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Shawn Robbins

The Dark Knight Rises

By Shawn Robbins, in Review That Movie! (Spoilers Allowed)

  

230 members have voted

  1. 1. Grade The Dark Knight Rises

    • A
      120
    • B
      51
    • C
      24
    • D
      7
    • F
      4

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Goffe Global Phenomenon

Goffe

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All points made sense? You're talking about a list with points like these.

 

"The Other Guy" - When did Banner start using this phrase all the time? Just call him "The Hulk" already.

Here's Your Money - Captain America never took Nick Fury up on that bet and is under no obligation to pay him the ten dollars. Even if he wanted to pay, Nick Fury should have turned him down the offer.

"I've Got A Plan. Attack." - Come on.

"I Understood That Reference" - Seriously, you need to be quiet Captain America.

Galaga - The most cringe-worthy of the many failed attempts at humor in this movie. Tony Stark first joking that a SHIELD agent was playing Galaga was funny. But then to later show a SHIELD agent actually playing Galaga, it completely ruins the joke. It is completely out of place in this movie. And why would he go straight back to playing Galaga after having just been publicly called out on it?

Pick Up Your Hammer Thor - Thor find his hammer sitting in a deserted field. He goes to pick it up:

"I don't see how that's a party." - No. Just no.

Black Widow Hitching A Ride - Yes, that seemed like something that was possible.

 

 

And those are just the points I don't need to say anything about for people to see how stupid they are. Mostly because these points seem to assume if they say 'That's stupid' enough times, then eventually we'll begin to believe it too. I could probably go through every single point there and point out how stupid they are, if I get bored enough.

ok, I take back what I said, only half of those points made sense 

They're Still In Charge - So even after all that, Nick Fury is still answering to the Shadow Council. Sigh... What's the point of all of them having such poor lighting anyway?

come on, this was funny

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rukaio101 Blockbuster

rukaio101

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Because I have too much free time on my hands (and I get off on this sort of stuff), enjoy a rebuffal of every single one of Squaremaster's anti-avengers points. In a spoiler box so people who don't care don't have to read.

 

