Valerian (2017)

[The Panda]

The movie's a mess, it's entertaining at times, but that doesn't stop it from feeling like the equivalent of a kid mixing every fountain drink in his cup thinking it's innovative in cool but gets something disgusting in return.

 

The script is terrible, there's some funny bits, but they didn't even give any of the actors hope of a good performance because of how inorganic and sporadic it is.  Everything just feels like an excuse to go on a visual trip that's technically impressive, but too convoluted to be effective.

 

Dane DeHaan is awful in this, he drags down every scene he's in (and he's in a lot).  One of the worst lead performances I've seen this year, and worthy of a Razzie.  I don't know what he was trying to do, it was like a poor man's imitation of a bad Keanu Reeves performance.

 

Whoever the girl was did fine for what she had to work with, you could tell she was kind of trying but DeHaan was just an uncharismatic brick wall.

 

Ethan Hawke was the standout of the movie, to bad he's in it for like 10 minutes at most.  He was the only one who really played the ham of it all well.

 

The visuals are fun, it's something that you think could be a solid film had it been approached better.  But the entire effort is fairly sloppy, with many "that's terrible" moments.  However there were a few "That's really cool/innovative" ones to that helped the film.

 

It did feel like a drag though, I wasn't invested in anything going on.  For a movie with this much visual piszaz it should have been a lot more entertaining than it actually was.

 

D+

[KGator]

I walked in with high hopes and walked out pining about the missed opportunity I had just watched.  The visuals were excellent, the story was . . . okay (a bit convoluted) and overall I'm glad I saw it.  The story could have been tightened up but to me the biggest failure was in the acting.  I had heard negative things about DeHaan before seeing it but thought they might be exaggerated.  Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.  DeHaan did not fit the role one bit.  He looks fine but he is about as charismatic as a bucket of squash.  His lines seemed forced and painful to watch.  Pulling some kid off the street with no acting experience to play the role couldn't have been much worse.  I thought Develingne was fine and as a previous poster mentioned.  At least it seemed as if she tried.  Had they found a better actor to play Valerian this might actually have been a really good overall movie instead of just a great visual experience.

 

I found the dance scene with Rihanna to be a fantastic scene, truly mesmerizing.  But speaking of acting . . . once Rihanna stopped dancing and had to open her mouth her contribution diminished rapidly.  She's a singer, dancer and a lot of things but she isn't a very convincing actress . . . at least not yet.  Given that, I would still put her performance ahead of DeHaan's.

 

I like Sci-Fi so I would give this a B-.  If you don't have a preference for science fiction and don't like those types of movies then stay far away.  It's really its only redeeming quality.  I hear Beeson has written sequels.  Clearly with a thudding performance this has had at the domestic box office it seems unlikely they will ever happen.  If they do though, I would strongly recommend replacing Dane with someone who has a personality that fits the role.

[Ezen Baklattan]

There's a lot to recommend here: Great visuals and wonderful world building about (the market scene is utterly breathtaking), and props to Luc Besson for finally getting me on the Delevigne train: She offers enough droll charm and sincere heart that actually gives her a lot more range than normal. Too bad she's treated marginally better than Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad. Dehaan is usually pretty great, but man, he was BAD in this. Probably because big blockbusters can't get enough of the cold, misogynistic a-hole as their protagonist, but it doesn't help that Valerian is about as interesting as watching paint dry, and his chemistry between Laureline was non-existence. The story itself is servicable, but the twist was pretty damn predictable and derivative, and Rihanna is utterly shafted in a blah 20-minute role that does little to further the plot or world. Ethan Hawke's 8 lines of dialogue aren't enough to justify it.

 

Visually fun, but god, it should have been the Laureline and Bubble show.

[MikeQ]

This was good. And interesting.

 

The beautiful, intricate world building is truly the star of this film, including Planet Mul; Alpha; and the different species, cultural customs, behaviours and ways of being.

 

Beyond that, the movie succeeds most on a thematic level. Though not fully developed, the underlying message and heart of the film kept it motoring. It also had some great moments that felt especially adventurous, inspired, or compelling - for example, the opening "heist" with agents recovering the convertor; everything with Bubble; Laureline being delivered as food, dressed in a giant, incredible white hat, making for some great imagery. 

 

I didn't think DeHaan was bad, but it did feel like he was miscast. Though, there is something to be said for having a guy who isn't your typical big, macho dude, but who still puts on a show of being this impressive agent. It does make for some interesting practices of masculinity, with a man who doesn't necessarily possess the ideals of manhood - who doesn't achieve the hegemonic form of masculinity - but who taps into it as men do. However, I would have liked to have seen someone else better suited for this role.

