Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets | July 21, 2017 | FLOP OF THE YEAR

[Subzero]

4 minutes ago, MrGlass2 said:

Critic Reviews for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

All Critics (3) | Fresh (3) | Rotten (0)

 

100%!

 

excellent start

[That One Girl]

Beauty

 

[CJohn]

2 minutes ago, AJG said:

 

I just really want a completely terrible film to come out this summer. There's been a lot of mediocrity but there's been nothing like the cinematic disasters Suicide Squad and Warcraft. 

 

I need a new Suicide Squad, and I need it to be this.

Bay has you covered.

[GrimFandango]

Just watched the Screen Junkies review, and while they thought the story and lead actors were "meh", they say it is a must-see in 3D experience. Similar to Avatar, but a lot more interesting.

 

This jives with my impressions without having seen it--a visual delight that must be seen on big-screen in 3D, but don't expect much from the story.

 

If this were a just world, this should make Transformers franchise numbers (excepting TF5).

 

I'm going to see it with low expectations for the performance and plot, but with super-juiced curiosity for the visuals and world-building.

[AJG]

Just now, That One Guy said:

 

Have you seen Transformers: The Last Knight?

 

I have. My problem is that experienced it on a pirated copy, stoned out my soul. I thought it was ok. Like, I wouldn't watch it again but I didn't despise what I saw.

[Dementeleus]

Just now, grimfandango said:

Just watched the Screen Junkies review, and while they thought the story and lead actors were "meh", they say it is a must-see in 3D experience. Similar to Avatar, but a lot more interesting.

 

This jives with my impressions without having seen it--a visual delight that must be seen on big-screen in 3D, but don't expect much from the story.

 

If this were a just world, this should make Transformers franchise numbers (excepting TF5).

 

I'm going to see it with low expectations for the performance and plot, but with super-juiced curiosity for the visuals and world-building.

 

The 3D is sensational and Besson knows how to exploit it with his visuals. 

[That One Girl]

Just now, AJG said:

My problem is that experienced it on a pirated copy

 

Then you didn't watch it.

[Arlborn]

10 minutes ago, TalismanRing said:

 

Just read Ehrlich's review and wondering how he came to a B- conclusion - he seems to dislike everything but the visuals and even then it's

 

 

I actually love that quote. In fact there are some great quotes in these reviews, even the relatively mixed ones, that really speak to people like me who value nothing more in a work of art than being able to completely and fully immerse myself in its world and be wowed by its intricacies and small details that aren't readily apparent for people who look at this sort of stuff dismissively from the get go.

 

It's funny, after reading 5 of those reviews from the biggest publications it seems to be like @Telemachos is probably right in that a lot of the elements that I know I'll absolutely adore just fly right over their head or just confuse the crap out of them when it really shouldn't if they had a bit more experience with the fantastic(from the fantasy word rather than a synonym for amazing).

 

 

And yes, I am aware that I'm sounding condescending but I'm really ill right now and I couldn't find words that sounded less condescending to express this point of view of mine, I'm truly sorry.

 

Edited July 11, 2017 by Arlborn

[MrGlass2]

6 Fresh!

One Rotten.

[That One Girl]

Anyway, 75% right now.  In the right range for TOMATO LAW to have an effect.

[a2k]

...

Edited July 11, 2017 by a2knet
not gonna get sucked in the RT watch

[BoxOfficeZ]

The visuals are a work of art. Avatar's are amazing, but Valerian brings it to a whole new level. I normally don't really like 3D, for this movie it was absolutely astounding and well worth admission IMO. 

[AJG]

6 minutes ago, YourMother said:

Suicide Squad was good though.

 

This combination of words make no sense

 

 

Edited July 11, 2017 by AJG

[Arlborn]

6 minutes ago, Scubasteve716 said:

Pretty stupid of them to do reviews this early imo 

 

looks like it is going to get ok reviews but that isn't good enough. Going to take the wind out of its sails/sales - double entendre don't even ask me how

Don't fool yourself; there was never any wind.

 

They did what they had to do to try to build some buzz for it.

[elcaballero]

2 minutes ago, MrGlass2 said:

6 Fresh!

One Rotten.

Todd McCarthy has no chill. 

[Dementeleus]

I will put this in spoiler-tags because while I won't go into plot specifics, there is some conceptual detail about one of the action scenes. Read if you don't mind that sort of thing:

 

It's an infiltration/chase through two dimensional realities that co-exist on top of each other, with devices that are portable portals to be used to instantly put objects (or partial objects) into the other reality.

[TalismanRing]

1 minute ago, Arlborn said:

I actually love that quote. In fact there are some great quotes in these reviews, even the relatively mixed ones, that really speak to people like me who value nothing more in a work of art than being able to completely and fully immerse myself in its world and be wowed by its intricacies and small details that aren't readily apparent for people who look at this sort of stuff dismissively from the get go.

 

It's funny, after reading 5 of those reviews from the biggest publications it seems to be like @Telemachos is probably right in that a lot of the elements that I know I'll absolutely adore just fly right over their head or just confuse the crap out of them when it really shouldn't if they had a bit more experience with the fantastic(from the fantasy word rather than a synonym for amazing).

 

 

And yes, I am aware that I'm sounding condescending but I'm really ill right now and I couldn't find words that sounded less condescending to express this point of view of mine, I'm truly sorry.

 

 

From those I've read that don't like it or are mixed it doesn't read like the details are flying over their heads.  They seem to like the idea of a large wacky universe and enjoyed weird side characters (Rhianna, Hawke) Their biggest beef seem to be a lack of coherent plot, rotten dialogue and dull to terrible leads. 

[Lake]

Film Review: 'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' Creates An Immersive New World https://t.co/f0B0JbunfP via @AwardsCircuit

— Clayton Davis (@AwardsCircuit) July 11, 2017

[redfirebird2008]

That review blurb from McCarthy at THR is pretty brutal. Guess we'll see how some of the other big names in the industry react. 

[That One Girl]

Just now, Telemachos said:

I will put this in spoiler-tags because while I won't go into plot specifics, there is some conceptual detail about one of the action scenes. Read if you don't mind that sort of thing:

 

 

  Hide contents

It's an infiltration/chase through two dimensional realities that co-exist on top of each other, with devices that are portable portals to be used to instantly put objects (or partial objects) into the other reality.

 

 

HOLY SHIT.