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SUR(VI)VOR Ep. 3: Player Count Has Fallen

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@captainwondyful @chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @DAJK @Fancyarcher @Keanu @Kjtc @PanaMovie @Rorschach @Sheikh @StarWarsMemer @Thanos Legion @YourMother the Edgelord @ZeeSoh


*All of the contestants are on a stadium track, lined up at the starting line, facing an obstacle course.*

Kjtc: Ugh… Nobody said we’d have to run… I hate running…

ZeeSoh: Dude. It’s Survivor. There’s physical challenges. What did you expect?


*SLAM! faces the competitors.*

SLAM!: Hello, Survivors! Today, you’ll be racing through an obstacle course! There’s hurdles, inspired by Overcomer… then a table where you have to make a peanut butter sandwich, inspired by The Peanut Butter Falcon… then there’s a booth where you have to determine if a food item is ready or not, inspired by Ready Or Not… Then at the end of the obstacle course, you have to sing the American National Anthem, and that’s inspired by Angel Has Fallen

chasmmi: Well, isn’t that creative…

StarWarsMemer: Hey! It’s a perfectly fine challenge! The production team probably needed the space for a cheaper challenge, especially after the last one!


SLAM!: But before we start… Among the six of you who didn’t participate last week… Who will not be participating in this challenge?


*Everyone stares at @Avatree, @baumer, @Darth Lehnsherr, @MrGamer, @Premium George, and @Wrath.*


Avatree: I’m sorry, Team Asgard… After that Flash Fight, I decided that I didn’t wanna disappoint my team… So I decided I didn’t wanna play anymore… That, and I really was afraid of those cars…

baumer: Hey, everyone! Um… Yeah, I don’t wanna play. I had my fill of the game last season. And I’m sure I would’ve gone pretty far if I had played this season, but… Yeah, I don’t wanna play this time around. Best of luck to Team Sokovia.

Darth Lehnsherr: This game is pedestrian… I would rather play an obscure game… like Pandemic… That’s a fun board game…

(Sheikh whispers to Keanu about how that really is a fun board game.)

MrGamer: I’m not really the Bee’s Knees or the Cat’s Pajamas about Box Office… so I’m outta here!

*Premium George flashes a wolf-like smile towards Wrath.*

Premium George: I’ll be leaving the game as well. Because I’m sure you will, too. Wrath.

*Wrath blushes.*

Wrath: Actually…


*He turns to the other players.*

Wrath: I thought about why I was here. I thought about WrathOfHan, my son. I thought about all the money I could win. And I thought about how it’d hurt my pride if I walked from the game. So for that reason… I’m still playing.

*The other players gasp in shock.*


Premium George: Hey, wait-

SLAM!: It’s settled then! Because they all failed to send in Weekly Challenge predictions for two weeks in a row, AVATREE, BAUMER, DARTH LEHNSHERR, MRGAMER, and PREMIUM GEORGE have all been eliminated from Survivor.

*Avatree, baumer, Darth Lehnsherr, and MrGamer walk away peacefully.*

Premium George: (points at Wrath with an angry pointer finger) Hey! You tricked me!

Wrath: Told you you’d shoot yourself in the foot.

*Security guards drag Premium George away.*


*The competitors turn toward SLAM!.*

SLAM!: So some of you might be wondering: what happens now that five players were eliminated at once?

PanaMovie: (cocks an eyebrow) I, for one, would like to know.

SLAM!: Well, here’s the run-down. First of all, there’s not gonna be any Tribal Council this week. We’ve lost enough players as it is! Don’t worry, though—you’ll still be earning Tuck Shop Coins with your predictions!


SLAM!: But that’s not all! Due to the amount of players eliminated at once, production has been asked to add a Secret Mystery Twist to the game! For the first time in Box Office Survivor history, players are being added to the game while it’s in progress! Come on out in alphabetical order!


*Three silhouettes are seen covered by fog at the stadium entrance. The first player to step out of the fog is…*






( @elcaballero)


elcaballero: They guy who came in 7th or 8th place in Season Four is back.



*The second player to step out of the fog is…*






( @glassfairy)


glassfairy: I may be a newcomer, but I’m here to win. Don’t you forget it.



*The third player to step out of the fog is…*






( @JJ-8)





*Wait a minute… There’s a fourth player coming out of the fog… He’s a familiar face… Wait… No… It can’t be… How is it possible?! It’s…






( @Mr Pastaffelees)


Mr Pastaffelees: The pleasure’s mine.

YourMother: Oh. My. God.

captainwondyful: He looks kinda familiar…

Claire of Themyscira: Maybe that’s because he hosted the game three times in a row.



