G.I. Joe Retaliation (2013)

[baumer]

Discuss

[grim22]

This is a really weird movie to review - I enjoyed it while watching, but a few hours removed from it and my impressions have almost completely changed. I liked the movie, but it is definitely not one I would tell anyone to go out of their way to watch or even one I want to watch again.

 

The plot is basically given away in the trailer, if you have seen the trailer you know what the movie is going to be about. The Joes are attacked and almost completely wiped out by Cobra who have Zartan disguised as the US President commanding them. Meanwhile Storm Shadow (who I could have sworn died in the first movie) breaks Cobra Commander out from prison in a well choreographed action scene. Cobra Commander has developed a new weapon which can wipe out cities and needs the world's governments to do total nuclear disarmament to achieve complete dominance. To show what his new weapon can do he destroys London - and this is never mentioned again. A whole major city has just been wiped off the map and it never ever comes up in the movie - not even a passing mention in the post-climax scenes.

 

Snake Eyes seems to be in a completely different movie till the last half hour. His scenes have nothing to do with the rest of the plot, in fact I think they realized this fact during the 9 month delay and put in a really, really forced voice over by RZA to connect the Snake Eyes scenes with the main plot. But the almost 20 minute long, completely silent fight scene with Snake Eyes and Jinx fighting Storm Shadow, a weird medicine lady and a lot of ninjas is easily the highlight of the movie.

 

The major issue I had was that the movie seemed to be playing in fast forward i.e. no scene got time to develop and breath, it was literally we are in this scene, now we jump to the next scene and the next and the next with very little downtime. Even in the slower scenes, there is no plot as such. The climax brings up way too many questions and plotholes. 

COBRA designs the worst satellites known to man.

 

Also, our heroes start the climax by reaching spots from where they can attack the enemy with way too much ease.

 

The 3 Joes seem to find their way back into the USA pretty easily considering that they were in Pakistan and they look at an airfield and say "We are going home" and the next scene they are home. These guys are being hunted by COBRA, it should have been slightly tougher for them to reach home.

 

The movie is nothing great or extraordinary but definitely an above average action flick. You can pinpoint which scenes were shot, edited down or added in post the year long delay. Channing Tatum and The Rock's relationship has definitely been fleshed out a lot more compared to a year ago (based on pre-screening accounts I had heard at the time). Yes, Duke still dies but we never see his body so it would be easy to get him back if they want to.

 

The Rock is the hero of the movie and acts well. Adrienne Palicki is good, she has the second most important role and looks amazing in a red dress she wears at one point in the movie. She also kicks ass pretty well. DJ Cotrona is wasted - he seems like he is important seeing how he is only one of 3 Joes to survive the ambush at the start but he completely disappears from the movie and doesn't even have any character moments in the whole movie. Bruce Willis is an extended cameo.

 

Overall, it is a movie of the moment - you will like it while watching it but it isn't something to watch again and again. Better than "Rise of Cobra" for sure.

Edited March 27, 2013 by grim22

[kayumanggi]

Good to know it's better than the first.

[RobinHood26]

-

Edited August 27, 2018 by Jay Hollywood

[Blankments]

Absolutely terrible film just like the first. Absolutely hilarious film just like the first. Incredibly enjoyable cheese mostly, I enjoyed it. It's technically worst than the original, but I think it's better at the unintentional hilarity.

 

C

Edited September 1, 2013 by Blankments

[baumer]

I dont even know wtf I saw tonight. This is one of the dumbest action movirs Ive ever seen. Ad it was really loud and and completely senseless. 5/10

[Gopher]

Funny, that's what I thought of Olympus Has Fallen.

Edited March 29, 2013 by Gopher

[Goffe]

This is a really weird movie to review - I enjoyed it while watching, but a few hours removed from it and my impressions have almost completely changed. I liked the movie, but it is definitely not one I would tell anyone to go out of their way to watch or even one I want to watch again.

my thoughts

I liked it more than the first, but somehow the movie was more forgettable 

B-

6.5/10

Edited March 29, 2013 by GoffeSteel

[Crusader]

Funny, that's what I thought of White House Down. 

 

You saw White House Down ?????? 

 

Do tell please 

[Gopher]

Oh crap, I meant Olympus Has Fallen. Didn't take long for me to mix those up.

[CloneWars]

This is what a G.I. Joe film should be. Mindless action. No real plot just like the cartoon. A million times better than the first Joe film. Still crap, but a fun ride nonetheless. The only thing I really wanted was to show the world how the President was an imposter and he was a prisoner the entire time. Also, that could help tie into the whole London thing a little more. 

[Impact]

GI Joe 2

2PM about 90% full. (Very diverse age range also)

 

Trailers:

 

Fast 6: Talking.

World War Z: Looks cheesy and they really have overdone the zombie genre. Laughs at the title...does not look good for this.

Red 2: Looks fun, tons of laughs and talking.

Star Trek 2: Looks good, some talking.

White House Down: Silence. Heard some whispers though.

Wolvierine 2: Looks dark and good.

 

Movie: Loads of fun. Really enjoyed The Rock in this. The audience really enjoyed this also.

 

B+

[Plain Old Tele]

It's pretty terrible, and not even in the right way. The 10 minutes of the ninjas fighting/rappelling was just the sort of demented idiocy the whole movie needed. Instead, it's just a confused mess of boring cliches and surprisingly bad generic action scenes. It even fails at being a good commercial for GI Joe toys.

[Robertron]

It's alright. Nothing spectacular but I did enjoy it.A solid 6/10 and I personally don't think it was better than the first.

[baumer]

Theres nothing solid about a 6/10

[75Live]

I thought it was easily better than the first ans thw girl I was with thought so tooThe Rock was great. Jonathan Pryce was really funny too. Him playing Angry Birds was a big laugh in my showing.A fun, entertaining time. The crowd definitely was into it.B+ at least

[DoctorWho]

London is blown away and millions die. Eh..Screw Britain! The Joes are Heroes!

Edited March 31, 2013 by DoctorWho

[Cmasterclay]

It was a G.I. Joe movie. Provided just what I wanted, and didn't go beyond that. Obviously not a great film, but I had fun. The ninja battle and London scene were genuine "whoa" moments. The Rock really added alot to the franchise. He had great chemistry with Tatum and Willis in small roles.  RZA almost ruined it in his scenes. D.J. Cortona added nothing to the film- I loved how Willis had nothing clever to say to him in the final ceremony, so he just said "great job" and walked away. Classic.

 

Solid 7/10 

[Dragon]

6.5/10

[wileECoyote]

Agreed this movie is a mess to review. The good:Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Big fan of those two from the comics and their match ups and action scenes were electric. 10/10The Rock: modern day action hero. 9/10Adrienne Palicki: 8.5/10Ninja Scene: 8.5/10 great ott action scene. The bad: Pretty much the rest :lol; even for a check your brain at the door movie, the plot was a mess.This reminded me of the old GI Joe cartoons but not in a good way.Have to say that that its better than the first, just not as memorable.6.5/10

Edited April 1, 2013 by WileECoyote