Cookie Does Requests or Whatever (Cookie's Corner Y6) - Unlike Garfield, this thread doesn't hate Mondays

[cookie]

13 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

And you said you weren't gonna read anything this year.

Having no stakes involved has allowed me to focus more on other people's work while doing more future planning, and tbf there weren't that many non-filler films out this year. A lot of stuff were either delayed, cancelled or shortened, more than usual at least.

 

Also helped that I had read some of the longer work in advance so all I had to do was whip up a review when Phase II started. I might do more of that next year.

Edited October 5, 2019 by cookie

[cookie]

Surprise review is going to be moved to tomorrow because something came up, but rest assured I have read everything but the last film I've saved until the end.

[Reddroast]

7 minutes ago, cookie said:

Surprise review is going to be moved to tomorrow because something came up, but rest assured I have read everything but the last film I've saved until the end.

Please let it be bleach

[Ezen Baklattan]

He already reviewed Bleach @Reddroast

[Rorschach]

1 minute ago, Reddroast said:

Please let it be bleach

He already reviewed it tho

[4815162342]

1 minute ago, Spaghetti said:

He already reviewed Bleach @Reddroast

 

 

[Reddroast]

On 10/4/2019 at 5:44 AM, cookie said:

Bleach

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Now, this is an interesting CAYOM item just by the virtue of it existing: an open collaboration between two studios and two different writers coming together to create a somewhat episodic narrative based on a popular manga/anime series (none of which I have seen).

 

With Bleach positioning itself as a holiday alternative to Gateways, how does it fare as an individual narrative and as a comparison to previous anime adaptations in the industry, point of interest being not just last year's One Punch Man, but also this year's The Ancient Magus' Bride and the King of Cats?

 

...When I coined the term "pilot movie" I figured it was going to get a lot of use. Remember, I'm not using this term as a direct criticism, more as a point of observation. That said, the very episodic nature of the film is going to be an acquired taste for numerous reasons.

 

I think what it boils down to is that two of the five "episodes" are extraneous in the grand scheme of things: episode five is basically the movie having a climactic finale for the sake of having a climactic finale, introducing a hammy Timothée Chalamet in the film's last thirty minutes to deliver more worldbuilding and send a swarm of monsters for our heroes to fight. It's fine as a big final action scene, but I personally thought the movie could've ended after part four, given the emotional resolution that one had, and it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

 

It's at least better than episode three, which only exists to set up a comedy relief character who pops up during brief intervals in part four and then disappears from the movie (and is voiced by Paul Rudd, for confusing reasons). To have a whole fifth of the movie just to set that up is odd, and if anything you could've cut part three altogether and explain Kon's existence in a much more streamlined way.

 

As for the rest of it? Aside from some awkward dialogue and sometimes wonky worldbuilding... it's fine. If you're not already attached to the material (I'm going to assume this adapts either the first five chapters of the manga or the first five episodes of the show) you're probably gonna watch it, be moderately entertained and then forget about it the next day. Aside from some bits that could've been explained better, I never had trouble following it, and its action scenes are visually creative enough that they help balance things out.

 

I do hope if a follow-up gets made that it elects a more standard three-act structure so it feels more like traditional story and not a series of connected vignettes.

 

B-

 

I've added all my scores to the OP for people who don't want to scroll through the whole thread just to find my verdict.

So...  The "episodic" style was my idea to help pace it better considering that pacing was an issue for OPM. The other critiques are fair. Charlie Day would have been my choice for Kon. 

[cookie]

6 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

So...  The "episodic" style was my idea to help pace it better considering that pacing was an issue for OPM. The other critiques are fair. Charlie Day would have been my choice for Kon. 

I didn't mind the style all that much, it's just that at least one episode didn't really need to be there since it amounted to very little.

[Reddroast]

13 minutes ago, cookie said:

I didn't mind the style all that much, it's just that at least one episode didn't really need to be there since it amounted to very little.

I just wanted to explain why it's there. 

[cookie]

Let's get this show on the road.

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

The Last Policeman

 

I may have called Ansolo kinda poo in the past. I make no secret generally don't like him. Not to the same extent as Miles Teller, but something about Ansolo just rubs me the wrong way. I still haven't seen Baby Driver in full because of him (and I guess Kevin Spacey since then hasn't made things easier). Sorry.

 

(Lily James is still bae tho so pls don't hate me)

 

That doesn't mean Ansolo is bad here, though, in fact, he's pretty good. It's not the most layered character in the world, and you've seen the archetype many times before, but he's good. He's more informed of what's happening around him than he is as an individual character, but again, he's good.

 

I think The Last Policeman's true strength lies in its atmosphere. The film takes place in a small precinct where on some level everyone knows everyone, and when it becomes apparent that the apocalypse is nigh it's not so much full-blown chaos as it's crippling hopelessness and anxiety, a closely-knit commune that tries to operate as normal but either dread of the inevitable or callous apathy renders it nearly functionless... and with a lot of people already deciding there's no point going on, leading a lethargic police force to decide most cases aren't worth investigating, it's also the right time if one hopes to get away with murder.