Too Early for Main Characters to Be Killed - Despite having just killed almost all of the SHIELD workers in the room when he first arrives, when confronted with the main characters played by big movie stars, Loki opts to either keep them alive under mind control or to just have one of his drones shoot him in the vest and then just leave him like a stereotypical Bond villain.Firstly, it's only natural that Loki would want talented people under his control, hence why he mind controlled Hawkeye, the established best agent in the room. Secondly, he didn't know Fury had a vest on and (as anybody who's used a gun will tell you), it's easier to shoot someone in the chest rather than the head. Heck, for all we know, Loki doesn't even know what a bulletproof vest is. Also, considering the base was about to collapse, Loki didn't exactly have time to make sure Fury was dead.Dr. Selvig Mind Control - Having just seen Loki use his scepter to take over the mind of two separate people, maybe Selvig should have stayed out of scepter reach instead of thinking that it was okay to stand right next to the god who just killed a bunch of people.Because when they're completely untrained and unready for any dangerous situation, people usually make logical decisions and don't freeze up do they? Also (although I'm unsure on this point since I can't remember it exactly), didn't Loki superjump over to Selvig? So even if he'd ran, Loki could've caught him."Who's That?" - Maria Hill was surprisingly unconcerned with how this guy she's never seen before, wearing a cliche villain's costume and carrying a magic scepter, got into their super secret underground lair or what he was doing with the good guys. Isn't she second in command?Because being second in command means you can recognise everyone in the base instantly and know when something's off. Also, if you were in the middle of a large-scale evacuation, would you waste several minutes interrogating a guy who looks slightly funny?But They Don't Care Who She Is Either - See first point. Despite having killed every other single person who they crossed paths with, they just leave Maria Hill alone despite her suspicious inquiry, giving her the opportunity to give chase later.Because there are likely plenty of other soldiers nearby and they don't want to draw anyone's attention, so they don't have to desperately fight their way out. Also, we only ever saw Loki kill people in the Tesseract room. For all we know, they let plenty of soldiers untouched when they made their way to the vehiclesGreat Timing - Nick Fury is conveniently out of commission only for the exact second that it would take for Loki to get away. Any time earlier and all the problems Loki caused later would have been avoided.Dramatic timing. Not a flaw.Hawkeye's Aim - When Maria Hill is driving in front of Hawkeye, with the two vehicles facing each other, how does Hawkeye, the world's greatest sharpshooter, not only miss Hill, but never even hit the window in front of her? One might argue that Loki's mind control powers have an effect on Hawkeye's abilities, but that doesn't seem to hinder him any other time in the movie.Hawkeye's aim is only best when using a bow & arrow, which (as any sane person will tell you) is a lot different from shooting with a gun. Also, the car swerving around a lot probably doesn't help.Collapse - See the first point again. When the facility collapses onto Maria Hill she finds herself remarkably unhurt with plenty of space to get out of her vehicle and go about business as usual.The facility doesn't collapse on her, she's already made her way to the outskirts of the facility during the car crash."We Are At War" - How's that? Yes, Loki did steal a device from SHIELD that'll give him a ton of free electricity, but how is that somehow the equivalent of being at war? That's quite a leap. Just get a SEAL team or Black Widow and go get it back. No muss. There's no need to create a superhero team just for this.So a Superpowered, alien being appears, steals an mysterious, possibly-incredibly powerful alien object for unknown reasons and apparently that's not a reason to panic?BUILDING THE TEAMHulk - SHIELD has to know how futile it would be to try to bring a group of soldiers to subdue Bruce Banner should he Hulk out. All trying to physically take on the Hulk would do is cost them a bunch of lives.So their best option would be to just let the Hulk rampage around the city, if he got loose? At least the soldiers could distract him away from civilian areas."The Other Guy" - When did Banner start using this phrase all the time? Just call him "The Hulk" already.You're a moron.Nick Fury - The guy really wants to create the Avengers. With the right push, they could be an incredible fighting force. But for what purpose? What threat does he think is coming that requires the Avengers? He has no knowledge of any impending alien invasion at this point.Did you miss the whole 'alien being steals mysterious device of possibly limitless power for unknown reasons thing?'Captain America - Captain America: "Trying to get me back into the world?" Nick Fury: "Trying to save it." Again, what gives Nick Fury the impression that the world is being threatened? Some guy stole their perpetual motion machine, that's all that has happened so far. And what gives Nick Fury the idea that Captain America will be any good at fighting a demi-god.Iron Man - "The Avengers Initiative was scraped, I thought I didn't even qualify." So at the end of the first Iron Man movie, Nick Fury approaches Tony Stark to recruit him. In the second movie, Nick Fury talks to Stark in depth about the program he's trying to create but he's dropped as a recruit. Then it's revealed at the beginning of this movie that the program had been scraped, but that's okay, because they bring back the program and recruit Tony Stark not long later anyway, making everything regarding the Avengers in the first two Iron Man movies completely pointless.Or alternately, it shows how desperate SHIELD are to revive a scrapped program and re-recruit someone who was already dropped by the program?War Machine - Where is he? There are two men who have protective iron suits that are loaded with guns and lasers. Why is the inclination to go to the sarcastic billionaire playboy for help instead of the Air Force Colonel? They bring in Captain America for no other reason than his military experience it seems, but they still forget all about War Machine.War Machine doesn't work for SHIELD, unlike Cap, and, considering his suit is technically US government property, there'd need to be a lot of paperwork done to transfer him, unlike Tony. Also, aside from muscle, there's not really much he can bring to their aid.Loki - Why does he need the Tesseract to get all of the Chitauri to Earth when Thanos seems to have the ability to transfer Loki to and from Earth with ease? Or why didn't Thanos just transport to Earth himself and grab the Tesseract real fast than transport away?To begin with, it wasn't Thanos who sent Loki, he made it there by using the Tesseract (as was explained in the film). Secondly, there's a difference between transporting one person and a large army. Thirdly, considering the energy produced by the Tesseract from transporting Loki down destroyed the entire complex, doing the same thing with an army might end up destroying the world completely.HELICARRIERThe Flying Hellicarrier - What purpose does that serve apart from just causing problems when someone damages one of the engines?Allows you unlimited access over land and sea, makes it difficult to be ambushed by anything other than single fighter plane, allows you constant movement meaning people can't get a lock on your position, lets you fly faster than a boat probably would. The possiblities are endlessHulk on the Hellicarrier - Bruce Banner: "They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container." Of course not, that would be stupid. It turns out it's a flying pressurized metal container. At least Bruce Banner's response of "This is much worse," shows he has some sort of common sense that nobody else seemed to have bothered themselves with.Considering they need Bruce to find Loki, it makes the most sense to have him on their base. Also, they did make that prison for the Hulk, remember? They've got more ways to get rid of the hulk than any small military base does.The Invisible Flying Hellicarrier - What purpose does that serve? Are they secretly sneaking into enemy territory and pulling off covert-missions with that thing? Then it's a good thing it's not the loudest transportation vehicle in the history of the world, right? Oh wait...Stops it from being plastered all over the world's news perhaps? Because I can't imagine why they'd want to keep their secret base secret...Here's Your Money - Captain America never took Nick Fury up on that bet and is under no obligation to pay him the ten dollars. Even if he wanted to pay, Nick Fury should have turned him down the offer.You're a moron.STUTTGART, GERMANYGetting Loki - Nick Fury: "Captain, you're up." Again, how could Nick Fury have thought that Captain America would have stood a chance fighting against Loki.Because he's a friggin' super soldier? And probably the strongest agent in SHIELD? Also Fury has no idea how strong Loki is either.Captain America's New Uniform - The uniform in the Captain America movie looked great. This one looks like a Halloween costume.You're