 

Delevingne was good and felt more appropriately cast. She exuded a tough, playful character, and her character really was the centre of this story. Valerian is reckless out on a chase and crashes, and he would have been left there to die, potentially, if it weren't for Laureline. We don't even see Valerian for a good stretch there in the middle of the film. Laureline also plays an important role in the pivotal moment at the end, going against soldierly "protocol", and choosing to break the rules for 'love' (in the most expansive sense of the word) in order to do what is right. In the process, she shows Valerian what love really is.

 

Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, and John Goodman's voice work were all great.

 

It is interesting, I kept waiting for the movie to "fall apart", but I felt it became somewhat stronger over time as it became more playful and campy and comfortable with itself. Though clunky, it was never unintelligible. Ultimately, I wish it would have allowed itself to totally embrace the playful, weird, and unearthly.

 

Overall, it didn't always hit it out of the park, but this was mostly a good and interesting film, and there should be more summer blockbusters like Valerian, so that, as with more standard blockbuster fare, we can be witness to the occasional ones that especially flourish and amaze.

 

Peace,

Mike

Edited July 27, 2017 by MikeQ

[antovolk]

Enjoyed this so so much. It's funny, the source material predates everything but Besson here almost shamelessly cribs from Star Trek and Wars, main title cards from Transformers, his own The Fifth Element, with a whole dollop of Fantastic Beasts/Avatar-esque worldbuilding where it's not Valerian & Laureline you care most about - it's the WORLD. It's the Pearls, the different species introduced, the city itself, the conceits (the evolution of VR/AR that Besson plays with in an early set piece is genius) and so on. The fact that you get invested into all this within two hours just shows Besson's skill. 

This is no Fifth Element (but in similar wheelhouse) - but honestly feels like Luc's love letter to modern sci-fi, flaws and all (yes, I see why some people had a problem with some parts of it). Derivative? Yes. Problem? Not at all when the experience (biggest screen, 3D, Atmos, those visuals) and the whole journey works and draws you in.

If I had to pick weak links - the humans: they sure set up Valerian and Laureline to be this brash too-cool-for-school-jock who doesn't really look like one (DeHaan nailed that demeanor tbh) and I'm-so-sick-of-his-crap sidekick (Delevingne is surprisingly good) but that doesn't really get paid off the way it could have - just so much potential. But the non-humans? Amazingly done. Even Rihanna. You can tell how much care both script and visuals wise was put into it. And speaking of - sure the story's a bit weak, but so was The Fifth Element's by the same coin. 

Can't wait for the moment this gets rediscovered on home media. I wonder how differently it'll play there because it really was something on the big screen. I can even forgive Besson for the human casting, but his utter stubbornness when it came to WB/Nolan/Dunkirk just did not help matters, it became the narrative and coupled with the trailers which Besson tried to keep as teaser-y as possible - there's a reason it was ONLY visuals/atmosphere (there isn't really a twist or anything but going in not knowing the *actual* set-up premise of the story is great) - it screwed things up. Real shame. Let's hope this film gets its due.

8/10

[DeeCee]

I just couldn't get engaged with the film.  The start was great with the space stations all coming together and it was visually stunning but other than that it just didn't work for me.  Dehaan was a terrible miscast.  He seemed to be channelling 90' Keanu Reeves in both dialogue and his voice.

 

Also, at the end I didn't buy after everything Valerian had done so far that he would suddenly go all good soldier and not hand over the Converter.

 

I was also annoyed I had to see it in 3D.  

 

C+

Edited August 17, 2017 by DeeCee

[Avatree]

Act 1: I've seen more convincing computer graphics from the Super Nintendo

Act 2: I never thought I'd see a movie that actually takes a plot line from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Act 3: This film really wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be

 

Other notes:

 

I was not dissastisfied at all with Cara Delivingne. I had a nice wank at the back of the cinema. Big up to the costume designer.

Dane DeHaan is getting more annoying with each passing movie he does.

Complete was of space cowboy pimp Ethan Hawke.

"With Rutger Hauer" is a bit of a stretch given that he only has about a 20 second speech to open the film.

 

Edited August 17, 2017 by Manchester by the Tree

[eXtacy]

Was surprisingly good with the exception of DeHaan being completely miscast and unlikable in this. Stopped it being a great movie but I still had a blast in this visually realized universe.

