AVENGERS: ENDGAME WEEKEND THREAD l Actuals: $357.115M | $866.526M OS, $1.223B WW l Russos true box office kings l *** NO SPOILERS - Even Tagged ***| SALE NOW LIVE: 50% Off Gold Montly, 25% Off Gold Annually

[Alli]

we need a good ol fashionable flop to spice up the forum

[Biggestgeekever]

8 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Due to the dire lack of shitposting I am forced to bring forth the greatest piece of cinematic glory here. Something that the MCU, DCEU, Cameron, Potter or any of the vanilla franchises could top.

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We open in the deserts of Saudi Arabia as the screen is cluttered with both sand and lens flares. We center in a group of soldiers guarding a compound in the distance. We then see a giant weaponized jet in the distance. The soldiers prepare to garner their weapons as we see a man decked out with a cryogenic suit and ice blaster. The man introduces himself as The Brain Freezer. The soldiers give him a warning to back off or else but The Brain Freezer shoots his ice blaster freezing the soldiers one by one while making very shitty ice puns as he storms his way inside all the way downstairs and picks up an alien artifact of a flame like symbol. However, a partially frozen soldiers clicks the self destruct button in the base creating numerous explosions along with whipcrack sound effect. The Brain Freezer grabs the artifact and dashes out of the base, dodging multiple explosions as he quickly gets away in his jet as the compound explodes in the background. Looking at a screen in the jet, revealing Bling Bling Boy in a golden pimp suit, complete with red headed waitresses in skimpy outfits, as the camera takes a few good shots of their bodies. The Brain Freezer reports he’s got the artifact he wanted. Bling Bling Boy promises he’ll give the money as soon as he get back and that with the artifact he’ll be the most powerful being in the world. Bling Bling Boy lets out a manical laugh as we see an explosion in front of a black screen and in big black and red letters, the title reads:

 

 

Michael Bay’s Johnny Test

 

We then cut to Baytick University as we hear Linkin Park like music play in the background as we see dudebros throwing a football and females in uniform... in bikinis. We then see Professor TeacherMan, in his classroom, ranting about the genius that is Michael Bay, but not before he does a roll call for his students. We hear TeacherMan shouting names until he finally gets to Johnny Test. The lens flares kicks in once more as Johnny, complete with the golden blonde hair with flame red highlights, kicks down the doors making a dope entrance on a rocket powered backpack, gliding into his seat. His classmates are in awe, as the male students applause and the female students lust. Mr. TeacherMan then does a lecture talking about the seven wonders of the world. Johnny is bored and decides to flirt with the new girl, Sissi, who rebuffs his advances. After the lecture, Mr. TeacherMan dismisses the class as the classmates storms out. Johnny still tries to get with Sissi but she still doesn’t want him. Johnny calls her stuck up and shrugs it off and heads back to his dorm, to see his best friend, Dukey, a humanoid dog with an American flag hat, smoking some pot, while making a bunch of racial jokes while playing Fortnite. Johnny talks about Sissi asking for Dukey’s advice on how to get her. Dukey suggests showing off his more manly side as it always works. The two then decide to hang out in their dorm, smoking pot and farting until Johnny looks outside the window to see Sissi in a bikini, fighting ninjas in gold suits but is easily beating them. Johnny and Dukey rush outside to help as we hear another whipcrack sound effect as the camera does a 360 shot of their fighting and a few shots Sissi’s bikini and ass until they defeat the ninjas. Sissi thanks Johnny for the help and offers to hang out sometime, not before government agents arrive, knocking out both Johnny and Dukey.

 

We then cut to the Pentagon as we see the President (who raps to talk) describes his greatness in the State of The Union while giving his plan for the year. However, he’s quickly pulled aside by his top two CIA agents, Mr. White, a black man and Mr. Black, a white man. The President quickly ends the presentation as they speedwalk through the White House while passing through a wall of American memorabilia. Mr White explains that The Brain Freezer has broken into one of their secret compound and stolen an powerful artifact. Mr. Black then says that it can start an armageddon, also pointing out that The Brain Freezer has also stolen their gear for a interstellar communication system. The President assumes it was Bling Bling Boy, who has done multiple acts of terrorism.