a moron with no sense of fashion.OMG RUN! - Loki hits a man with a stick, which stuns everyone around, and then shoves a shiny device onto another man's face, which elicits the strange reaction of mass panic through out the room, which quickly spreads through the city streets. "HE HIT A GUY WITH A STICK AND KNOCKED A GUY ONTO A TABLE! EVERYONE RUN! MASS PANIC THROUGH THE STREETS! HE'S HITTING PEOPLE WITH STICKS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" They were acting as if Loki had just opened fire and was shooting everyone. What made things even odder was that most people just seemed to be running around randomly, not particularly away from Loki.Let's correct that. Loki beat up two trained security guards, then brutally stabbed a guy in the eye in front of everyone. I think people can be forginven for panicking. Also, when you're in a panicking crowd, don't you always automatically know exactly where the danger is and which direction to run in?Kneel! - So Loki attacks a couple of guys a throws around a holographic image of himself and everyone complies to his orders immediately and without hesitation? Looks like Loki is right about people really wanting to be subservient.Considering they're surrounded by clones of a guy WHO JUST BLEW UP A POLICE CAR!!!!!! I think people can be forgiven for being a bit intimidated.Keep Kneeling - Old Man: "Not to men like you." Men like you? You mean a loony guy in a ridiculous costume in the middle of the street yelling crazy things? Someone who this old man knows and understands so well because he's been aware of his existence for a full ten seconds now? Men like that? How brave of this old man to stand up to men like him.Or perhaps he meant people who use their power to force others to be subservient to them? As would've been obvious were you not a moron.That Helicarrier is Fast - Five minutes after learning of Loki's location, Captain America is showing up in Germany to fight him. If they can really travel that fast, why don't they just fly around the world super fast and turn back time? They can be better prepared for Loki's arrival this time.First, it wasn't the Helicarrier, it was a jet.Secondly, we don't know how long it was between them spotting Loki on a security camera and him attacking. He could've been waiting around for Hawkeye's group to be ready.Captain's Entrance - So where did Captain America come from exactly? He just dropped out of the sky. Sure he's a super-soldier, but that's a bit much. He did bother to get a parachute the next time he jumped out of a plane.Okay, that's 1.Hitler - Between the old man and Captain America, this whole sequence seemed to take place in Germany just for the sole purpose of making a couple of references as to how Loki's behavior is similar to that of Hitler's.So? It had to take place somewhere.English - Apparently everyone in Germany speaks it.For all we know, only that old guy speaks it. It's not exactly hard to guess what Loki wanted. Especially if there were people who understood English among the crowd (as there likely would've been considering the high-scale party they were at.Use Mind Control on Captain America - Loki's got a moment in his brief fight with Captain America where he has Captain America beat. Instead of mind controlling him or killing him, he holds the butt of his staff on Captain America's head and waits for Captain America to attack him again, which he does.Because he wants to be caught, remember? He didn't know Iron Man would turn up. I'd bet, had the fight continued without IM turning up, Cap would 'somehow' manage to get the best of Loki.THE FORESTThat's the Best They Could Come Up With? - They could have found a much more interesting location for this sequence to take place in.Sure. Why not have the whole thing take place is a residential area. Can't see any problems with that. Also, you're a moron.Thor's Back! - Thor returns in a matter of which they're sure to explain in detail later. Despite being a known ally, Tony Stark is ready to take him on, fearing that Thor might take Loki away and then they'll never get their Tesseract. Okay, but then why just open up the door and let Thor in? If he's on the outside, he can't get to the guy on the inside, which is what Stark wants, right? Maybe Thor would have gotten himself inside eventually, but why make it easy for your enemies to get at you?Known ally, my ass. They have no idea what Thor's going to do. Also, Tony needs the door open so he can get out at Thor to stop him breaking the jet."I've Got A Plan. Attack." - Come on.Hey! If I say 'Come on' that automatically makes it bad, right? Right?Gods - Captain America: "There's only one God ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that," he says after physically having just met two other gods.There's a difference between superpowered beings and Gods.Dark Energy - Okay, so at the end of Thor, it's very well established that the only pathway back to Earth no longer exists. It was intended to be a big emotional moment as Thor makes a big sacrifice for the greater good, knowing that he may never get to see love of his life again. Then, when Thor comes back to Earth, despite what had already been established, they quickly explain away the discrepancy with a line said by Loki, "How much Dark Energy did your father have to muster to conjure you here?" Oh, okay, Dark Energy. That explains that. Moving on then. The term is as arbitrary as Loki claiming it was "magic beans" or "pink elephants." "How many magic beans did your father have to use to conjure you here?" They might have just as well claimed that a wizard did it. They were just trying to get past this problem as fast as possible, but why even establish this obstacle in the first place when they knew that Thor would be coming right back for this movie?Because skipping over it with no explanation or giving a massive unnecessary info dump would've worked much better, right? Also, it's obvious that the whole 'dark energy' thing is being saved for Thor: The Dark World.Forest Fight - Completely pointless and could have been resolved with a couple minutes of talking things out instead of rushing to go all punchy and kicky on each other. It almost seems like this was thrown in as an afterthought. Like they had the script ready to go when they realized that people would want a scene where the heroes face off against each other, so they shoehorned a fight scene between them here. "Hey, not a lot happens in between the beginning and the Helicarrier attack, go ahead and throw in that fight scene here."How was it completely pointless? It introduced Thor to the team, demonstrated his abilities to people unfamiliar with the Thor film (which there would've been) and helped show possible signs of tension between the team.Thor's Lightning Power - Why doesn't Thor use this more?Obviously he can't for some reason. Maybe it tires him out, or he needs certain conditions to do it, but the fact that (in neither this or the Thor movie) he's never shown doing multiple times in quick succession means there's no flaw here.Power 400 Percent Capacity - It looks like Tony Stark is substantially under-powering his suits given that it could take a charge of four times as much as he expected without a problem.Either that, or he's giving them as much as they need and installing things to make sure they don't short out from flying into a power line or something?Captain America Runs Fast - Captain America parachutes down to the ground, but the fight between Iron Man and Thor had flown a long distance from their original point, and it takes Captain America a whole minute or so to catch up. He must be using that same technology that allowed him to travel to Germany in five minutes.Cap is a super soldier remember? Running really fast is kind of his thing.Captain America Getting Involved - Is Captain America really stupid enough to think that he'd be able to intervene in the fight between the metal robot man and a god? He has to know that his strong spirit and good morals will not protect him from lightning strikes.He's not planning on beating down Thor, he's trying to initiate peace talks. He only hits Thor to get his attention. Also, he has no idea how strong Thor is. He was holding his own against Loki easily enough.Bringing the Hammer Down - Was Thor really just about to kill Captain America with his hammer? That's not nice at all. He couldn't have known that Captain America's shield would have deflected his attack or that Captain America would have even used it to defend himself. He was just going to kill Captain America! That's messed up!How do you know he's hitting hard enough to kill? He could just be hitting hard enough to take Cap out of the fight."Are We Done Here?" - Thor hits Captain America's shield with his hammer, it knocks him back, and that apparently ends the fight. What had been resolved in that time that would lead them all to stop fighting and to all start working together? If anything, Thor should have just been angrier.All three are tired and in little state to continue fighting. Now they can have peace talks.Loki is Patient - While the heroes are busy fighting among themselves, Loki just sits patiently and waits for them to finish so he can go back into captivity. Sure, it's revealed later that Loki actually wanted to be captured, but shouldn't he at least have pretended like he was trying to get away so no one would get suspicious? Especially