*The contestants turn to SLAM! and stare at him expectantly.*

SLAM!: That’s right!


elcaballero, glassfairy, JJ-8, and Mr Pastaffelees

have officially joined the game as contestants! One will join Team Asgard, one will join Team Wakanda, and the other two will join Team Sokovia! And the teams they join are determined by how well the teams did in this weekend challenge!

*The contestants stare at the new contestants in shock.*


CONFESSIONAL – Fancyarcher: This is exciting! Two of the new players are Season Four veterans, just like me and Wrath! I might want to reach out to them and see if they want to work with me going forward… 

CONFESSIONAL – Rorschach: This isn’t good. All four of them seem pretty competent.

CONFESSIONAL – Thanos Legion: This disrupts the balance… I will not stand for an event which disrupts the balance…


SLAM!: With that being said, you guys better put some focus on the obstacle course, because the challenge starts now! GO, GO, GO!!


*The players begin the obstacle course. StarWarsMemer, Kjtc, and captainwondyful trip over some of the hurdles on the first obstacle. The players make peanut butter sandwiches at the second obstacle—Wrath adds too much—“hey, do I look like someone who’s been to culinary school?”—while Sheikh and DAJK put on too little. They get through the third obstacle, where they have to discern whether the food is Ready Or Not, and they get to the final obstacle, where they must sing the Star Spangled Banner.*

Fancyarcher: Mi-mi-mi-mi! Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!

PanaMovie: Are you gonna sing or just warm up?

Fancyarcher: Okay, I think I’m ready… Oh, see can you say! By the light’s early dawn!

(Rorschach face palms.)

Claire of Themyscira: I’m gonna sing this national anthem… In the style of Cardi B!

ZeeSoh: Claire, don’t—

Claire of Themyscira: Oh, the rocket’s red glRrRrRrRrRr! The bombs bursting in RrRrRrRrRr!

Sheikh: That was actually a quite enthralling musical take on the Star Spangled Banner… It gives the song a Hispanic flair… Perhaps it’s a commentary on immigration…

chasmmi: Sheikh, will you focus?!

Skeikh: Oh, right! Let’s see… Okay, I’m ready…

*Sheikh sings the song, and everyone is floored by his singing voice…*

DAJK: You’ve got a great singing voice, Sheikh!

Sheikh: Thanks! Yours isn’t bad, either! Neither is yours, Keanu!

Keanu: Of course you’d find a way to work in a compliment towards me…

Sheikh: Yeah… Of course…

*They kiss.*

captainwondyful: Look at that, everyone! It’s the power of music!


*All of the contestants get their predictions in and line up in front of SLAM!.*

SLAM!: Okay! Let’s see how everyone did!




YourMother the Edgelord - 88.37%

Keanu - 86.66%

Thanos Legion - 85.66%

Sheikh - 85.60%

chasmmi - 84.29%

StarWarsMemer - 71.50%

Total Average - 83.68%


YourMother: Whoa, what?

Keanu: Congratulations, man! That's an impressive score!

YourMother: Thanks, Keanu! I didn't expect that!

(Thanos Legion side-eyes YourMother.)




Rorschach - 86.79%
PanaMovie - 85.91%

Fancyarcher - 82.67%

Wrath - 80.98%

Total Average - 83.34%


Wrath: I'm sorry, guys... That's not the type of score I'm known for...

PanaMovie: Hey, dude. At least you're in the game.

Rorschach: And it's not like there's a tribal council, either. We can relax this week.

Fancyarcher: We're just glad you're in the game, man!

Wrath: (becomes teary-eyed) You guys...

(They engage in a group hug.)




Claire of Themyscira - 88.97%

ZeeSoh - 87.50%

captainwondyful - 85.08%

DAJK - 83.52%

Kjtc - 81.02%

Total Average - 85.21%


DAJK: Yeah, we won!!

Claire of Themyscira: Mmm, hmmm!

captainwondyful: Maybe Sheikh really was onto something with Claire's Cardi-B-style rendition!

ZeeSoh: I beg to differ...


SLAM!: Well, there you have it! Team Wakanda is the winner of the challenge this time around! No Tribal Council this time, so you don't have to worry about elimination this week!

Mr Pastaffelees: Ahem. How about your new players?

JJ-8: Yeah! I can hardly wait to get on one of these teams!

glassfairy: I didn't come all this way just to twiddle my thumbs. Put me on a team, and do it pronto.

elcaballero: You mustn't keep me waiting. I have beauty sleep to catch up on.

SLAM!: Oh! Right! Ahem!