 

Johnny and Dukey wake up from their previous unconscious. Dukey jokes that Sissi is kinkier than they thought. The two are then greeted by two familiar faces, his sisters, Susan (a red headed woman in a lab coat with a star shirt underneath that exposes her midriff) and Mary (same clothing as Susan but with a moon shirt that also exposes her midriff). Johnny says he wasn’t surprised they’re doing experiments but he’s surprised they’d work for government rats. Susan explains that things have changed and that they need his and Dukey’s help once more. The President, Mr. White, Mr. Black and Sissi arrive in the room as well. Sissi proudly explains she was the one who brought in Johnny. Gil, sporting a robotic arm suddenly arrives to the base, explaining they need Johnny’s help as Susan and Mary fawn over him.

 

Mary says that The Brain Freezer has stolen the Space Flame, a mythical artifact that acts an infathomable power source to summon a hostile group of aliens. Susan says that they need Johnny and Dukey, to save the world once more and retrieve before he can do something nefarious with it. Mr. White explains that a tracker has been placed on The Brain Freezer unknowingly during his raid. Mary said they’ve been working on a perfected serum to give the user superpowers but the serum has killed almost all of their test subjects except, but before Mary can finish her sentence, Johnny exclaims he and Dukey are tired of being their lab rats. Susan assures Johnny that what happened in the war and Fred’s death isn’t his fault and they still won but Johnny refuses and he and Dukey leave but not before he leaves, Mary asks Sissi to stop him and tries to convince him to reconsider, handing her the serum and costumes for the two. Sissi agreed and leave but not after we hear the same whipcrack noise for earlier, that Bling Bling Boy in a gold robotic mech suit and Brain Freezer bursts in. BBB snatches Susan with his grappling claw, expresses his joy to be reunited with his love but Susan explains she’ll never love or even like him. A group of army soldiers arrive as well to help defend them. Mary also grabs a big gun as well, Mr. Black tells some of them to escort the President out of their and a brawl breaks out. BBB blasts lasers at Gil, Mary, Mr. Black and Mr. White who shot at him with their guns while soldiers fight the Brain Freezer. The fight is so epic we hear a mix of the Johnny Test whipcrack noise and Linkin Park esque music as the lens flares blare. The Brain Freezer freezes the soldiers to death one by one, and just as Gil and Mary free Susan, and as Mr. Black and Mr. White almost beat BBB, the Brain Freezer freezes Mr. Black and Mr. White solid. BBB then knocks out Gil and attempts to kill Mary, by choking her with his grappling claw, warning that if Susan doesn’t help them, she dies. Susan without a beat reluctantly agree to the two’s demands.  BBB demands the serum but Susan reveals it’s gone much to BBB’s outrage but calms down and takes Susan with him as Brain Freezer rigs the Pentagon to explode as the two villains escape with Susan. Mary thaws out the agents quickly as the three grabs Gil and the four head into a escape pod barely escaping as the Pentagon and the White House explodes, frozen in an icy like substance.

 

We cut to Johnny and Dukey working out at an abandoned warehouse. Sissi arrives trying to convince them to help them but Johnny refuses. Sissi explains she and the world needs him, admitting she has some feelings for him but everyone will die otherwise. Johnny sighs and explains to her the story of the war. Johnny and Dukey were enlisted to help fight against evil space mole men as the superheroes Johnny X and Superpooch alongside the army along with his friends, Fred Johnson, nicknamed Coconut Fred demolition expert and pilot and Gil, the top soldier in the army to break into the mothership tanker underground. Johnny then explains that the fight was going good despite Gil’s arm lose but the tanker was rigged to explode and kill everyone on Earth. Without hesitation, Fred piloted the tanker into outer space to avoid the disaster for hurting others, died. Johnny sheds a tear and Dukey comforts him. Sissi explaining he was memorialized as a hero for the events and they should do it for Fred. Johnny and Dukey reluctantly agree to go through with it as Johnny and Sissi passionately make out. The three are then ambushed by a pack of ninjas, and Johnny and Dukey quickly down the serum. The ninjas charge at Johnny who blows them back with his hurricane hands. Dukey, flying it the air, shapeshifts his paws into blades and stabs the ninja. Johnny then farts out explosive blasts of fire sending the ninjas flying. Although the ninjas are defeated, a ninja manages to steal their costumes. The three then walk out of the warehouse to get a call from Mary, revealing that BBB kidnapped Susan and is planning to destroy the world. Mary sends them to coordination and sees that the two have received their superpowers but Mary asks what happened to their costumes. Dukey reveals the ninjas stole much to Mary’s horror as their souped up DNA is in the suits and BBB can use it. Johnny also points out that the costumes gave their powers a boost too.