 

Needless to say, I really enjoyed this one. It felt like a less morbid version of the first and third seasons of True Detective, and not just because of Cary Fukunaga directing. My favorite parts would have to be the interactions Palace has with the rest of his squad, as each of them have their own colorful personality emphasized by the sense of impending doom.

 

I do have two quibbles: One, I thought the murder mystery escalated a little too quickly in the last half hour and wrapped up just as fast. I don't mind the reveal itself, but it did kinda feel like the makers were looking at the clock, realizing they've spent 90 minutes building an effective mood piece, and had to wrap everything up with only a quarter of the film left to go. It makes the end bit feel a bit rushed in my opinion.

 

The second quibble would be the government conspiracy subplot, which works fine as a part of the background but felt very "this will be important down the line rather than having much to do with what's happening right now" whenever it was front and center. I know there are two more books after this one, so once it becomes a bigger factor maybe it'll be more interesting.

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Not looking at spoilers for further books, I'm assuming the government is lying about where the meteorite is going to land in order to maintain stability and not arise suspicion or panic.

 

That aside, it's an effective piece and should go down as one of the year's stronger outings.

 

A-

 

Edited October 7, 2019 by cookie

[Ethan Hunt]

I know I should be over it by now but I can't help but be shocked by how bad your Miles Teller opinion is every time you say it

 

[cookie]

15 minutes ago, Ethan Hunt said:

I know I should be over it by now but I can't help but be shocked by how bad your Miles Teller opinion is every time you say it

 

Miles Teller radiates douche energy in everything he's in and I don't like him. Sorry.

[cookie]

I mean, I don't actually have a strong hate for Miles Teller, I just haven't liked his screen presence. I wouldn't bash his films or his performances in them if they're still good.

Edited October 7, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

I'd be lying if I said David Henrie's role in Aquarius wasn't inspired by Teller's fuckery in 24 Hours.

[cookie]

Let's start at the bottom and work our way to the top:

 

The Anti-Cookie award for Worst Movie of the Year

 

and the nominees are:

 

Academy: The Chronicles of ELIXIR BAD

 

Brickleberry: The Next Level (of Trash)

 

Detective Pidge 2: Taissa Takes Manhattan

 

Nightmare on Rapsittie Street (Kids)

 

Thawed Up Your Butt

 

and the winner is:

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Rapsittie Street Kids: A Bunny's Tale

 

To the makers of this:

 

 

There's a fine line between doing something so intentionally dumb it's funny, and something so intentionally dumb it's just unbearable to get through. Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson is the former, Rapsittie Street Kids is the latter.

 

Jonny Jonny did not need a spin-off. It did not need to rope in tons of good actors. Hell, even D-lists you find in bargain bin trash would be above this. It has no reason to exist other than aiming to be the worst thing possible, which I guess it succeeded at, and in which case, congrats! Have a cake filled with molten tar.

 

What I'm getting at is that the joke wasn't funny the first time and now it's just reheated leftovers, which is even worse. Don't make a third one of these, please.

 

And for those suggesting I should read the ending (no, I never even finished this. IDGAF):

 

 

 

Edited October 7, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

❤️

[Ezen Baklattan]

If it makes you feel any better...

 

AHP's OW gross at the one Cinerama theater in Seattle > ABT's entire total probably 

[cookie]

The "No Star Fox This Year" award for Biggest Disappointment

 

There's always gonna be those films you really look forward to, that either their respective creators hype up in advance as game changers or hook you in at the start with an intriguing premise, but leave you feel cold and underwhelmed once the end credits roll. This is not a slight against the creators of these works, not everything is going to be perfect, but needless to say I expected much more going into each of these films.

 

And the nominees are:

 

Teyonnah and the Renegades

 

Lumberjanes: Secret of the Eye

 

Thirsty

 

The Neon Psalms

 

and the winner is:

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

Lumberjanes: Secret of the Eye

 

 

Lumberjanes was maybe my most anticipated film this year (that made it) outside of the Spark finale. Borrowing from a comic series I haven't read but still want to, a stellar cast including the good and brave choice of having an open transgender actress as your lead, and the director of a future Cookie Pictures tentpole, everything was lining up so well...

 

...Until it started and quickly derailed for me. While the end result isn't terrible or even all that bad, it's just too chaotic and doesn't sell me on the source material. A much better structure could've salvaged it in this critic's eyes.

 

Sorry. Here's a decent song from The Lion King II: Simba's Pride:

 

 

I do hope that Star Fox, should it be finished in Year 7, doesn't end up with this award just to avoid the irony.

 

Edited October 7, 2019 by cookie

[Ezen Baklattan]

Man you're breaking my heart with these early rewards.

 

I can promise you, however, that if the movie was too chaotic, the comics aren't a whole lot better for that regard. 

[Ezen Baklattan]

 

Also we know that by the end Kovu is ultimately in the right.