Okay, everyone! Now that four new players will be joining the game, here is the new team layout:








Thanos Legion

YourMother the Edgelord


chasmmi: My old stahlwart of an ally.

elcaballero: It sure pleases me to know that I'm remembered... Hello, old friend.







Mr Pastaffelees





glassfariy: Of course, they're lumping me in with the losers. Hmph.

Mr Pastaffelees: Hey, as a former host, I've seen that things can change on a dime. You could be the bearer of that.

glassfairy: Hmph.






Claire of Themyscira





captainwondyful: (turns to Kjtc) Did you hear that, Kjtc?! We're on Survivor!!

ZeeSoh: My team's got character after character...




SLAM!: All of the information you need to know for next week is in the spoiler box below!



The Tuck Shop is officially open for business!


Every week, a subset of items will be on sale at the tuck shop. Buy a quick boost now, or wait for something better down the road! Here is everyone's current balance. If you are not listed, you have 0 coins.


The highest scoring member of each team gets two coins.

Every member of the winning team gets three coins.

In the case that a player who did not send in predictions is on the winning team, that player will not receive tuck shop coins.


Current Balance

5: chasmmi, Claire of Themyscira, YourMother the Edgelord, ZeeSoh

3: captainwondyful, DAJK, Keanu, Kjtc, Sheikh, StarsWarsMemer, Thanos Legion

2: Fancyarcher, Rorschach


CANDY APPLE - 3 Coins (Gives the average of your predictions a boost of 2%.)


This is the only item on sale this week. PM me if you want it by Thursday, August 29th at 11:59PM PST! Also, remember that you do not need to use it this week! Simply indicate in any challenge when you will be using it!




Bennett's War

Don't Let Go

Angel Has Fallen


Ready or Not

The Angry Birds Movie II


Spider-Man: Far From Home


Predictions are due by Thursday, August 29nd at 11:59 PM PST.


And, to celebrate the Secret Mystery Twist:




The Lion King

47 Meters Down: Uncaged

Blinded By The Light

The Art of Racing in the Rain

The Peanut Butter Falcon


The player in first place receives two Tuck Shop Coins.

The player in second place receives one Tuck Shop Coin.

The players in last and second-to-last place receive one vote against them in the case their team is next to go to Tribal Council.


Flash fight predictions are due by Tuesday, August 27th, at 11:59 EST.


Edited by SLAM!
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I was the highest scoring bitch of the week?




This was MY time to shine and I got Cardi??? I am OFFENDED. My one and only true vocal inspiration is Christina Aguilera, bitches. Other than that, it is VERY accurate that I would outshine everyone though.




This is for the gays! This is for the LGBTQ+ community!!! This is for Mexico!!!!! This is for everyone who has EVER been ignored! Now, where's my special privilege of automatically advancing to the merge?




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FWIW, it’s before 11:59 PST and we just got today’s daily numbers from Asgard. Would be quite awkward if that happened with the Tuesday dailies before the Tues submission deadline. So it might make sense to go back to EST for the flash fights.     

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5 hours ago, Thanos Legion said:

FWIW, it’s before 11:59 PST and we just got today’s daily numbers from Asgard. Would be quite awkward if that happened with the Tuesday dailies before the Tues submission deadline. So it might make sense to go back to EST for the flash fights.   


Good point. I'll think I'll change it back to EST...

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@captainwondyful @chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @DAJK @elcaballero @Fancyarcher @glassfairy @JJ-8 @Keanu @Kjtc @Mr Pastaffelees @PanaMovie @Rorschach @Sheikh @StarWarsMemer @Thanos Legion @Wrath @YourMother the Edgelord @ZeeSoh


Obligatory reminder that the Flash Fight predictions are due tonight at 11:59 PM EST! It's an optional game, but it might be worth your while!

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On 8/27/2019 at 12:20 PM, Thanos Legion said:

FWIW, it’s before 11:59 PST and we just got today’s daily numbers from Asgard. Would be quite awkward if that happened with the Tuesday dailies before the Tues submission deadline. So it might make sense to go back to EST for the flash fights.     

what if the lighting strike during the day 😛

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30 minutes ago, Thanos Legion said:

It looks like The Peanut Butter Falcon Monday number is still an estimate rather than an actual, I assume we’ll just use the Tuesday estimate for it?    


Don’t think this day will extract a heavy toll.


That's something I'm taking into account from now on because Roadside was similarly late making that weekend estimate into an actual. I had to re-do a few scores because of that.


I still want to post the Flash Fight results today regardless because I have a bit of a busy day tomorrow.

Edited by SLAM!
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25 minutes ago, SLAM! said:


That's something I'm taking into account from now on because Roadside was similarly late making that weekend estimate into an actual. I had to re-do a few scores because of that.