 

Meanwhile back at BBB’s lab, Susan is being forced to design the doomsday machine. BBB attempts to flirt with her but she still rebuffs him, causing her to be shocked with pain via her shock collar. BBB say she’ll learn to love him. BBB thanks her for the machine and serum saying that hopefully his ninjas will arrive. The ninjas arrive with the costumes much to Susan’s shock. Back at the warehouse, Gil, Mary, Mr. Black and Mr. White meet up on what to do next. Mary remembers that there’s costumes back at their parents house and Johnny and Sissi rush back to Johnny’s parents house join Hubert and Lisa Test for a meatloaf dinner while Dukey gets the costumes. But before they leave, Hubert tells his son to save the planet. Johnny and Dukey suit up as Johnny X and Superpooch as the seven then rush to Bling Bling Island as we see a massive sky beam, (we show cuts of the world falling apart which a lot of shots of Americans in trouble as explosions appear out of thin air, attacked by robotic gremlins being summoned (we get a cool scene of TeacherMan using a shotgun to protect to his students from the bloodthirsty robots.) and are stopped by a super powered group of ninjas and the power charged Brain Freezer due to the costumes fabrics. Johnny X and Superpooch fight the Brain Freezer as the rest fights the ninjas: Mary and Sissi are blasting away at ninjas with a ray gun, Mr. Black and Mr. White are violently beating up ninjas as Johnny X and Superpooch dodge freezing lasers. Johnny X uses his hurricane hands at Brain Freezer who makes another shitty ice pun try to collide it with an ice beam. Lens flares and power clash as Dukey farts out a noxious gas that causes Brain Freezer to cough up and Johnny lets out a fire fart creating a massive explosion that lets out a whipcrack sound, killing Brain Freezer. The rest have also killed he ninjas but before they can proceed, BBB crashes in, powered up ready to fight refusing to lose. Johnny X says they’ll stay here and fight and the others need to go and save Susan and the world. Johnny X, Superpooch and BBB Duke it out in a gruesome fight, BBB fires energy blasts leveling parts of the world which Superpooch evades and Johnny X dishes out super powered punches. Eventually the fight becomes a standstill until Johnny gets an idea, combining his hurricane hands and fire farts to create a tornado of fire which badly burn BBB as Superpooch stabs BBB, killing him but not before warning Johnny it is just the beginning. Sissi uses her out of nowhere code breaking skills to stop the machine but triggers a self destruct mechanism, as Gil frees Susan. The seven then use Superpooch’s teleportation power escape the island as it makes the biggest explosion ever in a Michael Bay movie. 

 

A week later, the President gives Johnny and Dukey medals of honor, promotes Sissi to an official commander of agents (and grant her a skimpy outfit), Gil ends up with both Susan and Mary. Mr. Black and Mr. White retrieving parts of Brain Freezer’s body, revealing he’s an alien robot. Johnny and Sissi are also an item to and make out as the credits show up, playing 6ix9ine’s Jonathan Testicles song.

 

Mid Credit Scene: We see a salad shaped spaceship in space with a group of green skinned humanoid vegans inside. The leader says they’ll be coming to Earth soon to enforce revenge for the suffering of animals, with their new weapon. We then cut to the remains of Coconut Fred hooking up a strange machine, granting him a coconut cyborg body, as Fred opens his red eyes open.

 

 

 

[YM!]

