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Wknd "Paramount Actuals": TF4 -100.04M | RTH Favorite Radio Station - 97.5 FM [Actuals pg 11]

By #ED, in Numbers and Data

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Fancyarcher Global Phenomenon

Fancyarcher

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So I've just started reading CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS, ULTIMATE BADASS, and already the trailers have me hooked. I mean a film where Samuel L Jackson fights his evil clone, a film with Mr. T and cannibals, a film with Bruce Willis as a Russian agent trying to become a wizard, sign me up!

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Claire of Themyscira Global Phenomenon

Claire of Themyscira

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So I've just started reading CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS, ULTIMATE BADASS, and already the trailers have me hooked. I mean a film where Samuel L Jackson fights his evil clone, a film with Mr. T and cannibals, a film with Bruce Willis as a Russian agent trying to become a wizard, sign me up!

But when is he casting my queen? 1/10.

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Fancyarcher Global Phenomenon

Fancyarcher

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Just read the first part, CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS, ULTIMATE BADASS, some thoughts (it's in spoilers so I don't ruin for people who haven't read it).

 

Film starts out kinda slow, but picks up when Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson fight Dwayne Johnson.



Love the bit where Mel Gibson is doing that commercial for that toy. Clearly his career has been flushed down the toilet, bad enough that’d he agree to do something like that.

Dwayne Johnson owns a store where they sell toys, ha, ha, ha! No wonder he’s been making a lot of kids movies lately.

Dwayne Johnson sings a song, I’d love to see that happen someday for real.

The race sequences with The DeLorean is great. Classic creepy Christopher Lloyd.

Runni Knows sounds like it’s a sadistic toy.

Dwayne Johnson wants to have children with a giant Runni Knows, uh… okay.

Runni Knows eats Dwayne Johnson alive, oh… that was an unexpected twist

The heads of Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Chan and Bruce Willis on the pikes, NOOO!!!

Runni Knows are running around the North Pole, YIKES!

Mel Gibson is the real villain, we always Mel was mad, but he’s clearly gone off the deep end.

 

Aside from a few questionable scenes, this sounds very entertaining.

 

A very solid and very enjoyable first part Blanks.

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kowhite Global Phenomenon

kowhite

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I would take a picture of my laserdiscs, but they're in storage at my parent's house. (Not that my collection was anything special, but still.... laserdiscs!)

There was a time I had near 500 laserdiscs.I ebay end those mofos circa 2000. A poor college student was quite happen with the dollars they made me.God bless Star Trek fans, I made a mint on those TNG episode discs.
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Fancyarcher Global Phenomenon

Fancyarcher

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Here’s part two of my thoughts on CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS, ULTIMATE BADASS,

 

Trailers: #DoomfulDeaths: What Jackie Chan as Mark Zuckerberg? LMAO!. Plus the plot with Zuckerberg downloading himself onto the internet in order to stop the create of Twitter is absurdly fun sounding.

 

Now for the story itself,

 

Mrs. Claus is hot, I haven’t heard that one before.

Bruce Willis horrified of short people. Makes complete sense if you ask me.

Santa Claus beating up giant spiders. Badass Santa FTW.

Samuel L. Jackson was Jingle the elf, what a shocking plot twist.

I’d love to see a photo of Mrs. Claus in a bikini. It would a pleasant picture to look at.

Weed cookies!!! You should totally imply sometime that Santa likes to get high. I mean even guys like Santa shouldn’t be opposed to being on drugs.

“Bruce Willis mumbles, asking if he’s in another Michael Bay movie”. That sentence made me crack up.

I knew that the Runni Knows were demonic and evil. Didn’t need to tell me that.

The battles between Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Chan Bruce Willis and Santa Claus are awesomely done.

“Bruce Willis has intelligent” well he’s certainly not intelligent when it comes to picking scripts.

Jackie Chan, Samuel L. Jackson, and Bruce Willis heads getting chopped off sounds like something that would be horrifying to see on the big screen.

Santa Claus being more badass than Jackie Chan, Samuel L. Jackson, and Bruce Willis is completely realistic as far as I’m concerned.

Mel Gibson has Santa Claus under mind control, OH NO!

 

Overall a solid part two. Liked how it was a prequel to the first, explaining what happened to the north pole.

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BadAtGender Global Phenomenon

BadAtGender

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Well, Monsters vs. Aliens mostly failed to capitalize on its potential. There were glimmers here and there, especially when it mirrored the form of old sci-fi movies rather than referencing the content. If they had really gone all out on that and narrowed the focus a bit, it probably would have been pretty keen.

 

So, enjoyable as a disposable distraction, but not really memorable. Pity. Susan had a pretty fun character arc.

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Fancyarcher Global Phenomenon

Fancyarcher

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Here’s my thoughts on the third and final part to CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS, ULTIMATE BADASS.

 

Attack of the 1200-Foot Bitch – Mel Gibson as Clifford The Big Red Dog merging with Mila Kunis to form a monster? Christopher Lloyd as Detective J. Jay Jai? WHAT THE FUCK! This sounds like something a writer would come up when he was high, and I love it.

Now as for my thoughts on the actual story,

 

Mel Gibson, rapping? Must have been a really, really low point in his career. Might as well add the rapping dog from Titanic: The Animated Movie while you’re at it.



At last the battle everyone’s expecting Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. Santa Claus: Ultimate Badass has begun.

Belly of steel? Where there will be a controversial scene where Chuck Norris snaps Santa’s neck and then screams?

Chuck Norris has some serious ego issues, he wanna consult a counselor, let’s just hope Ridley Scott not directing the performance though.

Santa is free from Mel Gibson control, yay!!

Mr. T’s not dead, hooray!!!

Nude Mel Gibson vs. Mrs. Claus, that’s a fight for the ages.

Mrs. Claus being under Mel Gibson’s mind control must be a dream come true for him.

The Runni Knows Doll fight with Chuck Norris, Liam Neeson and Santa is epic.

Mel Gibson and Liam Neeson are both dead, I’m in shock, I did not see that coming.

The gateway to the underworld is under Conan O’Brien’s studio. Woah!

Chuck Norris is such an honorable and heroic despite some ego problems.

Conan O’Brien as a villain in the next one sounds great.

 

Overall this was a pretty awesome story. I’ll definitely be checking out the other Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson film / stories later. Good job Blanks.

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