given that Tony Stark and Captain America had already discussed earlier that they thought they had captured Loki too easily the first time. This second time certainly should have cemented those suspicions.True, they should (and are) suspicious of Loki. So what exactly are they going to do instead? Let him go? Send him to a smaller, easier-to-break-out-of military base? They don't exactly have much choice here.BACK ON THE HELICARRIERLoki's Hulk Cage - Nick Fury puts Loki into a cage built for the Hulk that will drop Loki to the ground if he tries to escape. Why would they want to lose Loki, even if it meant killing him, with the Tesseract still out there? Wasn't keeping him in custody to get information from him the whole reason that Iron Man and Thor had just gotten into their big fight?While they do want Loki alive to give information, it's not 100% necessary and, if things go badly wrong, they're better off with him dead than him alive.Hulk's Hulk Cage - And how was that thing every supposed to work in the first place? It's not like anyone could force the Hulk into that cage. The only way for the Hulk to get in there is if Bruce Banner went in voluntarily, kind of defeating the purpose. "Can you please get in there Mr. Banner so we can hold you against your will?" And if Bruce Banner wants to get out, escaping involves hitting on the walls really hard, then he's just let go. Not to mention the fact that this fail-safe on the cage is only effective when the Helicarrier is flying in the air, not when it's on the ground. Least effective prison ever?Presumably, the plan was to either carry a transforming (or possibly about to transform) Bruce into it, or lure the Hulk there. Also, the plan isn't to trap Hulk until he calms down, it's to get him off as fast as possible if something goes wrong. And that method is easier than throwing Bruce off the edge of the helicarrier, especially if it ends up being a false alarm.Red Shirts Are People Too - Discussing Loki's plan together, the team realizes that Loki kidnapped Dr. Selvig because he needed him to build the portal that would allow his army through. Upon inquiry as to why Selvig was helping Loki, Black Widow states "Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours." She does know that there are people other than her boyfriend right? He has more than just one of theirs. Really, there was a no-name standing next to Hawkeye that he also took.One of ours likely means a high-level SHIELD agent like Black Widow is and who might be a major threat."He's adopted" - Painful. Thor is not the ideal character for witty one-liners. On the other hand, Asgardian adoption practices might be something worth exploring in sequels.This list is painful.Tony Stark is Smart - Maria Hill: "When did you become an expert on thermonuclear astrophysics." Tony Stark: "Last night." Tony Stark is really really smart. He's immediately discussing a bunch of smart stuff with Bruce Banner after having spent just a day learning all about thermonuclear astrophysics. This brings up the question of why they even sought out the Hulk for his help to begin with. Tony Stark can get caught up to speed in about a day or so and there's no risk of him going mental and killing everything. It's win-win.There's a difference between reading up the basics of thermonuclear astrophysics in one night and being an expert who's spent several years of his life researching it.Captain America & The Smart Guys - Tony Stark and Bruce Banner are busy discussing Loki's plan for the Tesseract. Captain America: "Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?" And "I'd start with that stick of his. It may be magical but it works a lot like a Hydra-weapon." He has no knowledge of the past seventy years, he needs to stop acting like there's anyway he can contribute apart from just punching people. At least Black Widow never felt the need to try to help. She was smart enough just to stay out of the way.On the other hand, he's making pretty good points and asking useful questions. Also, you need to stop acting like there's anyway you'll be able to make a decent argument against TA with crap like this."I Understood That Reference" - Seriously, you need to be quiet Captain America.Seriously, you need to be quiet.Galaga - The most cringe-worthy of the many failed attempts at humor in this movie. Tony Stark first joking that a SHIELD agent was playing Galaga was funny. But then to later show a SHIELD agent actually playing Galaga, it completely ruins the joke. It is completely out of place in this movie. And why would he go straight back to playing Galaga after having just been publicly called out on it?You're a moron who doesn't get humour.Natalie Portman - Unlike War Machine, the movie actually takes the time to explain where she is, despite the fact that nobody cares and that she wouldn't have been of any use anyway.So.... they shouldn't have mentioned where she was? Also, Thor cares for rather obvious reasons.Black Widow Interrogation - Black Widow goes to talk with Loki. The two talk and Loki starts to say hurtful things to Black Widow. She looks sad, but when she calls him a "monster" and Loki replies with, "Oh no, you brought the monster," it is revealed to be all an act on her part. And with that one line, Black Widow is somehow able to deduce that Loki's plan is to unleash Hulk on the Helicarrier, causing problems. That's quite an assumption based on that one line, especially given that Loki had already talked previously about the Hulk being on the ship. It's not like he exactly said anything new.I'm sorry, are you a master interrogator? What's that? You're not? So you have no idea if there's anything like voice tone, body language or ect that a master interrogator like Black Widow could've spotted to realise Loki's plan involved the Hulk?Loki's Plan - So Loki's plan at this point was to get captured, knowing he would, for some reason, get put onto a large flying boat that the Hulk coincidentally would also be on at the same time. And also all the Avengers would be there as well, a group that Loki shouldn't have any knowledge of giving that they didn't even exist when he came to Earth. All this so Loki could, from the confines of his cell, unleash the Hulk and cause problems for everyone, giving him a distraction so he can set up his magic portal. He's apparently thinking a few moves ahead.Loki's plan was to get captured and seriously mess up SHIELD headquarters so they'd be in no position to oppose him. He knew SHIELD would bring him to their headquarters for interrogation and he knew, from Hawkeye, that it was the Helicarrier. He has no idea that the Avengers will be there (or even what the Avengers are), they're just enemies he needs to take care of, along with SHIELD.SHIELD Has Secrets - Despite the fact that it's well known that there was a lot cut out of this movie for the purposes of not having the movie run too long, they sure seemed to spend a lot of time on Captain America sneaking around and the heroes discussing their discovery that SHIELD wants to use the Tesseract to create weapons, a story line that is pointless and goes nowhere before being dropped entirely.Except it causes tension between teammates, including Cap (towards SHIELD) and Thor (who was the reason SHIELD developed the weapons to ebgin with).They Should Be Suspicious Anyway - SHIELD is a super secret shadowy organization that doesn't seem to answer to anyone or have any accountability or any public presence. And the heroes are surprised that SHIELD may be doing evil stuff and keeping it a secret from them? The real question is why any of the heroes trusted them in the first place.Except the only one who did was Cap. Who's already been shown to be pretty trusting and friendly.Big Man in a Suit of Armor - Captain America: "Take off that and what are you?" How does Captain America think that he has any right to criticize someone who worked hard and became a one-man army all on his own? Stark made his own armor, Captain America is just someone else's science experiment. At least Tony Stark calls him out on it.You seem to have some serious hatred of Cap for some reason. Apparently you seem to think that (despite being a Super Soldier), he's useless as fighting and should never get involved and, despite being shown to be quite smart when it comes to battle plans (as shown in First Avenger), he shouldn't be allowed to say anything either. Get over it.The Invisible Flying Helicarrier Again - Given all the technology they put into hiding this thing, it sure didn't do them any good. It didn't slow down evil Hawkeye and the other bad guys for a second.Who probably have some way to track down Loki. Seeing as he got caught on purpose.Black Widow Can Stop Loki Now! - Now that Black Widow has Loki's evil plan figured out, she can use that information to stop him from unleashing the Hulk. Sure, she's standing around doing nothing for a little while, but she's certainly about to do something about what she recently learned. And... too late. So much for all the work she did figuring out Loki's evil plan all by herself. Next time bother to do something with that information. The whole interrogation scene seems to only exist so that they could show Black Widow contributing something to this movie.Except she immediately walks into Banners room and tells him that he needs to get out. Then everyone starts arguing so Banner won't leave and, before they can get