Just now, Biggestgeekever said:

This is what happens with the lack of shitposting.

[Porthos]

3 hours ago, FlashMaster659 said:

@Porthos What time are your Sacramento reports coming today?

Depending on how long it takes to type up after getting the data, approx 1:30pm PDT and probably 6pm PDT, though I might be able to get that latter one in by 5:45pm or a tad earlier. 

[FlashMaster659]

Would be awesome if we get a total pre-sale update before preview estimates start coming in

[Alli]

 

Edited April 25, 2019 by Alli

[HouseOfTheSun]

Less than 12 hours now before I see endgame...I’m scared 

Edited April 25, 2019 by HouseOfTheSun

[Brainbug]

1 minute ago, HouseOfTheSun said:

Less than 12 hours now before I see endgame...I’m scared 

 

24 Hours for me. Been waiting 4 years for more scenes with Hawkguy, i hope it was worth the wait.

[HeadShot]

18 minutes ago, Thanos Legion said:

I’m not saying it will happen, or is even >50% yet. But anyone saying “never,” “impossible,” “0%,” etc at this point just isn’t paying enough attention. Endgame is coming for a 1.1-1.2 WW OW, IW global legs will get it past Avatar and reception is better than IW.

Well of course it’s possible but it’s probaly going to stall around 2,2 billion. It’s legs will be much shorter due to the high opening and Pikachu is coming. 

16 minutes ago, IronJimbo said:

It's great to see the box office in such a healthy state! Geniunely pleased for Marvel Movie 22.

This bodes really well for Avatar 2, with the international markets so strong we could be looking at possibly 5 billies.

How did Alita do again? 

[TomeRide]

3 minutes ago, Brainbug said:

 

24 Hours for me. Been waiting 4 years for more scenes with Hawkguy, i hope it was worth the wait.

No worry. He was one of the best parts of the movie, at least imo.

Edited April 25, 2019 by TomeRide

[JB33]

26 and a half hours for me. This. Is. Killing. Me.

[MadmenEndgame]

Is @IronJimbo a serious bot member or a parody account?

 

He seems like a joke. 

[NCsoft]

22 minutes ago, IronJimbo said:

It's great to see the box office in such a healthy state! Geniunely pleased for Marvel Movie 22.

This bodes really well for Avatar 2, with the international markets so strong we could be looking at possibly 5 billies.

With Endgame locked to do $500M in China, thus finally breaking the hollywood ceiling of $400M set in 2015, I can see Avatar 2 Getting close to $1B just in China alone, we'll see if that happens.

[NCsoft]

6 minutes ago, HeadShot said:

How did Alita do again? 

Pretty good as far as I'm concerned

[JB33]

2 minutes ago, MadmenEndgame said:

Is @IronJimbo a serious bot member or a parody account?

 

He seems like a joke. 

I've come to the conclusion that most Cameron fanboys here are parodies/caricatures.

[HouseOfTheSun]

1 minute ago, MadmenEndgame said:

Is @IronJimbo a serious bot member or a parody account?

 

He seems like a joke. 

Jimbo is the only superstan on the forum that I respect. He’s got his principles and sticks by them 

[LaughingEvans]

5 minutes ago, MadmenEndgame said:

Is @IronJimbo a serious bot member or a parody account?

 

He seems like a joke. 

He's a legit good poster. 

[HeadShot]

4 minutes ago, NCsoft said:

Pretty good as far as I'm concerned

That’s because you didn’t have to cash out 170 million and lose money. 

[NCsoft]

1 minute ago, HeadShot said:

 That’s because you didn’t have to cash out 170 million and lose money. 

with ancillary market, it'll probably reach break even point, which is more than you can say for any other previous Anime/Manga adaptations. 

[Legion Again]

15 minutes ago, HeadShot said:

Well of course it’s possible but it’s probaly going to stall around 2,2 billion. It’s legs will be much shorter due to the high opening and Pikachu is coming. 

That’s less than a 2.2x global multi, much less realistic than over Avatar. If you want a realistic low case maybe 2.3, realistic realistic case 2.45ish.