a funeral and someone referred to him as Woody and he literally stormed off.

Creep.

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Jake Gittes Global Phenomenon

Jake Gittes

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I still want to see Zelig and The Purple Rose of Cairo. Those seem like the most promising of his films I haven't seen yet, but among his most celebrated classics (Annie Hall, Manhattan, Hannah and Her Sisters) I don't have any film I love.

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vc2002 Summer Tentpole

vc2002

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Disney movies, Rocky movies, Woody Allen movies... Tele obviously wants to win this "how many people you pissed" competition so bad that he decided, instead of playing it fairly and just naming one film each time like the title suggested, he will just list as many movies as he can in one post.

Edited by vc2002
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Dementeleus Cinematic Universe

Dementeleus

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Disney movies, Rocky movies, Woody Allen movies... Tele obviously wants to win this "how many people you pissed" competition so bad that he decided, instead of playing it fairly and just naming one film each time like the title suggested, he will just list as many movies as he can in one post.

They're homogenous and generally praised (even just on brand name alone), so why not include them as one? I could list one specific example for each, but that's too narrow.

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baumer Cinematic Universe

baumer

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Id love to see Noctis' list.

It would probably say "every film baumer loves except Perks of Bwing a Wallflower is over rated trash"

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Dementeleus Cinematic Universe

Dementeleus

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9. Transformers 1

 

128089.jpg

 

What can I say? Michael Bay set loose in a Hasbro toy universe is a match made in heaven... or more accurately, hell. Aside from Bay's typical (and constant) "cool" shots, there's little to recommend here -- the human characters quickly conform to typical one-dimensional stereotypes, the robot characters are basically non-existant, the plot exists basically to connect each 90-sec insta-scene to the next one with little concern for a cohesive story, and even the big fights between the Autobots and Decepticons -- something you might think Bay would nail -- end up being a bland mashup of 10,000 gray metal parts flashing around connecting with 10,000 other gray metal parts. This is the movie that signaled the beginning of Bay giving up on any effort at big-boy smart adult action and becoming basically the kid of giant-budgeted toy commercials.

Edited by Telemachos
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The Stingray Global Phenomenon

The Stingray

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9. Transformers 1

 

 

What can I say? Michael Bay set loose in a Hasbro toy universe is a match made in heaven... or more accurately, hell. Aside from Bay's typical (and constant) "cool" shots, there's little to recommend here -- the human characters quickly conform to typical one-dimensional stereotypes, the robot characters are basically non-existant, the plot exists basically to connect each 90-sec insta-scene to the next one with little concern for a cohesive story, and even the big fights between the Autobots and Decepticons -- something you might think Bay would nail -- end up being a bland mashup of 10,000 gray metal parts flashing around connecting with 10,000 other gray metal parts. This is the movie that signaled the beginning of Bay giving up on any effort at big-boy smart adult action and becoming basically the kid of giant-budgeted toy commercials.

:bravo:

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Dementeleus Cinematic Universe

Dementeleus

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9. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

 

pirates_of_the_caribbean.jpg

 

People like to dump on the sequels, but all their problems are evident in the first movie (just buried a bit more under the novelty of the story, since it's the first one). The plot is way too convoluted for its own good, Bloom and Knightley are pretty but their characters are bland as hell, Depp minces around and gets all the one-liners, and the film generally has that typical corporate approach of generic contemporary "period" action: 21st-century sensibilities smashed anachronistically into older times. None of these things are inherently terrible problems, but while the movie has a lot of action, little of it really stands out, so for the most part its noise and fury to little effect. The first sequel actually improves on PEARL: it embraces a Looney Tune-esque attitude toward action (where the first was far too determined to have "realistic" action), it takes its characters in more interesting directions, it has a truly fascinating villain with some meaningful motivation... but the first movie is praised as one of the greatest adventures of its generation. Not even close.

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