Edited August 26, 2017 by eXtacy

[SchumacherFTW]

I despised this movie. None of the characters were likable, the CGI was butt ugly, and most egregiously of all I was bored for a good chunk of the run time. Worst movie I've seen so far this year, and it ain't even close. 

[Blankments]

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is absolutely insane. There's no other way to describe it. Besson's second vision of a wacky future is even more realized than his first, even if it does explain itself a tad too much. That's the film's main issue; it stops far too frequently for expository reasons, not realizing how fun the nonstop ride of lunacy is. That, and it has a solid half hour that could easily be cut out to help the pacing.

 

However, that doesn't detract from the stellar worldbuilding, enthralling action scenes, and memorably pulpy characters. Yes, Laureline and Valerian are the most boring characters in the film, but DeHaan and Delevingne fill them with just enough presence that you always wanna see what happens next. Rihanna steals the show in a segment that makes her utterly memorable despite disappointingly small screentime. More importantly than any performance, Besson directs it so not a single frame of this film is boring, and you never wanna take a break from the sheer madness unfolding on screen. It feels like a Saturday morning cartoon brought to life in the best sense, with gorgeous colors and two-dimensional characters with just enough quirks to like.

 

Arbogast's cinematography is gorgeous and Desplat's score elevates the film to even higher heights. No matter what problems one might have with the narrative, this is a technical masterpiece. The story, although disjointed and unfocused at points, always astounds on the locations it takes audiences to and the setpieces that make up the story. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets might be messy, but it never fails to entertain and impresses with Besson's fully realized vision, being brought to life on the big screen. A beautiful space opera and a lovely (failed) blockbuster. B

[Goffe]

Obnoxiously in love with its imagination, and, unsurprisingly, that's the only thing there is to it. Besson still can't shoot a movie properly to save his life. 4/10

[somebody85]

I was so lost watching this movie. Both leads seemed miscast and too young for the roles they were playing. Cara was better than usual though. The best chase sequences seemed like they would have worked better as a 5 minute ride instead of a film. A lot of really cool and original world building is totally wasted on a terrible script. Definitely had potential but misses the mark by a lot. - C-

Edited December 14, 2017 by somebody85

[Barnack]

11 minutes ago, somebody85 said:

I was so lost watching this movie. Both leads seemed miscast and too young for the roles they were playing.

Everytime the movie ask us to believe the young guy is an highly respected, highly ranked in the military person, it is asking a lot from us.

[Orestes]

On 7/25/2017 at 11:19 PM, New Year New Panda said:

Dane DeHaan is awful in this, he drags down every scene he's in (and he's in a lot).  One of the worst lead performances I've seen this year, and worthy of a Razzie.  I don't know what he was trying to do, it was like a poor man's imitation of a bad Keanu Reeves performance.

 

Whoever the girl was did fine for what she had to work with, you could tell she was kind of trying but DeHaan was just an uncharismatic brick wall.

 

 

Completely agree. I went into this expecting weird eyebrow girl to be the weak link, but she was actually passable, and could've even been decent with someone better to bounce off of. Unfortunately for her and us, Dehaaaaaaaaan was absolutely terrible. Every line read, I felt like maybe he should've taken a nap before shooting started. No energy or charisma whatsoever

 

On 12/14/2017 at 12:55 PM, Barnack said:

Everytime the movie ask us to believe the young guy is an highly respected, highly ranked in the military person, it is asking a lot from us.

Yes, this was probably the hardest thing to suspend my disbelief over.

 

A better male lead and this movie could've been merely mediocre instead of just bad.

[Joel M]

DeHaan was definately miscast and the chemistry with Delevigne is just not there (she manages to come off a bit better than him) but I really don't blame them for imost of it. Their Han-Leia dynamic is set up horribly from the start and their "sexy" banter throughout the movie is 100% cringe all the way through. Also the script tries to sell Valerian as a charming rogue-ish bad boy but instead it makes him into an asshole which because of the DeHaan miscast make himlook like a spoiled man-baby asshole. Pretty much everything about the main character/relationship of the movie is a flat out disaster.

 

But I didn't hate the movie, I enjoyed most of it. The central plot and it's resolution is interesting enough to follow, Rihana is very memorable in her little bit and it's so arresting visually at many times and so full of stuff to look at that I was never bored. I'm a fan of Besson's delirious style so I found a lot of things to appreciate but I'm still bummed the script is so very bad even by his own low standards. The New 5th Element this aint.

 

C+.