Banner out, Hawkeye attacks.HELICARRIER ATTACKShould Have Just Used Hawkeye - If Loki wanted to cause a lot of chaos and destruction on the Helicarrier, Hawkeye's one arrow did way more damage than unleashing the Hulk.Who said unleashing the Hulk was Loki's only plan for causing chaos?More of Loki's Plan - Now that it's revealed how Loki intended on unleashing the Hulk, would his whole plan have fallen apart if Bruce Banner had just been standing in a different room? One not so close to the explosion?Except Loki wasn't planning on unleashing Hulk with that explosion. As would've been obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together, he was using his sceptre to manipulate Banner and probably cause him to Hulk out. The explosion releasing Hulk was just a lucky break for himStill More of Loki's Plan - And why was unleashing the Hulk even necessary? Loki got his distraction. All the heroes are far away from where he's setting up the portal. Just let them have their fun plane ride and everything will be all set up by the time they're back in America. The aliens will come soon, it's all good.Because, simply damaging the ship wouldn't disable SHIELD as a whole as effectively as Hulk would. Also, there was always the chance Hawkeye would mess up.Plenty of Air to Breathe - Even though they're miles above the Earth, Hawkeye and Captain America seem to run around on top and outside of the Helicarrier just fine. This sticks out especially because the first time they took off, Black Widow had advised Captain America to get inside specifically for this very reason.Because there's a difference between a height impossible to stand outside on and a height uncomfortable to stand outside on. They're not in space.Cap Taking Orders - With the Helicarrier in danger, Iron Man and Captain America immediately go to fix it before it crashes. Iron Man knows what needs to be done and tells Captain America, "I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position." Captain America nods his head and gets to work, as if this kid from the 1940's had any idea what Iron Man was talking about.How do you know he doesn't? We don't know how long Cap's been unfrozen. He could've researched up on modern military equipment/technology.Mjolnir - Seeing as how the Helicarrier can lift up and hold Thor's Hammer just fine, it would appear that the Helicarrier is one of the few who are worthy to carry it.Oh please. It's not like dropping Mjolnir on the ground will cause the earth to fall out of orbit. Why shouldn't a large Helicarrier be that much different.Also, how do you know the 'worthy to carry it' thing doesn't only apply to living beings?Thor in a Cage - Loki tricks Thor into jumping into the Hulk cell, asking the question, "Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Excellent question Loki. I'm sure he'll manage to avoid it on the times that the plot doesn't call for it.How is this even a flaw?Thor Could Get Out - While in the cage, Thor hits his hammer against the cell, causing a substantial spider-web crack in the window. Then, despite his progress, he just stands quietly and waits for his fate, instead of, say, trying it again. Is he worried that the cage is going to be dropped if he tries to escape? That might be an excuse if he didn't just stand there patiently while Loki took his time to drop the cage himself.No, the cage is going to drop if he tries to escape. That's how it works.Dropping Thor - Probably the first time in film history that a villain has tried to kill someone who he knows can fly by dropping him from a high distance.Because flying gives you invulnerability to being dropped in a large metal/glass coffin from a great height.Still Dropping - Would dropping Thor to his death work anyway, even if he did hit the ground? He took a beating from the Hulk without a scratch. In Thor, he fell from the skies unhurt and that was back when he had his powers stripped from him. He should have just waited until he hit and ground and then knocked his way out instead of trying to do it while in the middle of free fall.Even if it didn't kill him, it would badly hurt and it'd be less dangerous for him if he escaped first.Thor Escapes - See how good it can work out if you just try things again? If only he had done that earlier while he was still on board.Then the cage would've dropped anyway. Because that's how it works.Cage for the Hulk - The cage Thor escaped out of pretty easily doesn't seem nearly strong enough to hold the Hulk.That's because it's not supposed to hold the Hulk, it's supposed to eject him if he tries to break out of it."So That's What It Does" - Brilliant on Loki's part to stand right in front of the big gun that the not-dead-guy is holding. This is clear foreshadowing to his later confrontation with the Hulk.You mean the guy with the gaping hole in his chest who might not even be alive? Yes, Loki should definitely keep an eye out for him..."Captain, The Lever!" - Needing something to show that Captain America actually serves a purpose, he's given the daunting task of pulling a lever.Seriously, what if with your Cap hate? Did a Captain America cosplayer murder your father or something?That Gun - Certainly could have made more use of that thing. Give it to Black Widow instead of making her run around with those small handguns.Because hey, let's give all our agents highly experimental, overly powerful guns! Especially those who are reliant on speed and gymnastics! Don't see that backfiring!THE AFTERMATH"This Was Never Going to Work If They Didn't Have Something To..." - Something to what?! How could he just die right there?! You have to say! Oh the suspense!Because someone dying without finishing their sentence is such a flaw that it's no wonder no other movies ever use it. Oh wait.What About Hulk? - After the Helicarrier is working again and the bad guys are gone, everyone sits around moping. Why is nobody concerned about the current state and location of the Hulk? He's out there all Hulked out. Shouldn't somebody do something?Because they totally have the current resources/power to go after the Hulk. And Hulk is obviously more important to deal with than Loki.Also, if they were likely over abandoned land, due to the whole 'top secret' helicarrier thing.Nick Fury Giving Them Something to... - Fury is still obsessed with making this team. So Nick Fury's plan is to guilt two of the six heroes into working together to avenge Coulson's death. Sure, they were all bickering earlier, but when the alien invasion comes, would they really not work together to stop it? If not for Coulson's sacrifice, would they really just be like, "Aliens? I'm outta here!" Iron Man and Captain America worked together pretty spectacularly to save the Helicarrier, and that was before Coulson died. And they also worked together to fight Loki the first time around. Would their actions really have been any different for the rest of the movie just because they didn't have Coulson's death to avenge? What sort of heroes are these? Character development does not get much more artificial than this.They were already faced with a threat both of them wanted to take care of in the form of Loki and they didn't get along.And Speaking of Coulson - Did any of them really know Coulson at all? Captain America knew him for about a day. The rest had had brief passings with him. But apparently this one man's death is supposed to mean more to these people than the eighty deaths that were stated by Black Widow before the Helicarrier attack and the several that must have happened during it. What sort of heroes are these?Coulson was already well known by Tony and a close friend, as well as his usual liason. Cap only knew him a short time, but he made a big impression, what with designing Cap's current costume and the whole trading cards thing. Thor also knew him from the Destroyer incident and thought of him as a friend. He was a close work colleague of Black Widow and Hawkeye. Admittedly, he probably didn't do anything for Bruce (who probably didn;t even know he died), but 5/6 is pretty good.Loki's Next Step - Tony Stark: "Loki is a diva who wants an audience. I know exactly where he is!" That's about as big of a leap as the time Black Widow used a line Loki had said to figure out his plan. It's not less ridiculous just because they're right for the sake of the plot.The logic they use is sound and they've got nothing else to go on. Just saying it's stupid doesn't make it so.Pick Up Your Hammer Thor - Thor find his hammer sitting in a deserted field. He goes to pick it up:Yes he does. Your point?Loki's Still Ahead - And just like when Black Widow figured out Loki's plan, figuring out the next step this time also did the team no good. By the time they get the chance to do anything about it, Loki has already enacted everything, making it useless that the brilliant Tony Stark figured out Loki's plan in the first place. In fact, had all the heroes just sat back and done absolutely nothing up to this point, everything would more or less be exactly the same right now. Well, Agent Coulson would probably be alive still, but besides from that...Oh. And armies of aliens would've invaded, conquering the entire the planet. There's that little thing too.Stark Security - Some people might be inclined to believe that billionaire tech-genius and super-villain target Tony Stark would have a decent security system built into his residence to prevent bad guys from