Baywatch (2017)

[baumer]

DISCUSS

[SteveJaros]

Saw this film today. I know, we're supposed to be spouting rainbows and sunshine around here, but my conscience gets the best of me:

 

Frankly, I can't remember the last time i saw a theatrical release this bad, and I see about 130  a year. Terrible in every way. Not funny, stilted dialogue, ridiculous characters, dreadful SFX, zero plot coherence. I like the Rock, really like him, and his presence helps not in the least. If your scale had an F- grade that's what it would get.  And that's starting from a generous "grade it as a fun summer popcorn movie not a work of art" basis.  I'm stunned it has a 12% tomato rating right now. That's WAY too high.

 

19/1000. 

Edited May 25, 2017 by SteveJaros

[cheesypoofs]

Saw this last night. I thought it was really funny. Fuck the critics

[Water Bottle]

I wouldn't say I laughed as much as I chuckled throughout the movie. It was a passable way to spend the time. Brody's character arc wasn't properly developed.

 

B-

[filmlover]

No one would ever say that Baywatch, the inexplicably popular TV series from the 90s, was actually any good. But this movie, which tries to put a comic spin on it, somehow succeeds in making it look good in comparison. I laughed twice and that was it. The rest of the time, I was just cringing at the sophomoric shenanigans going on that would feel more at home on a third rate sitcom than a theatrical release. Dwayne Johnson gives it his best shot but even his charisma can't save material this stale, while an over-muscled Zac Efron just preens like he's doing a photoshoot in every scene (the movie's running gag is having The Rock call Efron every teeny bopper name ever, sometimes more than once in the same scene; yes, this movie is that creatively bankrupt), and they have no chemistry with each other. Only Josh Gad clone Jon Bass deserves to be mentioned among the rest of the young cast, if only because his character is not as much of a scene-stealer as the movie thinks he is. The only one who impresses is Priyanka Chopra, who definitely has undeniable screen presence, but she doesn't have enough screentime (nor does she ever come across as such a threat). At least the beach photography (mostly shot in Florida) is nice. If you want to watch a comedy that mocks a ridiculous drama series from the 80s or 90s, just watch Phil Lord and Chris Miller's vastly superior Jump Street movies again instead. D

[baumer]

This is much better than Jump Street imo.  

 

I went to see a comedy and I saw a pretty good one.  The chemistry between the Rock and Efron is excellent, regardless of what reviewers like filmlover will tell you.  They have a rapport with one another that makes you connect with them in a film that is all kinds of over top ridiculous.  I never watched the TV show but I know all about the slo-mo running and beautiful bodies and so on.  This film has fun with that as it has some very tongue in cheek direction and the script allows them to make fun of themselves and of the original show.  It's the kind of film that doesn't need a lot of analysis.  You either get the humour or you don't.  I enjoyed the humour and I enjoyed the cast.  Having Daddario in this is another positive.  She is insanely beautiful and she fits right in with this setting.  Also terrific with some scene stealing scenes are Kelly Rorhbach as the new CJ and John Bass as the chubby wannabe lifeguard.  Kelly is just straight up stunning to look at but she has some excellent chemistry with Bass.  And Bass is perhaps the best part of the early part of the film.  I think we'll seeing more of him in the future.  

 

Baywatch is fun, funny, has some good action scenes and is overall a great summer film that I'd recommend to anyone looking for a good time.

 

8/10

[Maxmoser3]

No Jump Street, but I thought it was a pretty damn good. Very funny, and had great performances from the rock and Zac Efron. Liked the villain, New CJ was hot as hell , great to David Hasselhoff and Pam do a cameo in there, and the action was pretty good as well. Overall Baywatch should definitely be one I would pick up on DVD/bluray in the early fall. Grade:B+

[RandomCat]

An exercise in seeing how much a movie can rest on the shoulders of Dwyane Johnson's shoulders. Turns out a lot. With a terrible plot, jumps in plot progression and odd character growth, the Rock's charisma and acting carry the brunt of this movie. And unlike another more fun than it should be movie staring Johnson, there isn't a personality black hole in its center. Everyone does their job, and well.

In that C range, I can see how bad this movie is, but I don't regret watching it.

[The Panda]

Lol, it's not a good movie.  The only thing the movie has going for it are the watchable leading trio really.

 

The movie is insultingly stupid, there are a few moments where it tries to act aware of how stupid it is, and it just makes it worse.  It'd be okay if it was comically stupid, but it's not.  I chuckled a few times, and I laughed at one scene, the rest is pretty dull.

 

I also really didn't like any of the characters in the movie.  I probably liked Efron's the most, but even his arc is fairly jolted.  The Rock is charismatic but I mostly innerly groaned and cringed at the antics going on.

 

D+

[WrathOfHan]

Baywatch is a disposable studio comedy. It's not as bad as some people are saying, but it isn't a good movie. If the middle hour+ of the film didn't suck, this might have been decent. 5/10 | C

[DeeCee]

On 28/05/2017 at 9:09 PM, baumer said:

This is much better than Jump Street imo.  