I still want to post the Flash Fight results today regardless because I have a bit of a busy day tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm guessing they won't post weekday actuals until Friday or next Monday, but not sure.

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@Fancyarcher @JJ-8 @Mr Pastaffelees @PanaMovie @Thanos Legion @Wrath


@captainwondyful @chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @DAJK @elcaballero @glassfairy @Keanu @Kjtc @Rorschach @Sheikh @StarWarsMemer @YourMother the Edgelord @ZeeSoh


story cameos:


*The six Flash Fight contestants stand in booths, one for each of them.*

SLAM!: Alright,contestants! Here's the contest: inspired by Don't Let Go, the goal of this Flash Fight is to have the longest phone call with one person! The trick is, you can't tell them that your conversation must be a long one. Ready, set, go!


*The contestants quickly call people and begin their conversations.*


*Wrath calls WrathOfHan.*

Wrath: Hey, Han. Just wanted to check in on you, and--

WrathOfHan: Nope.

*WrathOfHan hangs up.*

SLAM!: Wrath is the first one out of the competition.

*Wrath frowns and leaves his booth.*


*Fancyarcher calls Reddroast.*

Fancyarcher: Hey, Reddroast! How you doing, man! How are you doing after your elimination.

Reddroast: No. I'm not in the mood to talk about that. I'm salty. Really salty.

*Reddroast hangs up.*

Fancyarcher: Geez, Morton...

SLAM!: Fancyarcher is the second one out of the competition.

*Fancyarcher frowns and leaves his booth. Rorschach lays his face in his hands.*


CONFESSIONAL - Rorschach: This is really bad. If Team Sokovia goes to Tribal Council, things could get really ugly depending on who wins immunity.


*PanaMovie calls Charlie Jatinder.*

PanaMovie: Charlie Jatinder! Wassup! I just wanted to ask; do you like the box office?

Charlie Jatinder: I do like the box office. You should know this.

PanaMovie: (cocks an eyebrow) I mean, I do know that... but I was hoping you'd elaborate on why you like the Box Office.

Charlie Jatinder: I'm busy at the moment. Maybe another time.

*Charlie Jatinder hangs up.*

SLAM!: PanaMovie is the next one out of the competition.

*PanaMovie frowns and leaves his booth.*


*JJ-8 calls Eric!.*

JJ-8: Hey, Eric! I'm on Survivor again!

Eric!: YEAH!


Eric!: YEAH!


Eric!: YEAH!




*Eric! hangs up.*

SLAM!: JJ-8 is the next one out of the competition.

*JJ-8 frowns and leaves his booth.*


*Mr Pastaffelees calls The Panda.*

Mr Pastaffelees: Hey, are you free to plan the design next year's Boffies?

The Panda: Well, it's kind of early, but... Sure! Let's do it!


*Thanos Legion calls Kalo.*

Thanos Legion: Thanos Legion here. Why do you like the MCU?

Kalo: Well, I like the MCU enough to have Captain America as my avatar, and not just because the superheroes are cool, but because of directorial styles, and all the actors, who are all pretty good at performing their roles, and...

Thanos Legion: Heh heh heh...


SLAM!: This is it! The final battle! Who's phone conversation will be the longest?


*Mr Pastaffelees' phone conversation continues.*

Mr Pastaffelees: Well, I think the Boffies should be this and that and that and this...

The Panda: Yes. Yes. I agree!


*Thanos Legion's phone conversation... isn't as successful.*

Kalo: Well, I have to go because the next MCU film is already in theaters and I have to go see it.

*Kalo hangs up.*


SLAM!: Mr Pastaffelees wins the challenge! Thanos Legion gets second place!

Mr Pastaffelees: Nice! This keeps me in the game for the time being!

Thanos Legion: Second place last time, second place this time. All is right in the world.


SLAM!: Here are the full results!


1st - Mr Pastaffelees: 96.58% (+2 Tuck Shop Coins)

2nd - Thanos Legion: 96.56% (+1 Tuck Shop Coins)

3rd - JJ-8: 95.62%

4th - PanaMovie: 95.04%

5th - Fancyarcher: 94.68% (one vote against them at Tribal Council)

6th - Wrath: 88.84% (one vote against them at Tribal Council)



SLAM!: Oh! And one more thing, pertaining the next weekend challenge:


For the weekend challenge, I've replaced one film with another one; here is the revised list:


Bennett's War (this film replaces Good Boys)

Don't Let Go

Angel Has Fallen


Ready or Not

The Angry Birds Movie II


Spider-Man: Far From Home



(And I'm sorry if I bothered anyone by putting cameos in the story...)

Edited by SLAM!
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