breaking in and building inter-dimensional wormholes for alien armies to come through and kill everyone, but they would be wrong.His residence which is still under construction and was pointed out to have security issues at the beginning of the film? (Remember the 'sweaty builders in my private elevator thing?)Oh Look, Hawkeye is Good - People sure seem quick to buy Hawkeye's sudden change from evil to good. And why not? Black Widow punched him really hard and everything.Except he's still been restrained, just in case. It's only after Black Widow (aka, the Master interrogator) agrees that he's fine that they release him. Also, peoples eyes change colour when mind controlled, remember? That's kinda noticable.Tony Stark's Armor - Tony Stark goes back to his place to find Loki. He takes off his armor, because that's what you do when faced with a god who has been trying to kill you. Sure it was banged up, but a little armor is still going to be more useful than no armor when a god is trying to kill you.Banged up, at low power and there's another armour inside which can quickly be deployed and it of more use in almost every way. Tony just needs to keep Loki busy for a few minutes which, Loki being the large ham he is, isn't going to be very difficult for him.Battle of Wits - Loki: "I have an army." Tony Stark: "We have a Hulk." They have a Hulk? Does he mean the giant monster who has no control over himself who just tried to kill his teammates, who nearly brought down the Helicarrier, who just fell out of an airplane miles up in the air and hasn't been seen since? They have that guy?While it's possible he's just trying to unnerve Loki, remember that Tony, later during the battle, has faith that Banner (who found out the location before he hulked) will turn up.Tony Stark's New Armor - Tony Stark sure is lucky that even though Loki was holding his scepter to his chest and could have just killed him exactly how he just killed Coulson, Loki instead decides to throw him out the window, probably the single one way that would allow him to not die.Loki was angry, angry people tend to do emotional things like throw people out the window and he had no idea throwing Tony out the window would be any less effective than stabbing him.NEW YORK ATTACKChitauri Aliens - They could have done anything with them but instead just made them boring dog creatures.You're a moron with no sense of design.Chitauri Alien Army - They seem about as strong as your average person, making their threat pretty non-existent, especially given their small numbers. And their plan of riding around in circles and shooting parked cars didn't really seem like it was going to achieve anything in the long run. Super-heroes were not necessary to handle these guys. In fact, they probably took longer than the military would to take care of them just because the heroes are so insistent on hand-to-hand combat as opposed to using guns which would wipe out the aliens quickly and easily.They're obviously stronger than regular humans, heavily armed with better technology (which possibly have limitless ammuniation), they're trained soldiers, there are obviously a lot of them they have giant space worms of death and they caught us mostly off guard. I think out military would be kinda screwedTony Stark likes Bruce Banner - Tony Stark: "Has Banner showed up yet?" Why was Tony Stark so certain that the Hulk was going to be on their side, especially given what just happened? And what evidence is there even to support that he's still alive?Because Tony knows Bruce. Also, Hulk is practically indestructible. Of course he was going to still be alive.Ashley Johnson - The fixation on this extra was distracting.Only if you have the attention span of a three year old.Thor Is Back! - Thor's back to take on Loki! But how is this? He didn't even know about Coulson's bloody trading cards, so what possible reason could he have for returning and fighting alongside the others?First, Loki is still his enemy and second, he saw Loki stab Coulson personallyYou Should Listen to the Nice Captain - Cop: "Why the hell should I take orders from you?" A perfectly valid question. It would be much more questionable if cops just took orders from this unknown costumed man in the middle of an alien invasion. But when the aliens start to attack and Captain America fights them off with ease, it's painfully clear where this exchange is headed. The cop turns around and follows Captain America's orders, having been convinced to trust him very quickly because of his fighting abilities. Hilarious... What made it so much worse was how long they dragged it out given the punchline couldn't have been any more obvious.Simply saying it's bad doesn't make it bad. Moron.Hulk Am Back! - Bruce Banner shows back up again. How did he manage to get to New York so fast given that the Helicarrier was still so far away (as evidenced by how long it took the jet carrying the nuke to get from the Helicarrier to New York)? And he didn't know of Coulson's death, so why is he wasting his time here? He has nothing to avenge!He still wants to stop Loki, remember? Also, if I remember correctly, the nuke jet got there pretty damn fast after taking off.Hulk Find You - Armed with nothing more than his trusty motorcycle, Bruce Banner seems to know the exact spot on the exact block of the exact street where all of his friends currently are. No biggie. He is a brilliant scientist after all.That, or he spotted Tony/Thor in the sky and followed them.Yes, He's Back. Move on! - Despite the fact that the city is under massive attack by aliens, everyone just decides to stand around looking all dreamy eyed at each other when Bruce Banner returns. "Hey, we're back as a family again! I missed you guys!"They're waiting to get a plan together, perhaps?"I don't see how that's a party." - No. Just no.Funny. That's what I said about this listNice Hulk - The biggest issue of the movie. At first, Hulk was really mean and out of control and tried to kill the good guys. But now, Hulk is nice and takes orders pretty well and nobody really seemed to give this a second thought, not even the people he just tried to kill. Speculation on why this is ranges to several different theories, most of which involve speculation that Loki must have some additional unseen power that is never used or mentioned anywhere else. But ultimately this just exists so the the Hulk can be whatever the plot needs him to be at the moment, first a villain, then a hero.Either that, or because Banner chose to go Hulk, he managed to 'aim' him enough that he only went after the Chitauri. Like in The Incredible Hulk.Falling Monsters - When the heroes are about to be crushed by a giant monster because the Hulk doesn't have a basic understanding of physics, unlike his alter-ego, they should at least try to run out from underneath it instead of just sitting there waiting to die.Or wait for Tony and Thor to stop it, like they obviously would've/did.Hulk's Stretchy Pants - Okay, so Bruce Banner steals new clothes and the motorcycle he rode in on, sure. But where did he manage to get a hold of his stretchy pants? It's hard to imagine that those are just lying around all over the place for him to grab a pair.Clothes store. There are a lot of fat people in AmericaCaptain America is Their Leader Now - How did he earn this position? Because he fought in World War 2 for a few months 70 years ago? He knows nothing of the time, very little of the land, and has the least amount of experience fighting non-human enemies of the whole group. There's been no examples or indication in the present day that Captain America would be any good at leading a team at all, much less a team of super-heroes against an army of aliens. War-Machine would probably be a great asset here, but anyone except for the Hulk would have probably been a better leader.Because, having been the leader of an elite squad in WWII, he's very tactically minded, as is shown by... him giving out tactics.. Tony is smart scientifically, Thor is that smart at all, Black Widow's a spy and Hawkeye prefers to be given orders than to give them.Captain America's Plan - As evidence of the last point, the orders Captain America gives were pretty useless. They mostly consisted of telling people to go to certain areas and fight the aliens there. A good plan would involve finding a way to close the portal instead of wasting time fighting the non-stop onslaught of aliens that keep coming. He's just lucky that the aliens are way worse at warfare than he is.Except, as far as they know, there's no way to destroy the portal. Tony already tried. Cap's plan is to limit the damage as much as possible until reinforcements arrive.Black Widow Hitching A Ride - Yes, that seemed like something that was possible.Yes it does. Glad we agree.Steering - Turns out that steering one of these hover carts consists of stabbing a Chitauri in the back and moving them around like a steering wheel. Good thing that was exactly what Black Widow tried first then.That, or she's using the dead Chitauri who had his hands on the steering wheel to steer it by using his dead body to move the steering wheel. As would've been obvious to anyone with eyes.Robbing the Bank - Why were the Chitauri gathering up people in the bank just to kill them? They had far more pressing issues at the moment. Not that killing this small group of people would have achieved anything for them anyway.Saves ammunition, saves