 

I went to see a comedy and I saw a pretty good one.  The chemistry between the Rock and Efron is excellent, regardless of what reviewers like filmlover will tell you.  They have a rapport with one another that makes you connect with them in a film that is all kinds of over top ridiculous.  I never watched the TV show but I know all about the slo-mo running and beautiful bodies and so on.  This film has fun with that as it has some very tongue in cheek direction and the script allows them to make fun of themselves and of the original show.  It's the kind of film that doesn't need a lot of analysis.  You either get the humour or you don't.  I enjoyed the humour and I enjoyed the cast.  Having Daddario in this is another positive.  She is insanely beautiful and she fits right in with this setting.  Also terrific with some scene stealing scenes are Kelly Rorhbach as the new CJ and John Bass as the chubby wannabe lifeguard.  Kelly is just straight up stunning to look at but she has some excellent chemistry with Bass.  And Bass is perhaps the best part of the early part of the film.  I think we'll seeing more of him in the future.  

 

Baywatch is fun, funny, has some good action scenes and is overall a great summer film that I'd recommend to anyone looking for a good time.

 

8/10

Decision made. I'm seeing Baywatch instead of WW for a second time. 

 

 

[Jay Beezy]

Boy, this was frustrating.

 

Definite issues with the tone. Cheap shoehorned humor already shown in the trailers. Self-aware jokes that seem to start but are never developed. A plotline involving a villain that's thin as fuck and takes up way too much screentime (I don't give a shit about who plays the villain, that's not we want from Baywatch). Underdeveloped female supporting characters (how the fuck one doesn't give Alexandra Daddario as much exposure as possible in a Baywatch movie is a bewildering). Shoddily done action sequences played too straight (if you're going to have a lousy CGI fire sequence in a movie meant to be a self-aware satire, at least address that in the movie).

 

The Rock and Zac Efron have solid chemistry, but this concept does not work as a buddy movie. It needed to be a character ensemble involving both them *and* the female lifeguards. As campy as the show was, it was always an ensemble where all kinds of characters had plotlines however silly they were.

 

I honestly think it could have worked as a comedy if they had taken a different approach. This was not the approach to take.

 

D

[Jay Beezy]

On 5/27/2017 at 11:37 PM, filmlover said:

No one would ever say that Baywatch, the inexplicably popular TV series from the 90s, was actually any good. But this movie, which tries to put a comic spin on it, somehow succeeds in making it look good in comparison. I laughed twice and that was it. The rest of the time, I was just cringing at the sophomoric shenanigans going on that would feel more at home on a third rate sitcom than a theatrical release. Dwayne Johnson gives it his best shot but even his charisma can't save material this stale, while an over-muscled Zac Efron just preens like he's doing a photoshoot in every scene (the movie's running gag is having The Rock call Efron every teeny bopper name ever, sometimes more than once in the same scene; yes, this movie is that creatively bankrupt), and they have no chemistry with each other. Only Josh Gad clone Jon Bass deserves to be mentioned among the rest of the young cast, if only because his character is not as much of a scene-stealer as the movie thinks he is. The only one who impresses is Priyanka Chopra, who definitely has undeniable screen presence, but she doesn't have enough screentime (nor does she ever come across as such a threat). At least the beach photography (mostly shot in Florida) is nice. If you want to watch a comedy that mocks a ridiculous drama series from the 80s or 90s, just watch Phil Lord and Chris Miller's vastly superior Jump Street movies again instead. D

 

Don't you think that should mean she should have had *less* screentime? 

[filmlover]

2 hours ago, Jay Beezy said:

 

Don't you think that should mean she should have had *less* screentime? 

Priyanka's pretty much the only good thing about this movie because at least she shows she's got a lot of screen presence (hail @CJohn) even though she's miscast as a villain. I think she would fit perfectly into romcoms, I'm not surprised that her next Hollywood movie actually is one (the Rebel Wilson movie Isn't It Romantic).

[Jay Beezy]

42 minutes ago, filmlover said:

Priyanka's pretty much the only good thing about this movie because at least she shows she's got a lot of screen presence (hail @CJohn) even though she's miscast as a villain. I think she would fit perfectly into romcoms, I'm not surprised that her next Hollywood movie actually is one (the Rebel Wilson movie Isn't It Romantic).

 

To me, she was only as good as her character's presence allowed her to be and her character's presence was problematic for the movie. It's not a knock on her specifically. It's just presumptuous of the filmmakers to think more Priyanka as the villain was better for the movie. It's almost like they were scared of whiny Priyanka fanatics complaining about too little screen time (you saw how they whined about how little she was featured in the early trailers).

[Avatree]

I maybe laughed twice. I like Dwayne Johnson very much and Zac Efron too but they really can't hold this rubbish together. It's way too long and didn't need all the action / spy stuff. But the main crime is just not making me laugh.

 

I can forgive this though because of the things it made me think about that blonde one... man.

[John Rambo]

Baywatch is movie which can be watched if your not sure what you wanna do or gonna do during one of those lazy weekends. 

None of the cast impresses, the best part of the movie is the way beach scenes were shot it looked pretty cool at times. 

 

Minor/few laughs here n there. Overall doesnt bode well for a franchisee. 

The Rock tries hard to save the movie but no even his charisma cannot save a ship which was on verge sinking even before it was incorporated!

3/10

[Rorschach]

It's a dumb film but it's at least self-aware of how dumb it is. Don't know why anyone expected less.

C+

[zozo]

It is a nice afternoon comedy with some R-rated elements. Jump Street remake was better.

4/10

[RobinHood26]

Beyond awful

 

D-