them running about causing problems later, kills them all at once instead of getting them into a panic and possibly leading to some escaping. There are plenty of reasons."Can You Hear Me Now?" - Despite having no ear-pieces, all the heroes can communication with each other when they're great distances apart by just talking like they were all standing right next to each other.That's 2.Puny God - So the villain of the story, despite planning out everything in detail and being several steps ahead of the heroes the entire time, gets defeated because he wasn't bright enough to not stand within arms reach of the Hulk, or even to just move when he sees the Hulk reaching for him. He was never outsmarted. He wasn't even outfought. He did absolutely everything right for the whole movie, and then he just stood too close to the Hulk. What a pathetic and disappointing defeat. They threw away what could have been a great fight between the heroes and their villain, all for a joke.Except they already had multiple great fights between the heroes and Loki. They didn't need another. Also did you miss the fight with Thor that happened just a few minutes earlier.Loki's Not Dead - The Hulk just walks away and leaves Loki lying there, clearly alive. This behavior would be expected from Loki, but not from a good guy.Hulk doesn't give a crap if tiny man still breathes. Hulk just wants to smash.Loki's Deliciously Evil Plan - Now that we've pretty much seen it all, what was his plan? To take over the world? Like a Power Rangers villain? Okay, but what does "taking over the world" actually consist of? Was he going to enslave the human race for cheap labor? The alien army he had would probably be much better workers if that was his goal, and he seemed to already have control over them anyway. Or was he just going to spend his days sitting in a chair while people came over and kneeled in front of him? He does seem to like that. It would have been nice if he had any sort of motivation that isn't normally exclusive to children's cartoons.Power? Revenge against Thor? His own planet to enslave and rule? Killing you for being a moron?Hey, Here's An Off-Switch - After Slevig is cured of his mind control with that old hit to the head, he reveals that despite being under Loki's mind control, there was still enough of him in there to develop an off-switch for the portal that's letting all the aliens in. That is ridiculously lucky and convenient! Sure was nice of that man under mind control to do that. So that fixes that problem. But there's still the little issue of how to deal with the massive amounts of aliens already here. There's no way the heroes are going to get this lucky again...Because you'd have preferred it if the portal stayed open and the aliens conquered the world? They needed to get the portal shut and that was a perfectly logical way to do so. You calling it a flaw doesn't make it so.NUCLEAR BOMBWow - That's an incredible overreaction. "They'll kill everyone if we don't nuke them." They do know what a nuclear bomb does, right? Did they even see how weak these aliens were before deciding to just go and kill everyone? The aliens were never any sort of substantial threat.Do I even need to point out how this is stupid? The giant army of technologically advanced, militarily trained aliens were never a threat were they?Shadow Council - Who are these people that they would have this sort of authority to demand such a measure be taken? Who would grant this organization access to their nuclear weapons anyway? They better get some serious reprimands over this one.They have command over SHIELD so it's unsurprising they have the authority to fire a nuke.The Bomber - What soldier would follow the order to destroy New York? And there were actually two of them as well!Just following orders. Also, the planet may be conquered if he doesn't.Stop them Nick Fury! - Fury manages to stop one plane with a rocket launcher. He sees another plane and pulls out his gun, considering trying to shoot at it, but then figures that doing so probably won't achieve anything, so he lets the plane go, as it's better just to let them nuke New York than to bother to try.That or he realises it's impossible to shoot it down and decides to use his time more productively to stop the nuke.Two of Them - Why did they need two planes anyway? Were they going to nuke New York twice?In case something happened to the first one?Iron Man's Sacrifice - Iron Man is on his way to deliver the nuclear bomb to the alien mothership. Captain America: "You know that's a one-way trip." No, Iron Man doesn't know that. There's zero evidence to suggest this. They were trying to make it seem like Tony Stark was making the decision to sacrifice himself to save millions, but there was never any indication in the slightest that he couldn't just go through the portal and then come right back out of it again, especially seeing as how that's exactly what he ends up doing.Tony's suit isn't designed for space travel and there's no guarantee he'll escape the nuke's blast radiousKilling All the Bad Guys - But then again, there was also never any indication that there was a mothership on the other side of that portal that would make all the aliens die whenever anyone launched a nuclear missile at it (probably why the Shadow Council didn't try it), and the heroes were right about that one. Was there ever any point that the Chitauri thought this may have been a bad idea? "Okay sir, you can have your setup where every soldier dies as soon if the mothership gets destroyed, but in that case, can we at least maybe keep the mothership in the back? Like far away maybe? No? You want it right up front where any jet propulsion system can get to it? Okay, you're the boss..."Maybe the Chitauri didn't think we had anything powerful enough to destroy it?Losing Power - Iron Man's suit is brand new. He just put it on twenty minutes ago. Maybe if he had learned an earlier lesson and realized that his suit can actually hold 400% as much power as he thought, he wouldn't be about to die right now.He just spent the last few minutes fighting (which tends to use a lot of power) and he got swallowed by a space worm, which did a lot of damage.Closing the Portal - Iron Man goes in. Everyone on the ground knows that whatever he did killed all the aliens. And then Captain America immediately wants to close it? All the aliens are dead, there's no more threat. Can't he just keep it open for a couple of minutes to see if Iron Man comes back? What's the harm at this point?Maybe the nuke's blast radius?Falling Tony - Iron Man comes back through the portal (without even trying, stupid Captain America). He's falling to his death. Thor readies himself to save him. But then why didn't he? Hulk eventually catches him, but by the time Thor realizes that, it would have been too late for him to do anything about it. He didn't even try...Except no it wouldn't. Besides, Thor needs to twirl his hammer to take off anywayBringing Iron Man Back to Life - How did Hulk's scream manage to re-power the Iron Man suit? Like a lot of areas of this movie, it doesn't need to make sense as long as someone believes it's funny.It didn't repower the suit, it just brought Tony back to life. Admittedly though, that kinda bugged me to so I'll give you another for that. That's 3.People Need Help - New York City has suffered a pretty devastating attack. There's probably a ton of people at the moment who are buried under rubble and could use the help of the heroes to not die, but the heroes just sit around joking about Shawarma.Except they're completely exhausted and unlikely to be of much use is rescue efforts, unlike the aid which has probably already arrived.ENDINGThey're Still In Charge - So even after all that, Nick Fury is still answering to the Shadow Council. Sigh... What's the point of all of them having such poor lighting anyway?To remain anonymous. Why else?Natalie Portman Again - At this point all the bad guys are taken care of and everything is fine. Why not just stop by and see Natalie Portman for a few minutes?Because it's safer to get rid of Loki and the Tesseract as quickly as possible?The News - Although never stated, it wouldn't be reaching to assume that thousands were killed in this attack. There was also a giant portal that opened up over New York and let in an invading alien army that tried to take over the planet. Given this, it does appear that there are more pressing news stories to focus on rather than just showing clips of "I love you Thor!" and "Iron Man was so cool!" And CNN wonders why nobody watches their network anymore.Except that obviously wasn't the news broadcast immediately after the attack. That was likely after things had settled down some and it was alright to talk about it.Loki in Custody - Why weren't they using Thor's magic handcuffs the first time they captured Loki?They were. Remember when they escorted Loki through the helicarrier to his cage?Sure You Can Have Loki - How can Shield just give Loki back to the Asgards without having any control or say in making sure he won't be able to come back again? Why wasn't he tried for all the crimes he committed? Loki does not have diplomatic immunity. This is even more bothersome given that Loki was already in Thor's world at the end of Thor where he escaped from to cause all these problems in the first place. What makes them think Loki can't or won't just do it again? And by the way, they were sending Loki back... with the Tesseract! How much more incompetent can SHIELD and the heroes get? They deserve whatever Thanos is about to bring down on them.Because otherwise it would cause problems with Asgard. Besides, they have no guarantee their prisons can hold Loki.He's Still In Charge - Shadow Council: "It wasn't your call to let Thor take the Tesseract and the war criminal who should be answering for his crimes." After pretty much ignoring and disobeying every order he's given over the course of the movie, Nick Fury isn't fired, demoted, reprimanded, or even given a tongue lashing. Why does Nick Fury think that the Tesseract is safer in the hands of an alien race, as opposed to in his own care? Especially given that it's a member of that race that just tried to use the Tesseract to take over the world. It's acceptance of insubordination like this that leads people to believe it's okay to just start dropping nuclear bombs wherever they want.Because they don't want to draw attention to the fact that they ordered a nuclear strike on NY?Sending A Message - Nick Fury: "The Whole World Knows It. Every World Knows It." Nick Fury is all pleased with himself because his Avenger team saved the day and now all other alien races will think twice before messing with Earth! Only, the Avengers did next to nothing while it was the nuclear bomb that really did all the work, something Earth already had a bunch of. Avengers weren't needed. Just know where to aim those bombs and it'll be fine.Still shows every world that Earth isn't to be messed with.OTHERLoki's Mind Control - What a ridiculous power this is. This is like something that kids would play on the playground. "Tag, you're on our team now!" But even so, if the power is there, Loki might as well make use of it, something he barely did. He took control of a couple of guys that he needed for his evil plans, but that was it. He had great opportunities to get Nick Fury and Captain America, of which he never bothered to try. They would have been great allies to have. If he has gained control of Nick Fury, he'd basically be fully in charge of SHIELD, making his goals pretty easy to achieve at that point. Imagine how much more powerful he would have been if he had gained control of the Hulk. That's a decent weapon to have. He did none of that. He used it three times altogether when he could have made so much more use of it. But the worst part about the whole thing was the cure that consists of getting hit in the head. It's almost like this power was only designed only for plot purposes so the filmmakers could have a way to change people between good and evil at the flip of a switch while spending as little as time as possible explaining how that would be. But that couldn't be it, right? And besides, that still doesn't explain the Hulk's personality changes.Are you serious? You're seriously calling 'mind-control' a ridiculous power and claiming it's somehow a flaw? I don't even think there's a word for how stupid you are. Also, I'd point out he didn't really get a chance to use it on anyone useful and, considering the person's eyes change when mind-controlled he couldn't use it on anyone like Fury without being found out.Man Out of Time - There's one character in this movie where the audience is likely to leave that character's previous solo movie with the strong desire to want to see what happens to him next. Captain America. At the end of Captain America, he was frozen in ice for decades and thawed out in the present. Exploring how he adjusts to the present day, given that everything he knew is gone, would have been the most interesting personal story of all the characters. But the movie doesn't delve into any depth with him at all. He's only there to fight while not even touching upon all of that "waking up in the future to a world he doesn't know" stuff. There's a couple of comedic lines thrown in there about how Captain America doesn't know about certain modern things, such as Pilates, but that's as far as the movie goes with that. Iron Man, Hulk and Black Widow all had personal side-stories in the movie, even if they weren't significant. But Captain America, the one character who needed a little time spent to his own story... he got nothing. There wasn't even a "Hey Tony, I think I knew your grandfather."Because this is the Avengers, not Captain America. Cap's fish-out-of-waterness didn't need to be explained here and will be covered better in Winter Soldier.Where Were the Characters? - There was no depth or complexity to anybody. There was plenty of opportunity for it, but every time anything seemed to be headed in that direction, they would just throw in a silly joke and ruin it. All that the viewers were subjected to was playful banter for the whole movie at the expense of having any scenes of actual character substance. Everyone was so completely flat. There's just a bunch of wise-cracks instead of bothering to have any sort of real human interactions. They would fight and spout jokes about their situation. That's all. As if the thought was, "Hey, the people already like these characters, so why waste time on that stuff when there's all this cool fighting we could do?"Uh, saying 'there were no characters' doesn't make it true. No matter how much you say it.That Dialogue - Tying into the last point... Iron Man is a smart alec. That's who he is. Which of the other characters are like that? None of them. Until The Avengers that is. Now, they're all sarcastic and witty and end every scene with some comedic one-liner. The lines usually felt forced, out of character and over the top. Even Tony Stark's sarcastic attitude was way overboard here. The biggest change probably had to do with Coulson. What was a serious government agent in the previous movies, is suddenly a comedic fanboy-like caricature here, completely giddy over Captain America. It's completely inconsistent with how his character and all the characters were portrayed in the previous movies.Because people never have multiple sides to them. Besides, aside from Tony, the only person who became more witty/sarcastic was Black Widow. Also, saying 'the lines usually felt forced' doesn't make that true either.The Bad Guy - Whereas Loki was villainous but sympathetic in Thor, here he's just all out evil. "Come on minions, time to go be evil!" From his plan to rule the world to his constant evil grin, he went from being a person in Thor to just being a cartoon villain (not a comic book villain mind you, those guys are way more sophisticated than this). He was entirely one-dimensional. He was an angry child who really wanted a planet to rule really really bad and was so mad at those people who wouldn't let him. He never came off as threatening or dangerous. "Oh no! He's making that crowd kneel! How evil!" Maybe Thanos will be better.I can't believe I have to say this again, but saying he's now a cartoon villain, or is never threatening/dangerous doesn't make it true.Will the Good Guys Lose? - Also tying into the previous point. A large issue with this movie was that there was never any sense of danger or threat at any point in this movie. None of the characters seemed to think that any of this was a big deal. They were constantly cracking-wise throughout the whole thing. It was too jokey and comedic for any sense of danger to seep through. Hulk was playfully punching Thor in the middle of an alien invasion. Coulson waited patiently on the phone while Black Widow was busy beating up bad guys. No character in this movie ever took their situation seriously, so neither does the viewer. And afterall, why should they? Everyone was next to invincible, even the human characters. Black Widow got backhanded by the Hulk. She was fine. She even had a gash on her forehead that healed in a couple of hours. Captain America and Hawkeye let out some groans after some taking some big hits, but that's about as bad as things got. Everyone was all pretty indestructible and at that point they just become story devices to move things along.You can say that about most family films.No Plot - Story was next to non-existent in this movie. And what little of it there was only seemed to exist to move the movie from set-piece to set-piece. This movie was more like separate individual sequences that had been strung together in hopes of making some sort of cohesive whole rather than being a complete movie itself. This movie was about as simplistic and dumbed-down as possible, making the entire experience unfulfilling and forgettable . It would be nice if there was more to say on this matter, but there's not a whole lot to comment on the story and plot given that there's hardly any there to begin with. Plotting and cohesiveness weren't just put second, they were completely ignored. It's how a list like this can exist.Altogether now! 'Simply saying there's no story doesn't make it true!'

 So out of over 100 points against the Avengers, only 3 were valid. Well done.

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Posted

Enough with the friggin' meme posters!

 

There're not going to persuade anyone to like/dislike TDKR/TA/whatever and all they do is make you and Squaremaster look like childish pricks. So cut it out!

 

Of course, I'm convinced you and Squaremaster are the same person just trolling us, so this likely isn't going to be of any use, but it's worth a try.

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